英語經典笑話6篇

下面是本站小編整理的英語經典笑話，歡迎大家閱讀!

　　英語經典笑話：

THE SCHOOL HEALTH FORMS had been distributed to the students with an error---the word Sex had been spelled with an o. One mother, filling out the form for her son, wrote in the blank next to Sox: Usually brown.

某學校發給學生的健康調查表裏有個錯別字把性別的性字寫成了襪字。一位母親在爲她的兒子填寫表格時，在襪別的那欄填上了：棕色爲主。

　　英語經典笑話：Clarinet

When I played with a symphony orchestra, our union reached an agreement with a major airline about which instruments we could carry on board, and which had to be shipped as luggage. A cellist was dismayed to find that his delicate, expensive wood instrument was consigned to the rougher handling and cold temperatures of the baggage hold.

He neatly solved the problem. Cello in hand, he approached the flight attendant at the gate and asked, May I bring my clarinet on board? Scanning her list, she replied, Clarinets are okay. Have a good trip, and, smiling, waved him on.

單簧管

我在一個交響樂團演奏時，我們樂團與一家大航空公司達成協議，哪些樂器可以帶上飛機，哪些樂器要作爲行李託運。一個大提琴手驚愕地發現他那精緻、昂貴的木質樂器竟要託運，經受行李艙內的低溫以及野蠻的裝缷。

他乾淨利落地解決了這個問題。他手裏拿着大提琴，走到門口的空中小姐跟前，問道：我可以將我單簧管帶上飛機嗎?她檢視了一下單子，答道，單簧管可以。祝你旅途愉快。然後微笑着揮手讓他進去了。

　　英語經典笑話：

What a world of pathos in this: A barren room, illkempt children, a worn out patient wife, a dissolute husband, and weak.

Mary, you ought to have married a better man.

John, I did.

一個何等沮喪的情景：空蕩蕩的屋子，髒兮兮的孩子，精疲力竭逆來順受的妻子，自甘墮落的丈夫，還十分虛弱。

瑪麗，你真該和一個好點兒的男人結婚。

約翰，我是這麼做了。

　　英語經典笑話：Fishing

Larry and Harry drove 500 miles to go fishing. They paid a huge sum to rent a cabin, a similar about to rent a boat. They fished for three days and caught only one fish between them.

On the way home, Harry fiddled with a calculator while Larry drove. After an hour, Harry said, Do you realize that this one fish we caught cost us almost $2,000?

Wow! Larry said, It's a good thing we didn't catch any more.

釣魚

拉里和哈里驅車500英里去釣魚。兩人花了一大筆錢租了一間小屋，又花了差不多同樣的錢租了一條船。兩人釣了三天，只釣到一條魚。

在回家的路上，拉里開車，哈里撥弄着計算器。一小時後，哈里說：你可知道我們釣的這條魚幾乎用掉我們2000美元?

哇!拉里應答：幸虧我們沒有多釣到魚。

　　英語經典笑話：What are the Two Words?

A very nice old lady had a few words to say to her granddaughter. My dear, said the old lady, I wish you would do something for me. I wish you would promise me never to use two words. One is ‘lousy’ and the other is ‘swell’. Would you promise me that?

Why, sure, Granny, said the girl. What are the two words?

一個非常和藹的老夫人有幾句話要對她的孫女說。我親愛的，老夫人說，我希望你能幫我一個忙。我要你答應永遠不要用兩個詞，一個是“討厭的”，另一個是“極好的”。你能答應我嗎?

噢，當然，奶奶。女孩說：是哪兩個詞?

　　英語經典笑話：奇猜異想

Our physics professor was struggling to draw the class into discussion of Archimede's principle of water displacement. He told us that Archimede noticed that when he got into a pool at the public bathhouse, the water rose spilling over the edge. Excited at his discovery, he ran down the street yelling, "Eureka, eureka!" The instructor asked if anyone knew what that meant.

One student stood up and answered, "I'm naked ! I'm naked!"

我們的物理教授千方百計引導我們討論阿基米德的排水原理。他告訴我們阿基米德去公共浴池洗澡，他進入池子，發現水漲高了，溢出池沿。他對這一發現十分激動，跑到街上高叫：“Eureka，Eureka!”教授問我們誰知道他喊的是什麼意思。

一個學生站起來答道：“我光屁股啦，我光屁股啦!”