大學英語作文名師點評與評析
從小學記錄到大學，我們的英語作文寫作簿滿滿的都是回憶。下面是本站小編給大家整理的大學英語作文名師點評，供大家參閱!
There has long been a view among Chinese that "Spare the rod, spoil the child". How did this point form and spread through China's long history may cause my curiosity. However,what really interests me is whether this viewpoint is still worthy of adoption in our modern society.
For one thing, such "rod using" education mode has no possibility of achieving the goal of education:the forming of a child's judgment on right and wrong as well as the developing of a child's self-control ability. Children are always inquisitive and destructive, tearing up books, throwing down vases and etc,which will make you feel rather angry. Punish them or explain to them, you are faced up with a choice. In fact, whichever method you choose, it will be effective at that time. The only difference is that the former one works on children's fear of penalty and the latter one on their realization of mistakes. Fears disappearing quickly, children are likely to repeat their wrong activities if you only punish them. Once learning why they are wrong and knowing what is allowed and what is banned, the children may avoid making the same mistakes in the future. And little by little,children's judging ability will be developed. So in the long run,pointing out the mistakes and what is permitted seem more wise.
Similarly, such "penalty emphasizing" education mode,which somewhat seems a bit violent, harms children's growth and the forming of their characters. "Many adults' mental diseases have close relationship with their childhood's penalty", psychiatrists say on a large number of researches. Furthermore,such education mode may result in children's rebellious temperaments or too timid and weak characters. Additionally, this mode will widen the gap between two generations. With all these unexpected results, we would better think deeply over this education mode.
happens.
Making friends, in some sense, resembles enjoying music. I never choose bright music whenever I am blue, because the sentimental melody soothes my tense nerve and assures me that I am understood and cared and not alone in this toughest time, and because I will feel strengthened when someone can grieve at my grief.
簡 評
昔日好友各奔前程，不同的背景和經歷改變着彼此，這份友誼還能和從前一樣嗎?本文很自然地從回憶親身經歷說起，既而提出論點：真正的友誼應該以共同的志向、愛好、觀點爲依託，以彼此的瞭解、信任、坦誠和無私爲支柱。所以作者認爲，各方面與自己效和有益於孩子身心健康的教育方式。具體如何，沒有指明，但其觀點已隱含於文中，即第二段結尾：向孩子指出錯誤所在及什麼應該做什麼不應該做。該文用較短的篇幅成功地表達了反對棍棒教育的觀點，是一篇好文章。作者比較注意詞語的多樣性，如對此教育方式分別使用棍棒教育(rod using)和強調懲罰(penalty emphasizing)表示，生動形象。
(點評教師：何靜)
大學英語作文名師點評：Adversity Often Leads to ProsperityEverybody wants to lead a successful life. But a number of people failed to realize their ambitions or their personal goals though they had dreamed of it throughout their whole lives. In order to succeed, one is required to have such personal qualities as diligence, persistence, intelligence, patience and so on. Besides them, I hold adversity is also one of the key factors and that it often leads to prosperity.
The seemingly mistaken conclusion reveals the common phcnomenon, People in adversity tend to express their full range of potential and actualize their own personal worth the very aim of a human life. And it is also supported by lots of successful people's experiences both in old days and nowadays, both at home and abroad.
During the Period of Chunqiu, the Emperor of the Yue,Gou Jian, was defeated by the Wu and trapped in prison. Adversity stimulated him to revenge instead of discouraged him. Gou Jian hanged a gall and tasted it before sleep every day so as to keep the humiliation and revenge always in mind. Owing to his undefeated qualities and persistent struggle, he defeated the Wu and drew himself from adversity to prosperity in the end.
David Beckham, the captain of the English Soccer Team,was famous for his fascinating technique as well as his handsome appearance. He led England to defeat Argentina as a national revenge in the latest Korea Japan World Cup and he was regarded to be one of the five greatest football players in the world by Brazilian football star Robert Carlos. However, ten years ago, he was only an ordinary young player and was put in the second team of Man Utd. Once he was even lent to another team in English A by Ferguson and it seemed that he would be abandoned as burden of his club someday. Beckham was not defeated by all the difficulties and he was sensible enough to make full use of adversity as an agent to push himself forward. He studied the combat, increased his stamina and strength, improved the technique and dribbling and trained the skill of passing and free kicking. As a result of his persistent and painstaking training, beginning with the famous wonderful goal from the centre circle in 1996, he brought himself a hot prospect.
The important role that adversity plays in one's success can also be demonstrated by another example of a Chinese student An Jinpeng. An Jinpeng was born in a poverty stricken family,and his father was seriously ill, so his mother had to do all the farm work. Though poor, his parents were sensible enough to keep him in school and they had to borrow money from relatives and friends. In school, though helped by his classmates and teachers, An Jinpeng was too poor to live normally compared to most students. Instead of delicious meals, he had his rice with salt every day; whenever there were any trips organized by his class, he had to stay in his dormitory. In winter, having little money to buy new clothes to keep himself warm, he had to stay in bed to study. He did not give up and persist in studying hard in order to actualize his goal; win the gold medal in the coming international maths contest. But his persistence did not bring him success at once. Before long, his father died and the condition of his family became worse. His mother even sold out their farm cattle and did their work herself instead. Bitter in heart and moved by his mother, An Jinpeng learned to face the adversity in a more mature way. He accepted adversity, valued it, utilized it and defeated it. After countless days of painstaking studying and training, he got an amazing full mark! When asked what was the key factor that brought him the enormous success,he referred to his mother's word, Adversity is a "school" and it is more valuable than any other university. As Gou Jian, David Beckham and An Jinpeng, a number of successful people do owe their success to adversity. But such qualities as diligence, persistence and so forth should also be valued in one's these qualities, accept adversity, value it, utilize it and defeat it, and you are sure to bring yourself hot prosperity.
簡 評
本文主要觀點是逆境是成功的關鍵因素之一。作者首先明確表明自己的觀點，認爲人在處於逆境中時會充分發揮潛力並最終實現人生目標。文章的主體部分是三個例子，涵蓋古今中外：中國春秋時越王勾踐，英國足球明星貝克漢姆，以及一箇中國大學生的故事。他們的共同點是：身處逆境甚至絕境，但自強不患，努力拼搏，終於實現目標，這三個例子都比較典型，特別是安金鵬的故事，作者娓娓道來，十分感人，有力地證明了作者論點。文章是總—分—總結構，比較簡煉。當然，不足之處是，只分析了逆境的正面作用，未談及其對當事人可能的消極影響，且全篇都是例子，論述較少，令人感覺不夠全面。
(點評教師：何靜)
大學英語作文名師點評：Adversity and ProsperityPeople tend to complain, "Why am I not a president but a most ordinary clerk?" "Why am I not a millionaire who doesn't have to work desperately with such a poor salary?" or "Why can't I invent something to change people's life and carve a place or myself in history?" The answer is somewhat simple: their ives are going too smooth. In other words, they have never ndergone the true adversity which prosperity often has its roots in.
Adversity often leads to prosperity. Painful and difficult as it is, adversity requires courage to face, great courage that not all people have. Thus, when confronted by adversity, some people sink and others overcome it with constant painstaking struggle. The latter will henceforth have intense passion to achieve their goals and tremendous determination to overwhelm any difficulties on their way to the destination, for they believe the worst has gone by. Jiacheng Lee, who is said to be the wealthiest person in China, had suffered a lot before he made his fortune. Born in a small family, he had to earn a living to support his family without finishing his junior school study. He peddled near a plastic factory, selling plastic flowers he himself made. Gradually his hard work enabled him to save up enough money to run a real business. From then on, he often defeated his opponents by investing riskily in some huge projects, which rewarded him with considerable profits. When asked about reasons for such tour age, Jiacheng Lee said laconically, "If I had failed, I would have at least gone back to be a peddler again. I would lose nothing."It is obvious that his success grows from the fertile soil of adversity of his early years.
On the contrary, those who haven't experienced the adversity are to some extent content with the present life, and they aren't determined to break up these pleasant days to venture into some unknown field. Therefore, they mostly couldn't bring their potential into full play. But it doesn't mean that none of the people living in happiness can succeed. Bill Gates, another millionaire, has a much more fortunate experience though. But besides his ability and his sharp eye for chances, another factor also explains his success a sense of threatened. He knows clearly that he will be eliminated in the fierce competition if he slows down his pace of innovation. This threat makes him think as in adversity at least not in a pleasant resting place. His story also shows that prosperity and adversity, in a sense, are inter wined.
In adversity, while pessimists think there comes the end of the world and lose all hope, optimists remain cheerful. They will never be blinded by their pain, they know hope is there within,they keep struggling, and at last they will reach prosperity.
簡 評
本文論述了困境與成功的關係，最大的特點在於舉了名人成功經歷爲例，成功地闡明瞭以下觀點：成功常常來自逆境。
李嘉誠是個典型的例子：自小家境貧寒，輟學做小販維持家用，以此積蓄的原始資本開辦自己的公司，用戰略性、高風險的投資，獲得了豐厚回報，終於成爲最富有的華人。作者引用李嘉誠的話解釋其商業眼光和勇氣的來源：“即使失敗，不過重做小販，什麼都未失去”，正是這種輕鬆的心態導致其成功。當然，作者也認爲生活中沒有經歷逆境者也可能成功，並舉了比爾.蓋茨的例子：蓋茨時刻提醒自己，如停止創新就會在殘酷的競爭中落敗，即成功者即使未親歷逆境，卻也會時刻有一種危機意識。作者通過這種引申，更深入地表明瞭其觀點：成功和逆境總是相伴而行的。最後一段照應全文：在困境中，悲觀者認爲世界末日來臨，而樂觀者不會被痛苦嚇倒，他們看到希望，努力爭取，並最終成功，精闢地總結了自己的論點。
(點評教師：何靜)
