你的丈夫真的討厭你做這些事

It's a gorgeous day today and I should be in a sparking, dazzling mood, but I'm not. My kids are sick and I just want to nap, but I feel like there's a million and a hAlf things to do. I can't get motivated to do them, so instead of doing anything productive, I decided to ask my husband for a topic to write about.
今天天氣不錯，我應該心情愉悅、開心舒暢，但我並沒有。我的孩子生病了，而我只想眯一會兒，但我感覺還有很多的事情需要去做。我沒有動力去做這些事，所以我並沒有去做些有成效的事，而是決定和老公聊聊天，找一個可以寫作的話題。

And lucky for me, he had one just ready. As he lounged on (my!) chair in the office, he ticked off the following list of things that all husbands hate about their wives or partners and asked that I so lovingly share it with all of you. You're welcome.
幸運的是，他剛好有個話題。當他躺在我辦公室的椅子上時，他列舉了以下這些所有老公都討厭的關於他們老婆或另一半的事情，我很開心能和大家分享，不客氣哦。

1. Every time you call yourself fat
1. 每一次你說自己胖的時候

No, really. It gets really, really old. All we think about is how beautiful you are, all of the time, and even when we tell you and mean it, you still brush us off. And you know what? That doesn't feel good and eventually, I kind of want to stop telling you anymore. Because you don't believe me when I tell you how beautiful you are. But you are, for the record, really beautiful.
這是說真的。這句話真的是老掉牙了。我們一直都覺得你很美，甚至我們很認真的告訴你你很美時，你還是會讓我們掃興。你知道嗎？這種感覺並不好受，到最後，我就不太想再說你美了。因爲當我告訴你你很美的時候你並不相信我啊。但準確起見，你真的很美。

2. How much pressure you put on yourself
2. 你給自己施加太多的壓力

You don't need to go to every single school event and you don't need to do everything for the kids. I don't really know how to tell you this in a way that won't hurt your feelings, but you put so much pressure on yourself that doesn't need to be there. You don't need to go to every single school event and you don't need to do everything for the kids. You just don't.
你根本不需要參加學校舉行的所有活動，你也不需要爲孩子做每一件事。我不知道怎麼跟你說纔會讓你不難過，但你給自己施加太多不必要的壓力了。你根本不需要參加學校舉行的所有活動，你也不需要爲孩子做每一件事。你就是不需要。

3. How you think you need to be perfect 24/7
3. 你覺得自己應該一整天都處於完美狀態

When have I ever really been grossed out by you? Think about it. I don't care if you stop shaving or smell bad or whatever. I really don't. Your period stuff does not bother me, I promise. I don't understand why you think you need to be perfect all of the time. It's OK to just be human, you know?
我有沒有嫌棄過你？仔細回想回想。如果你不刮腿毛或聞起來有味兒或邋遢，我都不在乎。我真的不在乎。你的姨媽巾也不會讓我感到困擾。我真的不理解爲什麼你覺得自己需要時時刻刻保持完美。有點人情味是沒有問題的，你知道嗎？