和同事言歸於好 就這麼4步輕鬆搞定

If you've spent enough time in the workforce, you almost certainly have a trail of damaged professional relationships behind you. That doesn't mean you're a bad manager or employee; it's simply a fact that some people don't get along, and when we have to rely on each other (to finish the report, to execute the campaign, to close the deal), there are bound to be crossed wires and disappointments.

Here's how to buck up and repair a professional relationship that's gone off the rails.

下面我們看看有哪些方法可以改善偏離了的職業關係吧。

First, it's important to recognize that making the effort is worthwhile.

首先，你得意識到努力的重要性。

Obviously it'll ratchet tension down at the office if you're not glaring at your colleague every time they enter the room. But resolving this tension will actually aid your own productivity. You can eliminate unresolved matters that nag at your mind.

很明顯，只要你不是每次在同事們進入辦公室的時候盯着他們的話，氣氛就不會這麼緊張。不過，若你能夠解決這種緊張氣氛，這的確能夠大大提高自己的創造力。甚至還可以解決讓你糾結已久的工作。

Next, recognize your own culpability.

接着是，承認自己的過失

It's easy to demonize your colleague. But you're almost certainly contributing to the dynamic in some way, as well. If you think your colleague is too quiet, you may be filling up the airtime in meetings, which encourages them to become even quieter. If you think he's too lax with details, you may start micromanaging him so much. To get anywhere, you have to understand your role in the situation.

把責任歸咎於同事們很容易，但是你也很大程度上促使了這件事的發生。如果你覺得同事們太安靜，你還在會議期間把行程排得滿滿的，這樣只會讓他們更沉默。如果你認爲同事們不注重細節，你就會開始對他們吹毛求疵。不管怎樣，你應該瞭解自己在不同情況下的角色和作用。

Now it's time to press reset.

然後便是重置規則。

If you unilaterally "decide" you're going to improve your relationship with your colleague, you're likely to be disappointed quickly. The moment they fail to respond to a positive overture or display an irritating behavior, you may conclude that your effort was wasted. Instead, try to make them a partner in your effort.

如果你只是單方面"決定"要修補與同事之間的關係，也許你會更失望。當你發現他們並沒有積極地迴應你或者表現出不耐煩的態度，你就有可能草率地認爲自己的努力白費了。相反，你應該通過努力讓他們成爲自己的夥伴，這樣緊張的工作關係才得以緩解。

Finally, you need to change the dynamic.

最後，你還得改變動力的方向。

Even the best of intentions – including an agreement with your colleague to turn over a new leaf – can quickly disintegrate if you fall back into your old patterns. To write down a transcript of what was said by each party, so you can begin to see patterns – where you were pushing and she was pulling. Over time, it's likely that you'll be able to better grasp the big picture of how you're relating to each other and areas where you can try something different.

即使是最好的意圖——包括與同事執行協議的下一步，如果你重蹈覆轍的話，之前的努力還只是無用功。記下每一個小組的發言，你就可以瞭解他們的思維模式——你就知道該從何下手。久而久之，你就能形成一個與大部分人相處的畫面，並且你想嘗試的方向也會有所不同。

We often imagine that our relationships are permanent and fixed – I don't get along with him because he's a control freak, and that's not likely to change. But we underestimate ourselves, and each other. It's true that you can't give your colleagues a personality transplant and turn them into entirely different people; we all have natural tendencies that emerge. But clearly understanding the dynamics of the relationship – and making changes to what's not working – can lead to markedly more positive results.

我們常常都會想當然的認爲人際關係是永久固定的——我不與他打交道是因爲他是一個控制狂，並且很難改變。但是我們低估了自己的能力，還有別人的能力。沒錯，你不能改變同事的個性，但是我們可以有這種努力的意願。要清楚瞭解關係的動態發展，並且嘗試解決無法改變的情況，這樣纔會得到比較滿意的效果。

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