經典英語笑話8篇

下面是本站小編整理的一些經典英語笑話，希望對大家有幫助。

　　經典英語笑話：

A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. He takes his first sip and sets it down. While he is looking around the bar, a Monkey swings down and steals the pint of beer from him before he is able to stop the man asks the barman who owns the monkey. The barman replies the piano player. The man walks over to the piano player and says "Do you know your monkey stole my beer." The pianist replies "No, but if you hum it, I'll play it."

一男子去酒吧，點了一杯啤酒。他喝了一口放下。當他環視酒吧時，發現一隻猴子蕩下來，在他阻止之前，偷走了啤酒。該男子問酒吧招待，這隻猴子是誰的。服務員回答說是鋼琴手的。男子走到鋼琴手面前問：“你知道你的猴子偷了我的啤酒嗎?”鋼琴手回答說：“沒有，但是如果你能哼唱，我會爲你演奏的。”

　　經典英語笑話：

Traveling salesmen make their living visiting as many customers as possible. So speeding to get from one appointment to the next is not unheard-of. Which is how I got pulled over by a highway patrolman. "Don't you ever look at the speedometer?" the officer scolded. Before I knew it, the truth spilled from my mouth. "As fast as I was going," I admitted, "I was afraid to take my eyes off the road."

因爲旅行推銷員爲了謀生需要拜訪儘量多的客戶，所以超速飛車趕場對於他們來說也不是沒有過的事情。有一次我就因爲超速度行駛被一個公路巡警攔了下來。“你有沒有看過你的時速表?”那名警官責問。當我的回答一出口，我立刻後悔了，但已經太晚了。“車開得越來越快”，我如實地說，“我的眼睛得一直盯着前面，沒敢看別的”。

　　經典英語笑話：

Our manager at the restaurant where I worked was a much beloved, jovial man. But there was one subject you didn't dare discuss in front of him -- his height. or, should I say, his lack of day, he stormed through the door and announced angrily, "Someone just picked my pocket!" Most of my fellow waitresses and I were speechless, except for the one who blurted out, "How could anyone stoop so low?"

我們的餐廳經理是一位深受大家愛戴，和藹而又快樂的人。但在他面前有一件事不能提--他的身高。或者，我應該說，他是有點矮!一天，經理怒氣衝衝地撞門而入，高聲說，“有人拿了我的錢包!”

我和其她大部女招待都沒敢吱聲，但有人卻蹦出一句話：“哪有人能彎腰彎那麼低的啊”!

　　經典英語笑話：

I had fallen and dislocated my elbow, which made writing checks for my small business nearly impossible. I called my bank to explain that the signature on my checks would look odd due to my accident, and would they please horror them anyway.

"Okay," said the woman on the phone, "but you' 11 have to write a letter to the bank telling them that you are requesting this. "

我摔倒了，肘骨脫臼了。這使得我幾乎不能給我的小生意籤賬單了。我打電話給銀行解釋說由於事故，賬單上我的簽名看起來會有些古怪，並請求他們無論如何給予承兌。

“好的，”電話中的女子說，“但你必須給銀行寫封信，告訴他們你在作此項請求。”

　　經典英語笑話：

Napoleon was ill

Jack had gone to the university to study history, but at the end of his first year, his history professor failed him in his examinations, and he was told that he would have to leave the university. However, his father decided that he would go to see the professor to urge him to let Jack continue his studies the following year."He's a good boy," said Jack's father, "and if you let him pass this time, I'm sure he'll improve a lot next year and pass the examinations at the end of it really well.""No, no, that's quite impossible," replied the professor immediately. "Do you know, last month I asked him when Napoleon had died, he didn't know!""Please, sir, give him another chance," said Jack's father. "You see, I'm afraid we don't take any newspaper in our house, so none of us even know that Napoleon was ill."

拿破崙病了

傑克到一所大學去學歷史。第一學期結束時，歷史課教授沒讓他及格，校讓他退學。然而，傑克的父親決定去見教授，強烈要求讓傑克繼續來年的學業。“他是個好孩子，”傑克的父親說，“您要是讓他這次及格，我相信他明年會有很大進步，學期結束時，他一定會考好的。”“不，不，那不可能，”教授馬上回答，“你知道嗎?上個月我問他拿破崙什麼時候死的，他都不知道。”“先生，請再給他一次機會吧。”傑克的父親說，“你不知道，恐怕是因爲我們家沒有訂報紙，我們家的人連拿破崙病了都不知道。”

　　經典英語笑話：

A police stopped a motorist who was speeding on the street. "But officer," the man said, "I can explain.""Just be quiet," snapped the officer. "I'm going to put you in jail until the chief gets back.""But ,officer, I ….""I said to keep quiet! You are going to jail!"A few hours later, the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "You are lucky because the chief is at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back.""Are you sure?" answered the man in the cell. "I'm the groom."

大街上的一個超速駕駛者被警察攔住了。“但是警官”這個人說道，“我可以解釋的”。“保持安靜”，警察突然說道。“我將把你送往監獄，直到長官回來。“但是，警察，我……”。“我說過了保持安靜，你要到監獄了。”幾小時後，警察向監獄裏看了看說道“算你運氣好，因爲我們的長官正在他女兒的婚禮上。他將帶着一個愉快的心情回來的。”“你確定”在牢房裏的這個人說道。“我就是新郎呀”。

　　經典英語笑話：狗也知道這個諺語嗎?

The little boy did not like the look of the barking dog.

"It's all right," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: Barking dogs don't bite?"

"Ah, yes," answered the little boy. "I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?"

一個小男孩非常不喜歡狗狂叫的樣子。

“沒有關係，”一位先生“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道嗎?”

　　經典英語笑話：不是我的錯

It's not my fault

Mother (reprimanding訓斥，譴責 her small daughter): You mustn't pull the cat's tail.

Daughter: I'm only holding it, Mom. The cat's doing the pulling.

不是我的錯

媽媽(正教訓她的女兒)：你不該拽貓的尾巴。

女兒：媽，我只是握着貓尾巴，它自己在拽。