英語經典笑話9篇

下面是本站小編整理的英語經典笑話，希望對大家有幫助。

　　英語經典笑話：

A newspaper organized a contest for the best answer to the question: "If a fire broke out in the Louvre, and if you could only save one painting, which one would you carry out?"

The winning reply was: "The one nearest the exit."

一份報紙組織了一場競賽，爲下面的問題徵集最佳答案：“如果盧浮宮起了火，而你只能救出一幅畫，你將救出哪一幅?”

獲獎的答案是：“最接近門口的那一幅。”

　　英語經典笑話：

The squad were having “visual training”. One smart recruit was asked by the officer to count how many men composed a digging party in a distant party was so faraway that the men appeared as mere dots， but unhesitatinglythe recruit replied： “Sixteen men and a sergeant，sir.” “Right;but how do you know there's a sergeant there?” “He's not doing any digging,sir.”

班裏正在進行“視力訓練”。一個聰明伶俐的新兵被班長叫出來數遠處曠野上採掘隊的人數。採掘隊在很遠的地方，那些人看起來只是一些小點兒。但是這個新兵毫不猶豫地回答。 “十六個兵外加一箇中士，長官。” “正確，可是你怎麼知道那兒有一箇中士?” “他不幹活，長官。”

　　英語經典笑話：

Younger Scout: How can I tell the difference between a mushroom and a toadstool(毒菌) ?Older Scout: Just eat one before you go to bed. If you wake up the next morning, it was a mushroom.

年少的童子軍：我怎樣才能把蘑菇和毒蕈區別開呢?年長的童子軍：上牀前吃一個。如果你第二天早上醒來，那就是蘑菇。

　　英語經典笑話：

When a Tiger comes Two guys were walking through the jungle. All of a sudden, a tiger appears from a distance, running towards them. One of the guys takes out a pair of "Nikes" from his bag and starts to put them on. The other guy with a surprised look and exclaims, "Do you think you will run faster than the tiger with those?" His friend replies: "I don't have to out run it, I just have to run faster than you."

兩個男人正在穿過叢林，突然，一隻老虎出現在遠處，向他們衝來。當中的一個人從包裏拿出一雙“耐克”跑鞋，開始穿上。另一個人驚奇地看着他說，“你以爲穿上跑鞋就可以跑得過老虎嗎?” 他的朋友回答道：“我不用跑得過它，我只要跑得比你快就行了。”

　　英語經典笑話：

A poor man， presenting himself before the King of Spain，asked his charity， telling him that he was his brother. Theking desiring to know how he claimed kindred to him， the poorfellow replied，“We are all descended from one common fatherand mother—viz.， Adam and Eve.” Upon which the kinggave him a little copper piece of money. The poor man beganto bemoan himself， saying，“Is it possible that your Majestyshould give no more than this to your brother?”“Away，away，”replies the king;“if all the brothers you have in theworld give you as much as I have done， you'll be richer than Iam.”

一個窮漢去見西班牙國王，說自己是他的兄弟，求他施恩賙濟。國王想知道他何以攀認親戚，窮漢回答說，“我們有共同的祖先——亞當和夏娃。”聽了這話，國王就給了他一個小銅子兒。於是窮人開始叫屈，說：“難道您國王陛下就給兄弟這麼一點點錢嗎?”“走開，快走，”國王回答，“如果世界上你所有的兄弟們都像我這樣給你一個銅板，你就比我還有錢了。”

　　英語經典笑話：

One day, John was back home after work. He found that his wife was shaking their daughter who was only half a year old. She said "Da-Dy" to the baby many times. John felt very happybecause he thought his wife chose the word "Dady" to teach their baby.

During one night several weeks later, John and his wife were waken up by the cry "Dady". His wife said to him, "Darling, she is calling you." Then she turned to sleep.

一天下班回家，約翰發現妻子在搖半歲的女兒，嘴裏反覆念道：“爸-爸。”約翰心裏感到美滋滋的，他的妻子選擇了“爸爸”這個詞首先教孩子。

幾周後的一天夜裏，約翰和妻子被一陣哭聲驚醒了，“爸-爸!”“她在叫你，親愛的。”妻子說，然後翻身竟自睡了。

　　英語經典笑話：他們都在這裏

The warden of the prison felt sorry for one of his inmates because every weekend on Visitor’s Day, most of the prisoners had family members and friends coming, but poor George always sat alone in his cell. So one Visitor’s Day, the warden called George to his office and said, "I notice you’ve never had any visitors, George." Sympathetic, he put his hand on George’s shoulder. "Tell me, don’t you have any friends or family?" George replied, "Oh, sure I do, Warden. It’s just that they’re all in here!"

典獄長對獄中一位囚犯深感同情，因爲每逢週末的探訪日，大多數囚犯都有家人或朋友來訪，但是可憐的喬治總是孤伶伶地坐在自己的囚室中。因此在一個探訪日，典獄長把喬治叫到辦公室說：“喬治，我注意到從來沒有人來探望過你。”他滿懷同情地把手放在喬治的肩膀上：“告訴我，你沒有任何朋友或家人嗎?”喬治回答：“喔!當然有，典獄長，只不過他們全都在這裏面!”

　　英語經典笑話：狗孃養的

my father, who was 14 years old than my mother, had been working on his will. at a family dinner he told us that he had provided well for mother, but the family home would go to us five children if she remarried.我爸比我媽大14歲，最近一直在寫遺囑。一次家宴上，他告訴我們說他爲母親以後的生活作好了安排，但如果她改嫁的話，家裏的房子將歸我們五個孩子所有。"i don't want another s.o.b. toasting his shins around my fireplace," he explained.“我可不願意另外哪個狗孃養的在我的火爐旁烤他的狗腿，”他解釋道。with a sly grin, mother

cracked, "what makes you think i'd marry another s.o.b?"媽媽狡猾地咧了咧嘴，譏誚道：“你怎麼認爲我會再嫁給一個狗孃養的?”

　　英語經典笑話：瞎子的判斷

Once there was a blind. One day when he was walking, he

stepped the head of the dog who was sleeping. The dog barked for a while. The blind man went on for miles, this time he stepped the other dog's tail, so this dog barked. The blind man had thought that it was the first dog, so he said in surprise, It's a wonder that the dog is so long.

從前有個瞎子。一天，他正在行路時踩着了一隻正在睡覺的狗的腦袋，狗汪汪汪地叫了一陣。這人又往前走，這回踩着的是另外一隻狗的尾巴，狗又汪汪汪地叫起來。瞎子以爲還是那條狗，驚詫地說：奇怪，這隻狗可真夠長的。