70後父母推薦給孩子的十部電影

Somehow, I am 39. I am 39, even though I still feel like I am maybe 17 and I still look around for thereal "grown-ups." As I stare down 40 and gear up for another phase of life, I find myself going back to the things that comforted me when I really was a teenager, and TV and movies were both very big parts of growing up for me in the '80s and early '90s. I cut my teeth on old school Sesame Street and The Electric Company, I grew up with the Cosby Show and Family Ties and later 90210, and the movies I watched over and over starred people like Molly Ringwald, Andrew McCarthy, Ethan Hawke and a whole lot of hairspray. Recently, I realized -- with some amusement -- that a few of the lessons I am trying to teach my kids didn't come from my parents or from school. Instead, they came from scenes in those movies that I can still recite in my mind:

不知不覺我已三十九歲了，我三十九了，儘管有時候我以爲自己還是十七歲，甚至還把年長的人看做“大人”。我等待着四十歲的來臨，準備好進入人生另一個階段，這時我卻開始懷念起少年時的事物來了，它們曾給我以慰藉。上世紀八九十年代，我尚年幼，青春歲月都由電視和電影伴我渡過。孩提時期，我愛看《芝麻街》（Sesame Street）和《電力公司》（The Electric Company），然後是《考斯比一家》（Cosby Show），《家族的誕生》（Family Ties）以及後來的《比佛利山莊90210號》（90210），這三部電視劇則一路伴我成長。這些經典的影片也捧紅了不少明星，例如莫利·林沃德（Molly Ringwald），安德魯·麥卡錫（Andrew McCarthy），伊桑·霍克（ Ethan Hawke ）等等。年歲漸長，我才驚奇地發現學校的老師和家長並沒有教會我多少經驗，反倒是那些從小看到大的影片使我受益匪淺，種種人生意義我都從中學得，至今仍沒有忘記，我甚至還想要告訴我的孩子。

1. Each of us is a brain, an athlete, a basket case, a princess and a criminal. (The Breakfast Club)

1.我們每個人都是書呆子、運動員、神經病、公主和罪犯的集合體。電影：《早餐俱樂部（The Breakfast Club）

Even in sixth grade, my oldest is starting to classify himself and his friends. I did the same thing at his age; I know how it goes in middle and high school. But I try to remind him that everyone he meets has so much going on behind the façade he sees in the hallways at school -- that everyone is fighting a hard battle of some sort, and that no person fits neatly inside a simple label. It's a lesson I learn over and over again, even as an adult. In the end, as Patrick Dempsey's "geek turned chic" says in another favorite, Can't Buy Me Love: "Nerds, jocks. My side, your side... It's hard enough just trying to be yourself."

我的大兒子在六年級的時候就開始給同學分類。當年我也這麼幹過；中學時期，青少年總是渴望標新立異，脫穎而出。但是我還是試圖告訴他，學校裏的每個人都有不爲人知的另一面——每個人都有難處，不能輕易爲他人貼上標籤。在今後的生活中，我反覆印證了這一點。此外，在電影《愛情買賣》（Can't Buy Me Love）中 ，帕特里克·德姆西（Patrick Dempsey）扮演的角色經歷種種，最後由“怪胎”變成了“帥哥”，坦言道“運動健將，蠢貨。你來我往……做自己太難了。”這部電影我也很喜歡。2. The world is full of guys. Don't be a guy; be a man. (Say Anything)

2.這世界上到處都是男的。做個男人，別就當個男的。（電影《情到深處》）

In high school, my main goal in life was to be average. I didn't want to stand out; I wanted to blend. I think most teenagers do, as standing out is perceived as a bad thing too often at that age. But one thing I definitely want my boys and my daughter to know is that the world is, indeed, full of guys, as Lili Taylor's character states to John Cusack's Lloyd. I am trying to teach my children to strive for more than average, not to be afraid to be exceptional. I want them to do the right and genuine thing, even when it's harder, or even when it leaves them vulnerable. I hope they have standing-in-the-rain-with-boombox moments of their own someday.

高中時，我只想做個普通人。我不再成天想着要脫穎而出；我選擇混入人羣，掩藏自己。我相信不少青少年也有過這種心理，因爲在那個年紀，大家都很排斥標新立異。但我想讓我的兒子女兒知道這樣一個事實：電影中莉莉·泰勒（Lili Taylor）扮演的角色曾對約翰·庫薩克（John Cusack）扮演的勞埃德（Lloyd）說道，我努力得教導我的孩子，教他們不做普通人，教他們勇於突破。我希望他們遵循自己的內心生活，即使這條人生路困難重重，即使這樣做等於把自己置於風口浪尖。我仍希望他們有一天能拿着收音機站在風雨中。3. Your mom and dad were young and clueless and angst-ridden once, too. (Back to the Future)

3.你的爸爸媽媽也曾年少無知，焦慮不安。電影《回到未來》）（Back to the Future）

It was something of a revelation for me when I saw Michael J. Fox's Marty McFly interact with his parents as awkward teenagers in Back to the Future. As Marty observes his dad's teenage cluelessness, he says, "It's a wonder I was even born." Part of my job, I feel, is to allow my children to know that I was in their shoes once, and I still don't know everything... but I know more than they do. For now. OK, maybe not when it comes to new math, but still.

當年我觀看這部電影，看到邁克爾·J·福克斯（Michael J. Fox）扮演的馬丁·麥克弗萊（Marty McFly ）回到過去，同十幾歲時的雙親交流時，不禁有所頓悟，馬丁看到父親的窘態，忍不住說道：“他能追到我媽，我還能出生真是個奇蹟。”而我作爲一個父親，我覺得，有必要讓我的孩子知道，我也曾像他們一樣經歷過種種喜樂困苦，但是我仍不能徹底頓悟……但是我還是比他們懂得多 。現在嘛，翻開新版課本讓我解數學題我可能做不出，但是我還是比他們懂得多。4. Sometimes awesome people might "live to like you," and you might not feel the same way. That's OK. (Pretty in Pink)

4. 有時，可能會有優秀的人說“我活着就是爲了愛你”，但你卻並不愛他們，那也沒關係。電影《紅粉佳人》（Pretty in Pink）

I loved Andrew McCarthy. I loved him even more when Blane really did want Andie back and sought her out at the prom. But I also struggled with the fact that I loved Jon Cryer's Duckie, too -- that his adoration for Andie seemed so simple and easy and loyal in comparison. Is it OK to pick the Blanes of the world over the Duckies? I think sometimes it is, especially when you are young and still learning about yourself and relationships. Inevitably, people are going to like my children that my children might not like back in the the same way, and vice versa. The trick, then, is to teach my children to treat people with respect and care, even if they can't return the same level of feeling. After all, you can't love someone back out of obligation. That's not the way it works.

我崇拜安德魯·麥卡錫（Andrew McCarthy）。電影《紅粉佳人》里布萊恩（Blane）期盼着安迪（Andie）能夠回來，他目光殷切，在舞會中搜尋着安迪的身影，這段表演十分真實，我更喜歡他了。但是我也喜歡喬恩·克萊爾（Jon Cryer）扮演的達奇（Duckie）——相比之下，他對安迪的愛更單純，更純粹，更忠誠。安迪最終選擇了布萊恩而非達奇，她的選擇正確嗎？我想，在某種條件下，特別是在你尚年輕，還沒能瞭解自己，還沒理清身邊人的關係時，這種選擇是正確的。事實往往如此，有人會愛上我的孩子，而他們卻不打算迴應，反過來也是一樣。我想通過這部電影告訴他們一個道理：與人交往時，即便不能迴應同樣的感情，也應給予他們應有的尊重。總之，你不能出於責任義務而接受你不愛的人，這不是愛情。5. No matter what anybody tells you, words and ideas can change the world. (Dead Poets Society)

5.不管別人是怎麼跟你說的，我要告訴你的是，語言與思想具有改變世界的力量。電影《死亡詩社》 （Dead Poets Society）

We can bemoan the dominance of the Interwebz and social media in modern life all we want. We can justifiably grieve the fall of the local bookstore. The truth is, though, that ideas and words are still -- maybe even more than ever -- powerful tools for change; they just travel (quickly) in a different format. I want my children to remember the power of their words, especially when they give them over to the Internet. Robin Williams's John Keating was not teaching his students about social media, but I am. The message stays the same. Words and ideas can change the world, and I want mine -- and my children's -- to change it for the better.

我們往往會抱怨互聯網和社交媒體佔據了生活的全部，我們也會爲傳統書店的衰落感到痛心。但事實是，文字和思想——也許更甚從前——仍有改變世界的力量；他們只是（飛速）演化成了不同的形式。我希望我的孩子能意識到自己說過的話的重要性，特別是在網上發佈言論時。羅賓·威廉姆斯（Robin Williams）扮演的約翰·基廷（John Keating）老師並沒有和學生談及社交媒體的影響力，但是我卻和我的孩子說過。但我們所要表達的意思是一樣的：文字與思想具有改變世界的力量，我希望我的孩子——和他們的後輩——能利用好這一點，讓世界變得更美好。6. Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it. (Ferris Bueller's Day Off)

6.人生太匆匆。你若不偶爾停下來看看周圍，就會錯過很多風景！電影《春天不是讀書天》（Ferris Bueller's Day）

When I was driving my oldest son to school this morning, he made a remark about how I "always" make a big deal out of his mistakes and bad choices at school and, he feels, not enough of a big deal about the things he does well every day. He might have a point: I have high expectations, and it freaks me out a little when he strays off-path, especially now that he is getting older and the stakes are a little higher. But I do want him to break the rules sometimes. I want him to skip school every once in a blue moon, go on adventures with his friends, dance and sing Beatles songs in a parade. I admit that I can be a little uptight about school, but I want my kids to step outside the box of our days sometimes and, honestly, I need to do that more often too. Anyone know where I can find a 1961 Ferrari 250 GT California Spyder?

今天早晨，我開車送大兒子去學校，他開口問我爲何“總是”誇大他在學校裏犯的錯和做的錯誤的決定，而不關注他每天取得的成績。他說對了一點：我對他的期望過高，所以他一有變壞的傾向，我就神經緊張，特別是隨着他日漸長大，犯錯付出的代價也將更大。但是有時候我也希望他能打破常規，活得自由自在。我希望他能難得翹一次課，和朋友去探一次險，唱着披頭士（Beatles）的歌參加一次遊行。我承認，我很在意他在學校的表現，但是我也希望我的孩子們偶爾能跳出常規的生活，老實說，我自己也需要擺脫束縛，釋放壓力。有誰知道哪能弄到輛法拉利250 GT 1961敞篷款？10. Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line. (The Princess Bride)

10.死神來臨時，別與西西里島人對抗。電影《公主新娘》（The Princess Bride）

This one speaks for itself, yes?

有這句話就夠了，不是嗎？

7. Say "bless you" when someone sneezes. (Singles)

7.當別人打噴嚏的時候，對他說“上帝保佑你”。電影《單身一族》 （Singles）

One of my favorite scenes in Cameron Crowe'sSingleswas when Bridget Fonda's character bemoans lowering her standards for her love interests. She had started out looking for someone with "looks, security, caring, someone who has their own place, someone who says, 'bless you' or 'Gesundheit' when I sneeze, someone who likes the same things as me but not exactly, and someone who loves me." She had since "scaled it down" to "someone who says 'Gesundheit' when I sneeze, although I prefer 'bless you.' It's nicer." It might sound funny, but I have found myself consciously thinking of this line when I sneeze in front of my boys. I always prompt them to say "bless you," because it's just a nice thing to do -- and it is a reminder to be polite and considerate in an age when our noses are too often buried in our smartphone screens.

電影《單身貴族》由導演卡梅倫·克羅（Cameron Crowe）執導， 布里吉特·芳達（Bridget Fonda）扮演的珍妮抱怨自己找對象的標準降低了。起初，她要求那個人要“外表英俊，有安全感，待人體貼，有地位，當我打噴嚏時，會說'上帝保佑你'或是'祝你健康'，和我有相似的興趣愛好，但又不完全相同，還有，他要愛我。”後來，她“降低了標準”：“我打噴嚏時，他也可以說'祝你健康'，雖然我更喜歡'上帝保佑你'。”這聽起來很好笑，但我發現我當着孩子的面打噴嚏時，忍不住會想起這句臺詞。再遇到這種情況，我總是督促他們說“上帝保佑你”，因爲這句話能爲你加分——如今人人都低頭看智能手機，我們確實需要這句話來督促自己禮貌處事。8. We are all Goonies. (The Goonies)

8.我們都是小精靈。電影《七寶奇謀》（The Goonies）

The Goonies, complete with its Cyndi Lauper anthem, was one of the movies I loved in my own awkward tweenhood. My favorite line is actually at the end, when the kids are reunited with their parents and Data's father tells him, "You are my best invention." We are all Goonies, and we are all valuable and loved. I hope my children know that no matter who they are, no matter how they show their inner Goonie-ness, they are the most important things to me in the world, my "best inventions."

《七寶奇謀》的主題曲由辛蒂·勞帕（Cyndi Lauper）演唱，這部電影點亮了我青澀的少年時期。影片結尾時，孩子們終於與父母團聚，德塔（Data）的父親告訴他“你是我最了不起的作品。”這是我最喜歡的臺詞。我們都是小精靈，我們十分寶貴，被人呵護。我希望我的孩子能明白，不管他們長成什麼樣，不管他們內心如何，對我而言，他們都是我的至寶，我“最了不起的作品”。9. I'll be right here. (E.T.: The Extraterrestrial)

9.我與你同在。電影《E.T.外星人》（E.T.: The Extraterrestrial）

When I first saw the movie theater, I cried hard when he had to leave Elliott. That kind of separation, that permanency of loss was not something I was prepared to handle yet. But when the alien pointed his long, spindly finger into Elliott's chest and said, "I'll... be... right... here," I believed him. That concept -- that we can hold each other in our hearts and transcend time and space -- is a big one for even adults to grasp. When illustrated by a rubbery brown alien with an illuminated finger, it seems more plausible somehow. Ironically.

我第一次看這部電影是在電影院裏，電影放到外星人不得不離開艾略特（Elliott）時，我仍不住失聲痛哭。那種離別的痛苦與失落，年少的我自覺擔負不起。但是當外星人伸出細長的手指，輕敲艾略特的胸膛，吐露心聲“我…與你…同在”，我相信了。我相信——我們能將彼此藏在心裏，這份真情足以跨越時空——即使是成年人也難以體會。諷刺的是，導演讓一個棕色皮膚的外星人作了電影主角，他伸出手指，詮釋了我們難以理解的真情，卻更具有可信度。