關於經典英語笑話大全
笑話作爲一種特殊的交際策略，它能夠幫助人們緩解尷尬的氣氛，從而保持和諧的人際關係。下面是本站小編整理的關於經典英語笑話，歡迎閱讀!
My Boss and I When I take a long time, I am slow. When my boss takes a long time, he is thorough. When I don't do it, I am lazy. When my boss doesn't do it, he is too busy. When I do something without being told, I am trying to be smart. When my boss does the same, that is initiative. When I please my boss, I am ass-kissing. When my boss pleases his boss, he is co-operating. I do good, my boss never remembers. When I do wrong, he never forgets.
我做事情花了長時間，是效率低; 老闆做事情花了長時間，是深思熟慮。 我沒有做完事情，是懶惰; 老闆沒有做完事情，是太繁忙。 沒有人告訴我的事情我做了，是自作聰明; 老闆做了同樣的事情，是首創。 我取悅老闆，是獻媚; 老闆取悅他的老闆，是合作。 我幹得好，老闆從來不會想起; 我幹得不好，老闆從來不會忘記。
關於經典英語笑話篇二An Exceptional Phenomenon(罕見)
4-year-old Begin and his cousin scrambled (攀爬，爭搶) for toys. His mum told him: “ You are older brother because you’re older than your (cousin) sister. You should give ground to her. ” Begin thought a little but maintained(堅持) : “ My sister must give ground to me when she grows older than I.” His uncle around overheard and said : “Such a thing hardly occurs.”
四歲的貝京和小妹妹爭玩具。媽媽對他說：“你大，你是哥哥，要讓着小妹妹點兒。” 貝京想了想，堅持說：“等妹妹長得比我大了，她也得讓着我。”姨夫在一旁聽了說：“這種情況相當罕見。
關於經典英語笑話篇三Three Turtles 三隻烏龜
Three turtles decided to have a cup of coffee. Just as they got into the cafe, it started to rain.
The biggest turtle said to the smallest one, " Go home and get the umbrella."
The little turtle replied, "I will, if you don't drink my offee."
"We won't," the other two promised.
Two years later the big turtle said to the middle turtle, "Well, I guess he isn't coming back, so we might as well drink his coffee."
Just then a voice called from outside the door, "If you do, I won't go."
三隻烏龜決定去喝咖啡。它們剛到咖啡店的門口，就下起雨來。於是最大的那隻烏龜對最小的烏龜說，“回家去取傘吧。”
最小的烏龜說，“如果你們不把我的咖啡喝了，我就去。”
“我們不喝，”另外兩隻烏龜答應說。
兩年後，大烏龜對中烏龜說，“好吧，我猜他肯定不回來了，我們可以把它的咖啡喝掉了。”
正在這時，一個聲音從門外傳來，“你們要是喝了，我就不去。”
關於經典英語笑話篇四Seth Smith was reckoned the laziest man in town. Sotired had the authorities become of contributing to his supportthat they decided to consign him to a living tomb. Accordinglyhe was prepared for burial. The hearse was an old ramshacklecountry wagon. As the strange cortege moved along some old residentasked，“Who is it?” “Why，Seth Smith， who is too lazy to get anything to liveon， so we are going to bury him alive.” “I'll give him a bushel of corn，” said one.“And I will，”said another. Slowly raising his head， Seth asked：“Is the corn shelled，neighbor?” “No，you must do that yourself.” Gently replacing his head， he said：“ Drive on， boys，drive on.”
塞思·史密斯被公認爲鎮上頭號懶人。長官們實在懶得再供養他，便決定把他送進一個天然墳墓裏去。於是他被準備着去埋葬，靈車是一輛搖搖晃晃的鄉下舊馬車。正當這列奇怪的送葬隊伍在行進時，一些老街坊問道：“這是誰啊?”“唉，塞思·史密斯，他懶得沒法活了，我們這就去把他活埋。”“我來給他一蒲式耳穀子吧，”一個人說。“我也給，”另一個說。 塞思慢慢擡起頭來問道：“穀子脫粒了嗎，街坊?” “沒有，你得自己來。”他緩緩把頭放回原處說：“接着走吧，孩子們，接着走吧。”
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