經典英語笑話6篇

英語笑話是指以一句英文短語或一個英文故事讓說話者和聽者之間覺得好笑,或是產生幽默感,笑話是一種經過藝術加工的語言形式,是藝術化的語言,笑話是一種藝術方法。下面是本站小編整理的英語爆笑笑話，歡迎大家閱讀!

　　英語笑話一：

我要做的一切就是付錢!All I do is pay

"My family is just like a nation," Mr. Brown told his colleague. "My

wife is the minister of finance, my Mother-in-law is the minister of war,

and my daughter is foreign secretary."

"Sounds interesting, " his colleague replied. "And what is your

position?"

"I’m the people. All I do is pay."

布朗先生告訴同事說：“我的家簡直就象一個國家一樣。我妻子

是財政部長。我岳母是作戰部長，我女兒是外交祕書。”

“聽上去挺有意思的，”他的同事說，“那你的職務是什麼呢?”

“我就是老百姓。我要做的一切就是付錢。”

　　英語笑話二：

喂狗 For the Dog

The family seated in a restaurant had finished their dinner when Father Called over the waiter.

"My son has left quite a lot of meat on his plate," explained Father, "Could you give me a bag so that I can take it home for the dog?"

"Gosh, Dad!" exclaimed the excited boy. "Have we got a dog then?"

一家人在飯館裏吃過晚飯，父親把服務生叫了過來。

”先生，什麼事?“服務生問。

”我兒子的盤子裏剩下許多肉，“父親說，”能給我們一個袋子嗎?我把剩下的東西帶回去喂狗。“

”啊呀，爸爸!“兒子激動地叫喊着。”咱家養狗了嗎?“

　　英語笑話三：

腦移植 A Brain Transplant

The Brain Surgeon was about to perform a brain transplant.

"You have your choice of two brains," he told the patient, "For $1000 you can have the brain of a psychologist, or for $10,000 you can have the brain of a politician."

The patient was amazed at the huge difference in price. "Is the brain of a politician that much better?" he asked.

The Brain Surgeon replied, "No, it’s not better, just unused."

一個外科醫生正要作一個腦移植手術。

“你可以從兩個腦子中選一個給你。”醫生告訴病人，“一個心理學家的大腦1000美元，一個政治家的大腦10000美元。

病人很驚訝二者之間這樣大的差別，“政治家的大腦好一些嗎?”他問。

醫生說：“不是好一些，只是沒有用過。”

　　英語笑話四：

不是我的錯

It's not my fault

Mother (reprimanding訓斥，譴責 her small daughter): You mustn't pull the cat's tail.

Daughter: I'm only holding it, Mom. The cat's doing the pulling.

不是我的錯

媽媽(正教訓她的女兒)：你不該拽貓的尾巴。

女兒：媽，我只是握着貓尾巴，它自己在拽。

　　英語笑話五：

Coins in American Currency 美國的硬幣

There are 100 cents in a dollar. Coins come in the following denominations: $.01 or 1 cent (a penny,a cent, one cent), $.05 or 5 cents (a nickel, five cents),$.1 or 10 cents (a dime, ten cents), $.25 or 25 cents(a quarter, two bits, twenty-five cents), and $.50 or50 cents (a fifty-cent piece).

Coins are called "change", "small change", or"silver" though they aren’t made of silver anymore.

Coins are generally recognized by their size, butsomebody "goofed" on the dime, which is smaller than either a nickel or a penny. All the others are in size order.

One more word for you: don’t hold out your hand with either bills or coins and expect someone to take the correct change from you. That cannot be done in any Western country.一美元中有一百美分。硬幣是按下列幣值鑄造的：一美分，五美分，十美分，二十五美分，五十美分。

硬幣也叫"零錢"，"小錢"，或"銀幣"，雖然它們不再是用銀子鑄成的。總的說來，硬幣是通過大小來識別的，但總有人把十美分搞錯，它比五美分和一美分都要小。其他的都按幣值的大小順序排列。

還有一點要說明：你不能伸出手，托出一把紙幣和硬幣而希望別人從你那裏拿走數目正確的零錢。這在任何西方國家都是不好的。

　　英語笑話六：

Now We Run 現在我們跑吧

A priest is walking down the street one day when he notices a very small boy trying to press a doorbell on a house across the street. However, the boy is very small and the doorbell is too high for him to reach. After watching the boy’s efforts for some time, the priest moves closer to the boy’s position. He steps smartly across the street, walks up behind the little fellow, places his hand kindly on the child’s shoulder and gives the doorbell a sold ring. Crouching down to the child’s level, the priest smiles and asks, "And now what, my little man?" The boy replies, "Now we run!"

一個牧師正沿着街走路，這時他看到街對面有個小男孩正試圖按一所房子的門鈴。但這個小孩太小了，門鈴又高，他夠不着。看到那個小男孩費了很多勁，牧師走近了他。牧師優雅地穿過馬路，走到小傢伙的背後，輕輕地把手放在小男孩肩頭，按響了門鈴。他彎下身子，微笑着問道：“接下來怎麼辦，孩子?”小男孩回答說：“接下來我們跑。”