高學歷女性找老公時要遵守的十大古怪標準(上)

Have you heard about Jon Birger's book Date-onomics: How Dating Became a Lopsided Numbers Game? In it Birger applies economic rules to the business of dating.

你讀過Jon Birger的書--《約會經濟學：約會如何變成一項失衡的博弈》嗎？在書中，Birger將經濟學原理應用到了約會中。

You may think that romance and economics should be separate and that money should not play a part in love. Well, you might well be right, but only up to a certain extent.

可能你認爲浪漫不應與經濟相提並論，金錢在愛情面前無足輕重。好吧，可能你是對的，但是僅限於特定範圍。

Money should not determine who you fall in love with (if it does you might find the marriage less satisfying in the years down the line) but the rules of economics, simple supply and demand actually translate very accurately, and indeed scarily so into the world of dating.

金錢不應該決定你會愛上誰（如果是這樣，那你可能會發現之後幾年的婚姻滿意度會很低），但是實際上，經濟學中簡單的供求關係就能準得可怕地解釋約會這件事。

We all know that a premium attaches to a scarce resource but what are the scarce resources when it comes to love? Roses? Chocolates? No, it turns out that the scarce resources in modern day dating are college educated men!

我們都知道，資源短缺與價格上漲密不可分，那麼如果是愛情中的資源短缺呢？玫瑰？巧克力？不不不，事實證明，在現代的約會中，所缺乏的資源是受過大學教育的小夥子！

This means that if you want to meet the man of your dreams and get that diamond ring on your finger you are going to be facing some very stiff competition; in New York, for example, the number of single straight women is more than double the number of single straight men.

意思是如果你想遇到夢中的白馬王子並與他白頭偕老，那麼你將要面對一些非常殘酷的競爭；比如說，在紐約，單身直女的數量是單身直男數量的兩倍還多。

This is where economics comes in. When a traditional resource is scarce (gold for example) enterprising prospectors search for new sources of the product.

這個時候經濟學就派上用場了。當一種傳統資源稀缺（以金礦爲例）的時候，野心勃勃的勘探者就會尋找該產品的新來源。

They spend time and effort exploring untapped regions and, if they are lucky they hit the motherlode.

他們花費時間和努力探索未開發的地區，如果運氣足夠好，那麼他們會恰好找到主礦脈。

In his book on the subject, Date-Onomics, finance and tech guru Jon Birger has set out clearly and succinctly exactly what young college educated women today need to do to maximize your chances of making a success of your dating dreams and beating your contemporaries in the race to the altar.

書中關於約會經濟學這一話題，經濟和技術達人Jon Birger清晰而準確地闡述了當代受過大學教育的年輕女性應該如何提高與理想對象約會的成功率並且在走向婚姻殿堂的競賽中擊敗對手。

Here, in this article we have summarized his 10 key points for you. Is it really true that if you're over 35 and unmarried you're more likely to be killed by terrorists than get married? Probably.

在今天的文章中，我們爲你總結了Jon Birger的十大觀點。難道35歲依然未婚的你真的比已婚人士更容易被恐怖分子殺害？可能吧。

But if you're under 25, college educated and looking for a college educated man your chances are even worse! Keep reading.

但是，如果你還未滿25歲，接受過大學教育，而且正在尋找一位受過同樣教育的小夥子，那麼你的處境更加危險！接着讀下去吧。

't Be Intimidating

10.不要咄咄逼人

Think about some of the unattached, college educated women that you know in their 30s and 40s. What do they have in common?

想想你認識的那些30和40歲的高學歷單身女性，她們都有哪些共同特點？

The chances are that they are smart, beautiful and successful in their chosen careers. These women should be a premium product. They should have been snapped up by eligible men when they were much younger, so why are they still single?

很可能在所處的行業中，她們都聰明能幹、美麗大方並且事業有成。她們都是優秀女性的代表。理論上應該早就被那些條件合格的小夥子們盯上了，那爲什麼她們仍然單身呢？

Some women suffer from being just too attractive. This is known as the 'Carol Syndrome' after the mathematical explanation that explains the phenomenon.

一些女性正是吃了太吸引人的苦頭。這就是得通過數學建模來解釋這一現象的“卡羅爾綜合症”。

When men see a very attractive single woman they assume that a lot of other men will be interested in her and that their chances of rejection are therefore very high. For that reason they never bother approaching her.

當男人看到一位很吸引人的單身女性的時候，他們會假定還有許多其他的男人也對她感興趣，那麼自己被拒的可能性就會很高。因此他們從來不會費勁去接近她。

This also causes problems for very intelligent women.

這也給這些的聰明女人帶來了困擾。

If you are too successful you will also be seen as unreachable and unobtainable by the men who are interested in long term relationships as these men often have low self-esteem compared with the lotharios who are easier to meet.

如果你太成功了，那麼你就會被那些想要長期穩定情感關係的男性看作是遙不可及的，因爲相比那些交友廣泛的花花公子，這種男人一般比較容易自卑。

In locations such as New York the number of women vastly outnumbers the men available to date them.

在諸如紐約這類城市，女性的數量比可供她們約會的男性的數量多得多。

Here men can get everything they want (casual sex is often high on the agenda) relatively easily due to the high numbers of women in the city they are not going to want to bother with women who are challenging to talk to and date or those they perceive are so attractive that they might be rejected.

男人在這裏可以得到他們想要的一切（日程表中的隨意性行爲比率很高）。相對而言，這很容易歸結於城市中他們不想去搭訕的女性數量太多，與這些女性聊天或者約會實在是一大挑戰或者他們認爲自己極有可能被拒因而放棄了努力。

The moral of the story – if you just want to hook up don't be too difficult to talk to or spend time with.

這是一個道德故事——如果只是想搭訕，那麼不要讓人感覺你難以交流和相處。

If you want a long term relationship leading to marriage you should not sell yourself short or act stupid just to attract a mate (any one worth having will want you for you) but you should be approachable and easy to talk to.

如果想要一段以結婚爲目的的戀愛，那麼你就不能妄自菲薄或者靠裝傻來吸引異性（任何一個你都值得被擁有）。

You should also make an effort to approach men so that they know you are interested in them rather than assuming you would reject them.

當然你應該易於接近和交流。你應該努力去接近男性，那樣他們才知道你對他們感興趣，而不單單是自己默默猜測你可能會拒絕他們。

Foreign Friends

9.交外國朋友

The phenomenon of the rise of female enrolment in college is not unique to the US but it is particularly pronounced here in America. In the US in 2012 34% more women graduated from college than men in the same cohort.

大學女生的數量日益增長的現象並不只是美國獨有，但確實在美洲尤其明顯。2012年，美國同批畢業女大學生數量比男生多34%。

This imbalance is obvious in older generations and therefore spills over post-college as well.

這種不平衡在老一輩中很明顯並且因此而波及到剛畢業的大學生。

This means that women are competing in a difficult market with, in some cases, two or more college educated woman chasing every single college educated man. This imbalance is not the same everywhere.

這意味着女性在一種極其艱難的市場環境中競爭，換句話說，每一位受過大學教育的單身小夥子會被兩個甚至更多同等學歷姑娘追求。而這種失衡的現象並不是處處都存在的。

In China, for example, the gender imbalance is reversed with 120 boys born for every 100 girls. Bearing in mind that the people from other countries who come to work at high level jobs in the US tend to be from the wealthier and more cosmopolitan parts of society; cultivating foreign students and friends from abroad will ensure that you have an opportunity to meet with a broad range of eligible men.

比如說，在中國，性別失衡體現在每出生100個女孩就會出生120個男孩。從其他國家來到美國從事高水平工作的人通常都是來自於更富有的、見識更廣的一部分社會羣體，記住這個然後去結識外國學生和來自五湖四海的朋友，這會確保你有機會遇到一大批符合要求的男性。

Of course whether their social culture and customs are ones that you will be happy with are another issue and one for you to consider very carefully if and when you end up dating someone from abroad.

當然是否適應他們的社會文化和習俗是另外一個問題了，當你決定結束一段跨國戀情的時候要想清楚了。

y A Traditionally 'Male' Subject

8.學一門傳統的“男性”課程

The gender gap in our colleges has become a real problem with social ramifications for both the men and the women attending these institutions.

在我們學院性別差距已經成了一個真正的社會問題，工科學院的男女比例嚴重失衡。

From the early 1980s more women than men have graduated college and this trend is set to get worse.

20世紀80年代初，大學畢業的女性人數比男性多，並且這種現象每況愈下。

Students in colleges with more women than men such as Sarah Lawrence in New York tend to live in a 'hook up' culture which regards relationships as transient and women as disposable.

女性比男性多的院校，如紐約的沙拉勞倫斯學院趨向於一種“風流”文化，它把男女關係看作是短暫的尋歡作樂，把女性當玩具對待。

Majority male colleges such as Cal-Tech tend to be more traditional. It is not unknown for couples to meet up in freshman year and continue their relationship throughout their time in college.

而大多數男子學院如加州理工學院則更傳統：可以確定的是，很多情侶在大一相遇，然後相戀整個大學時光。

If you are at the stage of your life where you are considering what courses to study you might want to consider enrolling on one with a traditional male bias.

如果你正處於考慮到底學習哪門課程階段，可能你會選擇一門傳統男性有偏見的課程。

This will ensure that you spend your day to day life in the company of men and can get to know them as individuals away from the bar scene.

你選擇的課程將決定你日常耗費多少時間與男性爲伴，你也會從中發現男性的生活不存在性別歧視。

It also makes it more likely that you will work in a male dominated industry and therefore that you will continue to be exposed to men in a beneficial environment.

這門課程也可能使你以後更多就業在男性占主導地位的行業，所以你會一直處於男性有利的環境裏。

A nursing degree is far more likely to leave you knowing only a handful of men compared with enrolment in a more typically male field like engineering where only 16% of all US majors are female.

與典型的男性專業如工程專業相比（全美攻讀男性專業的女性僅佔16%），護理學畢業的你可能認識的男生更少。

You may not end up dating (and may not want to) the men on your course or from your office but they will have friends and you will have a larger pool of eligible men to choose from.

你可能沒有（也或許不想）和同專業或同辦公室的男性交往過，但他們有很多朋友，你也因此有更多合適的男性資源可供選擇。