這些跡象表明你們的戀情並不開心大綱

Signs You Might Be in an Unhappy Relationship

這些跡象表明你們的戀情並不開心

1. There's no fight left.

1. 你們不再爭吵。

Common sense would pinpoint having too many arguments as a relationship red flag. And while that may be true, so is the opposite: "Healthy relationships have conflict," says Stephanie Wijkstrom, a psychotherapist and founder of The Counseling and Wellness Center of Pittsburgh. "A normal dose of disagreement shows that you are investing in the relationship."

常識告訴你：爭吵太多表明你們的戀情出現了問題。即便這可能是事實，但反過來也是如此：“爭吵是健康戀情的一部分，”匹茲堡諮詢與健康中心的心理治療師兼創始人史蒂芬妮·維克斯特姆（Stephanie Wijkstrom）說道。“正常的糾紛表明你對這段感情投入了時間和精力。”

Without that, the emotional climate of a relationship can become stagnant. "When a couple isn't bickering or disagreeing at all, that's a sign that both members of the couple have given up and are feeling hopeless about the impact they can have on each other and about the chances of the relationship changing," says Lyons.

若完全沒有爭吵，你們的戀情就會停滯不前。“當情侶不再爭吵或不再出現分歧，這或許表明雙方已不抱希望，覺得自己無法對另一半產生影響，無法改變這段感情，”里昂（Lyons）說道。

2. You prioritize your friends and family over your partner.

2. 你認爲朋友和家人比另一半重要。

While it's important to make time for people outside your relationship, it becomes an issue if you'd always rather see them than your partner. "When you had a good day at work, when you ran into someone you haven't seen in a while, when you find a $20 bill in your jacket pocket—who do you want to run and tell?" asks Raffi Bilek, a couples counselor and director of the Baltimore Therapy Center. "If you're in a happy relationship, odds are it's your partner. If you're not, it's probably somebody else."

雖然和其他人相處也很重要，但如果你總想着和其他人而非另一半見面，這就成了問題。“在你工作很開心的時候，在你遇到了好久沒見的熟人的時候，在你發現衣服口袋裏有20塊錢的時候——你最想告訴誰呢？”巴爾的摩治療中心的夫妻顧問和主任拉菲·比萊克（Raffi Bilek）問道。“如果你們的感情融洽，你最想與之分享的人應該是另一半。如若不然，你首先想到的可能是其他人。”

Beware of overly relying on friends or family for emotional safety and support, too. "That's a sign that someone has lost not only the desire to bring their deeper emotions to their partner, but that they may no longer feel safe being vulnerable with them," says Kimberly Ciardella, a marriage and family therapist.

同時，過度依賴朋友或家人向他們尋求情感慰藉和支持也是一個危險跡象。“這表明你不僅喪失了對另一半吐露內心深處情感的慾望，而且還覺得和他/她在一起的時候沒有安全感，”婚姻和家庭治療師金伯利·恰爾代拉（Kimberly Ciardella）說道。

3. Date night ceases to exist.

3. 約會之夜不復存在。

When date nights, no matter how short, become non-existent, or your partner finds excuses to avoid coming home (or vice versa), alarm bells should go off. "People use 'being busy' as a way to run away from and avoid being intimate and close," says psychologist Mary Ann Mercer. "They're also running away from their problems. They hide in all their activities and hope that things will just heal themselves, but they won't."

當約會之夜（不論時間長短）不復存在，或你的另一半找藉口不回家（反之亦然）時，你心中的警鐘就該敲響了。“有些人會以‘我很忙’爲藉口避開與另一半親密，”心理學家瑪麗·安·默瑟（Mary Ann Mercer）說道。“這種做法也是在逃避問題。他們以各種活動爲擋箭牌，希望事情能自我解決，但大家都知道，這是不可能的。”