初中生經典英文笑話大全

冷笑話是近幾年纔出現的新興語言現象，它以網絡爲主要的傳播方式。它是幽默的一種特殊的表現形式，主要流傳於網頁，微博，貼吧等。小編精心收集了初中生經典英文笑話，供大家欣賞學習!

　　初中生經典英文笑話：Got a headache

It was a warm, sunny Sunday, so a man and his wife decided to take in the zoo. They spent the day, and at closing time they walked past the gorilla cage, and the man noticed the gorilla looking at his wife.

"That gorilla is getting excited just looking at your tits," he said. "Why don't you take your blouse off and we'll see what he does?"

At first she declined. But finally persuaded by her husband, she took off her blouse and bra.

The gorilla went nuts. He started grunting and jumping up and down.

"Hey," the husband said, "let's really blow his mind. Take off all your clothes and we'll see what he does."

Again she said no and again he persuaded her.

This time the ape really went bananas! He climbed up and down the bars, did flips, ran around in circles and tossed his food all over the cage.

The husband went over to the cage, opened the door and pushed his wife in. "Now," said the husband with an evil smile, "tell HIM you have a headache!"

　　初中生經典英文笑話：The Slow Racehorse

The racehorse owner was annoyed with the running of his horse at the race.

He turned on the jockey.

"Flaherty, could you not have raced faster?"

"Sure I could have, but you know we are supposed to stay on the horse."

　　初中生經典英文笑話：The Mink Coat

A man walks into a very posh Rodeo Drive furrier with a gorgeous blonde on his arm.

"Show the lady your finest mink!" the fellow exclaims. So the owner of the

shop goes in the back and comes out with an absolutely gorgeous full-length coat.

As the lady tries it on, the furrier sidles up to the guy and discreetly

whispers,

"Ah, sir, that particular fur goes for

$65,000."

"No problem! I'll write you a check!"

"Very good, sir." says the shop owner.

"Today is Saturday. You may come by on Monday to pick it up, after the check has cleared."

So the man and the woman leave. On Monday, the fellow returns. The store owner isoutraged: "How dare you

show your face in here?! There wasn't a single penny in your checking account!!"

"I just had to come by," grinned the guy, "to thank you for the most wonderful weekend of my life!"

　　初中生經典英文笑話：The Biker's Dog

A highly timid little man, ventured into a biker bar in the Bronx and clearing his throat asked, "Um, err, which of you gentlemen owns the Doberman tied outside to the parking meter?" A giant of a man, wearing biker leathers, his body hair growing out through the seams, turned slowly on his stool, looked down at the quivering little man and said, "It's my dog. Why?"

"Well," squeaked the little man, obviously very nervous, "I believe my dog just killed it, sir." "What?" roared the big man in disbelief. "What in the hell kind of dog do you have?" "Sir," answered the little man, "it's a little four week old female puppy." "Bull!" roared the biker, "how could your puppy kill my Doberman?" "It appears that your dog choked on her, sir."

　　初中生經典英文笑話：My Dog Spot

John got off the elevator on the 50th floor and nervously knocked on his blind date's door. She opened it and was as beautiful and charming as everyone had said.

"I'll be ready in a few minutes," she said. "Why don't you play with Spot, my dog, while you're waiting? He does wonderful tricks. He rolls over, shakes hands, sits up and if you make ahoop with your arms, he'll jump through."

The dog followed John onto the balcony and started rolling over. John made a hoop with his arms and Spot jumped through--over the balcony railing. Just then John's date walked out.

"Isn't Spot the cutest, happiest dog you've ever seen?"

"To tell the the truth, " he replied, "Spot seemed a little depressed to me!"

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