這些跡象表明你從父母那兒學到了不好的感情習慣

1. You doubt your partner all the time.

1．你總是懷疑另一半。

It's hard to watch your parents go through a divorce or a rocky time, especially if you were younger when it happened. Although most studies show that divorce doesn't eternally "mess up" children any more than those whose parents remain married, it can create some anxiety issues, which can later be translated into a general fear of commitment or rejection, according to Psychology Today. Since you know that a marriages can, and do, end, your attachment styles might be all over the place, depending on how secure you feel with another person.

眼睜睜的看着父母離婚或看着他們度過一段艱難時期並非易事，如果這些情況在你年幼時發生，那麼情況更是如此。雖然很多研究表明，與父母沒有離婚的孩子相比，父母離婚的孩子並沒有被離婚永遠"搞砸"，但離婚會造成一些焦慮問題，後期可能會轉化爲對承諾或拒絕的普遍恐懼，《今日心理學》雜誌表示。既然你知道婚姻可以也必定終結，那麼你的依戀風格可能十分隨意，取決於另一個人帶給你的安全感。

2. You talk to everyone *but* your partner.

2. 你向每個人訴說衷腸，但這些人卻不包括你的另一半。

No one's perfect, but communication styles are one of the first things we pick up on as kids and teenagers. If your parents weren't good at coming together and hashing things out with each other, or if you didn't see any of that bonding, you might not have picked up on how important talking really is. If your parents were great at complaining about each other to anyone who would listen, you might find yourself talking about your relationship to friends instead of going right to the source with your needs.

人無完人，但溝通方式是孩童時代（兒童和青少年時期）就首先學會的事情。如果你的父母不善於聚在一起、總是懟對方，或者你看不見他們之間的情感紐帶，那你可能還沒有認識到談話的重要性。如果你的父母非常善於向那些願意傾聽的人抱怨對方，那麼你也可能會和你的朋友談論你們的戀情，而不是帶着你的需求直接找另一半交流。

Richard Weissbourd, the psychologist behind the Harvard University study about talking to kids about love, recommended that parents have their kids watch shows with "good" marriages, like Friday Night Lights and Blackish. That sounds totally silly, but if your parents weren't great at disagreeing with each other, you might want to channel when it comes to talking about your needs in a relationship.

哈佛大學一項研究（和孩子談論愛）的心理學家理查德·韋斯伯德建議父母給孩子看一些婚姻幸福美滿的電視節目，比如《勝利之光》和《喜新不厭舊》。雖說聽起來很蠢，但如果你的父母不擅長頂撞對方，那在感情需求方面，你可能想要換個頻道。

3. You withhold information.

3. 你對信息有所保留。

Just like gossiping about your partner's bad habits can be a sign of bad communication, so is hiding things from your main squeeze. You know the old "don't tell mom" trope? You have to kick the idea of thinking that some things are better left unsaid. Dr. Michele Kerulis, professor of counseling at Northwestern University told Bustle that little white lies can lead to major trust issues.

就像閒聊另一半的壞習慣可能是溝通不良的跡象一樣，對另一半有所保留也是一個跡象。你知道這句老話嗎"不要告訴我媽"？你不能再繼續認爲有些話還是不說爲好了。美國西北大學的諮詢教授邁克爾·克瑞斯醫生對Bustle說道，善意的謊言可能會造成重大的信任問題。