名著精讀:《悉達多》 輪迴(3)

Siddhartha, slowly, getting a bit denser every day, a bit murkier every month, a bit heavier every year. As a new dress becomes old in time, loses its beautiful colour in time, gets stains, gets wrinkles, gets worn off at the seams, and starts to show threadbare spots here and there, thus Siddhartha's new life, which he had started after his separation from Govinda, had grown old, lost colour and splendour as the years passed by, was gathering wrinkles and stains, and hidden at bottom, already showing its ugliness here and there, disappointment and disgust were waiting. Siddhartha did not notice it. He only noticed that this bright and reliable voice inside of him, which had awoken in him at that time and had ever guided him in his best times, had become silent.

He had been captured by the world, by lust, covetousness, sloth, and finally also by that vice which he had used to despise and mock the most as the most foolish one of all vices: greed. Property, possessions, and riches also had finally captured him; they were no longer a game and trifles to him, had become a shackle and a burden. On a strange and devious way, Siddhartha had gotten into this final and most base of all dependencies, by means of the game of dice. It was since that time, when he had stopped being a Samana in his heart, that Siddhartha began to play the game for money and precious things, which he at other times only joined with a smile and casually as a custom of the childlike people, with an increasing rage and passion.

疲乏就像一道紗幕，一層薄薄的霧氣，慢慢地降臨到席特哈爾塔身上，每天都變厚一點，每月都變混一點，每年都變重一點。就像一件新衣隨着時間變舊，隨着時間失去鮮豔的色彩，出現斑點，出現皺褶，衣邊磨損，有些地方開始出現破綻那樣，席特哈爾塔與戈文達分手後開始的新年生活也變舊了，隨着流逝的歲月失去了色彩與光澤，積滿了皺褶和斑點，失望和厭惡已然產生，藏在心底，有時已經醜惡地露了出來。席特哈爾塔沒有察覺。他只是發現，自己內心那種響亮的胸有成竹的聲音，那種曾經在他心裏甦醒並且在他的光輝歲月裏時時引導他的聲音，如今變得悄然沉默了。

世俗俘虜了他，還有享樂、好色和懶散，最後是他始終認爲愚蠢透頂的最瞧不起並加以譏誚的惡習——貪婪。財產、家業和富有最終也俘虜了他，對於他不再是遊戲和小玩藝，而是變成了鎖鏈和負擔。席特哈爾塔是通過一條不尋常的奸詐途徑，也就是通過擲骰子賭博，陷入這最後、最可恥的歧途的。從他心裏不願再當沙門的時候起，席特哈爾塔就開始了旨在贏錢贏珠寶的賭博。往常，他只是當作庸人的習俗笑着漫不經心地參與，如今，他玩起來賭癮越來越大了。