雙語暢銷書《我是馬拉拉》第5章2:實話

I realise now she could have been telling the truth but back then I thought, She is doing this to me and I will do the same to her. I used to go to her house to study, so whenever I was there I would pocket her things, mostly toy jewellery like earrings and necklaces. It was easy. At first stealing gave me a thrill, but that did not last long. Soon it became a compulsion. I did not know how to stop.

我現在知道她可能說的是實話，但當時我心想：“她這樣對我，那我也要這樣對她。”我常常去她家做功課。從此，我每次去她那裏，就會順手拿走她的東西，大多數是一些玩具珠寶，比如耳環和項鍊之類的東西。雖然一開始時，偷東西讓我感到很害怕，但這感覺沒有維持多久。很快地，就發展成爲一種強迫性的行爲。我不知道該怎樣停下來。

One afternoon I came home from school and rushed into the kitchen as usual for a snack. ‘Hello, Bhabi!’ I called. ‘I’m starving!’ There was silence. My mother was sitting on the floor pounding spices, brightly coloured turmeric and cumin, filling the air with their aroma. Over and over she pounded. Her eyes would not meet mine. What had I done? I was very sad and went to my room. When I opened my cupboard, I saw that all the things I had taken were gone. I had been caught.

一天，下課後我回到家，像平常一樣直奔廚房找點心吃。“嫂嫂！”我喊道，“我餓扁了！”家裏一片靜默。母親坐在地上磨香料--亮麗的薑黃和孜然，空氣裏滿是香氣。她來回磨着，不肯擡頭看我一眼。我做了什麼？我難過地回到自己的房間。當我打開櫃子時，發現所有我偷拿的東西都不見了。我的劣跡敗露了。

My cousin Reena came into my room. ‘They knew you were stealing, ’ she said. ‘They were waiting for you to come clean but you just kept on.’

表姐莉納來到我的房裏。“他們知道你在偷東西，”她說，“他們在等你去自首，可是你一直沒停手。”

I felt a terrible sinking feeling in my stomach. I walked back to my mother with my head bowed. ‘What you did was wrong, Malala, ’ she said. ‘Are you trying to bring shame on us that we can’t afford to buy such things?’

我的心立刻一沉，低着頭走回母親身旁。“你做了錯事，馬拉拉。”她說，“你是想要我們因爲沒錢買那些東西給你而感到羞恥嗎？”

‘It’s not true!’ I lied. ‘I didn’t take them.’

“這不是真的！”我撒謊道，“我沒拿那些東西。”

But she knew I had. ‘Safina started it, ’ I protested. ‘She took the pink phone that Aba bought me.’

但母親知道是我拿的。“是薩芬娜先開始的，”我辯解道，“她拿了爸爸買給我的粉紅色手機。”

My mother was unmoved. ‘Safina is younger than you and you should have taught her better, ’ she said. ‘You should have set an example.’

母親一動也沒動。“薩芬娜年紀比你小，你應該好好教她”，她說，“你應該當個好榜樣。”

I started crying and apologised over and over again. ‘Don’t tell Aba, ’ I begged. I couldn’t bear for him to be disappointed in me. It’s horrible to feel unworthy in the eyes of your parents.

我哭了起來，並且不停地道歉。“不要跟爸爸說。”我懇求她。我不能忍受父親對我感到失望，在自己父母眼中一文不值的感覺非常可怕。