經典英語笑話爆笑
笑話是民族文化及社會生活中不可缺少的一環,從古至今都擁有廣大的受衆,深受人們喜愛。下面是本站小編精心收集的經典爆笑英語笑話，希望大家喜歡!
Paul was ambling through a crowded street fair when he decided to stop and sit at a Palm Reader's table.
保羅正在一條擁擠的街市上閒逛，他停下來，坐在了一個看掌紋人的桌子前。
Said the mysterious old woman, "For fifteen dollars, I can read your love line and tell your romantic future.”
這個神祕的老婦人說:“巧美元，我可以看出你的愛情線和你浪漫的未來。”
Paul readily agreed and the reader took one look at his open palm and said, "I can see that you have no girlfriend.”
保羅欣然地同意了，看掌紋的人看了一眼保羅的掌心說:“我知道你現在沒有女朋友。”
"That's true,” said Paul.
“對，”保羅說。
"Oh my goodness，you are extremely lonely, aren't you?"
“哦，我的天啊，你非常的孤獨，對嗎?”
"Yes，”Paul shamefully admitted. "That's amazing. Can you tell all of this from my love line?"
“對，”保羅害羞的承認了，“太神奇了，你從我的愛情線中看出了這麼多事情。”
"Love line? No, from the calluses and blisters.”
“愛情線?不，我是從你手上的繭子和水泡中看出來的。”
經典爆笑英語笑話篇二David St. John, 37，was the victim last week of what police say was a terrible mistake.
37歲的大衛·斯特·約翰，上週成了警察犯的一個大錯誤的犧牲品。
The two Hayward police officers used their batons to hit St. John, who they didn' t realize was blind，after mistaking his collapsible cane for an illegal martial arts weapon, said Lt. Mitchell Penn, the police department' s internal affairs officer.
警察署的內務警官米切爾·潘說，兩名看守警察用警棍打了約翰先生，因爲他們沒有注意到約翰是一位盲人，錯把他的摺疊柺杖當作了一種違法的兩節棍。
"It was a very regrettable incident,” Penn said Tuesday. "But from what I've seen so far it's not a case of overzealous officers. They had no idea he was blind-they were extremely upset when they found out.”
“這是一樁讓人非常抱歉的案子。”潘在星期二時說:“但從我們所分析的情況來看，這不是由於警員過於認真造成的，而是他們確實不知道他是盲人—當他們知道真實情況後，後悔末及。”
Field training officer Eric Ristram said St. John placed in his pants pocket what appeared to be a nunchaku, a martial arts weapon consisting of two round sticks of wood connect by a chain.
野外訓練軍官伊瑞克·瑞斯姆說:“約翰褲兜裏放着一個東西，看上去像是一根兩節棍，它是由兩個可旋轉的木棍組成的，中間被一條鏈連着。”
The officers thought the man could see their uniforms so they didn't identify themselves when they told St. John to hand over the contents of his pockets. St. John said later he thought he was about to be mugged.
警官在讓約翰交出兜裏的東西時，以爲約翰可以通過他制服來判斷他的身份，所以沒有出示證件，而約翰說他還以爲自己遭劫了呢。
經典爆笑英語笑話篇三A friend of mine claims this happened to a friend of hers:
我的一個朋友告訴我，這件事發生在她的一個朋友的身上。
She had a wedding to go to, and needed a wedding gift. Aha, thought she，I have that monogrammed silver tray from my wedding that I never use. I’11 just take it to a silversmith and have him remove my monogram and put hers on it. Voila, one cheap wedding present.
她要去參加一個婚禮，需要帶一份結婚禮物，她一想，“啊!有了，我結婚的時候收到了一個刻有名字的銀盤，我還沒有用過，我可以去找銀匠，讓他磨掉我的名字換上我朋友的名字，就是它了!一個實惠的結婚禮物。”
So she took it to the silversmith and asked him to remove her monogram and put the new one on. The silversmith took a look at the tray，shook his head，and said，, you can only do this so many times!”
於是她帶着銀盤去找銀匠，問他能不能磨掉上面的名字，換上一個新的。銀匠看了看盤子，搖了搖頭說:“夫人，你已經這麼做了無數次了吧。”
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