十個人們不再遵守的禮儀(2)

sing Up

7.盛裝打扮

I love my yoga pants as much as the next gal, but occasionally I find myself yearning for the days when people really cared about how they looked in public. Church just isn't the same when you're standing one pew behind someone with gaping holes in their saggy jeans, and don't even get me started on adults wearing pajamas in public. It's not. That hard. To put. On pants.

我很喜歡像瑜伽褲那樣休閒隨意的穿着，這種喜歡不亞於對下任女友的喜愛，但有時我也會強烈地懷念以前那些日子，那時候人們還非常在意自己在公衆場合的穿着。而如今教堂裏的情形都不同以往了，站在你前一排的人可能會穿着鬆垮的乞丐牛仔褲做禮拜，更別提那些在公衆場合穿着睡衣的成年人了。好好穿褲子就那麼難嗎……

Men and women used to don suits and dresses to fly the friendly skies, but they also didn't have to go through the extensive parking, transportation and security hassles that we endure nowadays. So I say, dress for comfort when traveling and save the etiquette lessons for more pressing matters, like not hogging the armrests. Unless you're trying to get a free upgrade to first class.

曾經人們坐飛機時都要好好打扮一番，男士們都要穿西裝，女士們則穿連衣裙。不過那時候的人們倒也不像我們今天這樣，忍受着無休止的停車困難，交通擁擠和出行不安全的問題。要我說，除非你打算免費升級到頭等艙，要不旅行時還是穿得舒服點兒吧，且在緊要關頭還是應該遵守禮節，比如不霸佔扶手。

The shift to casual dress, while welcome in everyday life, seems to be bleeding over into fancier events where more people are ignoring formal and semiformal dress guidelines. "I go to a lot of formal events, and this is a huge pet peeve of mine," says Staci-Jill Burnley of Alexandria, Virginia. "Nothing looks tackier than a man in dress uniform or tux with a woman in a cocktail dress." A fancy enough event will indicate semiformal (knee-length cocktail dress) or formal (long or floor-length gown). If you don't have the appropriate attire on hand, hit the mall or go shopping in a friend's closet. You really don't want to draw Staci-Jill's ire. Trust me.

如今人們在日常生活中更傾向於穿休閒的服裝了，不過也有越來越多的人忽視了在正式場合的正式和半正式着裝規則，這可真是讓人痛心疾首。來自弗吉尼亞州亞歷山大市的史戴西-吉爾·伯恩利（Staci-Jill Burnley）說：“我去過很多正式場合，沒有什麼比看到一個穿着正式晚禮服的男人牽着一個穿着酒會小禮服的女人更俗氣的事了，在正式場合穿錯禮服是我最忌諱的事情。”在一個非常盛大的場合就意味着人們的穿着爲半正式的（及膝禮服）或正式的（長的或拖地晚禮服）。如果你沒有合適的衣服，那就去商場逛逛，或者看看朋友的衣櫃裏有沒有合適的。相信我，你可千萬別激怒史戴西-吉爾。

ing About Money

6.談論金錢

Discussion of money and all things related used to be a faux pas of Rockefeller-sized proportions. In the olden days no one would be tacky enough to assign a figure to their net worth or disclose the cost of their new Rolls Royce. Today, people barely bat an eye when discussing salary and lifestyle, often showcasing their good fortune on social media for all their friends to see and covet. Equally off-putting are the folks who feel quite free to ask you how much you paid for your home or your car.

同擁有洛克菲勒同等資產的富人談論錢及相關的話題都是失禮的。在過去，沒有人俗氣到派人計算他的淨資產，也不會向外人透露新買的勞斯萊斯的價格。如今，當人們討論薪水和生活方式時，幾乎連眼睛都不眨一下，還經常在社交媒體上炫耀自己的好運氣，好讓好友們看到並心生羨慕。同樣令人不快的是，人們會毫不避諱地問你在房子和車子上花費了多少錢。

It is one thing to be proud of your accomplishments, and quite another to brag, particularly when it's to people who might be having a tough time financially. The experts over at The Emily Post Institute encourage manner-minded people to revert back to the days when dollar signs were rarely discussed, certainly not in envy-inducing specifics. Even when asked outright about income, there are easy enough ways to dance around the topic, with the canned Post response being, "I make enough to get by". And if someone asks you about the price of your house, make a joke ("We paid more than we liked!") or just be honest ("I'm sorry, I'm not really comfortable discussing that"). A rude question doesn't deserve a straight answer.

對自己獲得的成就感到驕傲是一回事，但吹牛又是另一回事了，特別是對那些正處在經濟困難時期的人炫耀。艾米莉·波斯特研究所(The Emily Post Institute)的專家們鼓勵有禮貌的人回到過去不怎麼談及金錢的日子，當然這種情況並不會誘發嫉妒。即使當我們被直截了當地問及收入情況時，我們也有足夠多且簡單的方法跳出這個話題，波斯特專家們對此會回覆道：“我的收入足以維持生活。”如果有人問你房子的價格，開個玩笑告訴他：“比我們想的要多。”或者誠實地告訴他“對不起，我不想談論這個問題。”這樣粗魯的問題不值得我們直接坦率地回答。

tuality

5.守時

I don't know when the phrase "fashionably late" became popular and regularly practiced, but it has taken off with abandon. In fact, if you're prone to promptness like me, chances are you'll be the only person at any given party for at least a half-hour after the indicated start time. That's because arriving extremely late has become the standard. In stark contrast, most etiquette experts agree that the window of fashionable tardiness is a mere five to 15 minutes. The train seems to have left the station on this etiquette infraction, with no signs of turning back. Since it makes my eye twitch to be late, I'll enjoy the small crowd and extra finger food while everyone else trickles in slowly.

我不知道何時“時髦的遲到”變得流行，並且經常發生，但這種情況已經在生活中恣意地蔓延。事實上，如果你像我一樣守時，很有可能你會成爲在聚會指定時間開始後至少半個小時內到場的唯一一個人。那是因爲如今遲到很久已經成爲一個標準。與之形成鮮明對比的是，大部分禮儀專家也同意“時髦的遲到”，但能接受的範圍僅僅是5到15分鐘。時光的列車早已在違反禮儀的軌道上離站，沒有回頭的跡象。可是我依然會做個守時的人，因爲我遲到會眨眼，這會讓我極不舒服，所以當別人還在慢慢地趕過來時，我倒可以享受寬敞的空間和額外的零食。

The only time a late arrival may be acceptable is when it's a cultural norm among your family, friends or social group. If that's the case, then an on-time arrival might mean catching the hostess running frantically in her underwear to take something out of the oven.

只有在一種情況下，遲到是可以接受的，即在你的家庭，朋友或者社會團體裏，遲到已經成爲一種文化規範。如果是那樣的話，準時來訪也就意味着可能會看到女主人只穿着內衣，火急火燎地從烤箱拿出食物爲即將到訪的客人做準備。

alry

4.騎士精神

Although chivalry is typically associated with men, make no mistake — women can be courteous in many of the same ways. In fact, most ladies no longer expect to be treated with kid gloves as was common in decades past. We fought long and hard to be respected as strong, intelligent and self-sufficient people! As a youngish, able-bodied woman, I have absolutely no problem opening my own doors, carrying heavy boxes and pulling out my own chair. If someone offers to assist, I won't turn them down, but it's usually a pleasant surprise. My issue with today's lack of assistance etiquette has more to do with failure to help people who really need it.

儘管騎士精神是男士的標配，但毫無疑問女性也可以在同樣場合下做到舉止端莊，彬彬有禮。事實上，和過去不同，現在的女性並不再十分希望得到男性的溫柔照顧。爲贏得尊重，讓社會認可女性同男性一樣獨立、智慧、充滿力量，我們一直爲之作着漫長而又艱苦的鬥爭。作爲一個年輕充滿活力的女性，我完全可以自己開門下車，搬運重箱子，拉出椅子更沒問題。如果有人熱心提供幫助，我也不會拒絕，但通常來說這並不是必須，權當做社交中的意外驚喜吧。而我想說的是，拋開這些禮節性的幫助，今天我們真正匱乏的是去幫助那些確實需要我們照顧的人們。

"When I lived in New York City I constantly saw young, healthy men and women on the subway who were so rude or engrossed in their phones or books that they let the obviously pregnant, handicapped, injured and elderly passengers stand while they comfortably commuted," says Monique Johnson, who currently resides in Washington D.C., and has called out many a passenger for failing to give up a seat for someone who really needs it. "It's easy enough to get your head out of the clouds and not be a jerk."

現居華盛頓特區的莫尼克·約翰遜(Monique Johnson)說：“住在紐約的那段時間，我經常在地鐵裏看見身強體健的上班族瘋搶座位，沉浸在自己的手機或書上，完全無視身邊站着的老人、孕婦、殘疾人以及傷員等這些需要幫助的弱勢羣體。”說完這些，他還指出現在許多人都不會給真正需要座位的乘客讓座。“放下手頭的事，別總是雲裏霧裏，多關注你身邊的人，爲他們提供幫助吧，這樣我們才稱得上有紳士風度。”

Think about it this way: Doing someone else a solid by simply giving up your seat, holding the elevator or spotting them a dollar can change the trajectory of their day for the positive, all at very little effort to you. Plus, you might need the favor returned one day.

這樣想，給更需要的人讓出你的座位；扶殘疾人坐電梯；給乞討的人一美元……你的這些小小舉動很可能就會讓這些人正能量一整天。要相信，總有一天當你面臨困難時，你付出的愛心社會也會同樣給予你。

審校:淺芷湄 編輯:Freya然