用英語說中國家庭生活 第5期:訂親
The BetrothAl
First both sets of parents exchanged family credentials as tokens of intention.
首先雙方父母會相互交換可以表明身份的信物。Then, after extensive bargaining, the two families would arrive at the amount of money and goods that would make up the gift to the girl’s family.
然後經過謹慎的商討，雙方父母就給女方的聘禮的費用和禮品達成一致。
After presenting engagement takens, the go-between would ask the bride’s family to chose among several auspicious wedding dates suggested by the boy’s family and also set a date for presenting betrothal gifts.
訂婚儀式過後，媒人會向男方家庭要幾個黃道吉日同時也會擇日給予聘禮。The boy’s family presented betrothal gifts of money and significant items such as tea, “Dragon (male) and Phoenix (female)” bridal cakes, pairs of male and female poultry, sweetmeats and sugar, wine and tobacco ，accompanied by an itemized statement of these gifts.
男方家庭的聘禮包括金錢和貴重物品，比如茶葉，“龍鳳餅”老婆餅，幾對家禽，果脯和喜糖，紅酒和菸草等等。Tea was such a primary part of these gifts in some areas that they were known collectively as cha-li, that is, "tea presents."
茶葉是所有禮物中的重中之重原因在人們熟知的“茶禮”。The girl's family reciprocated with gifts of food and clothing.
女方家庭也會回禮一些食物和衣物。It was customary for the girl's family to distribute the bridal cakes they received from the boy's family to friends and relatives as a form of announcement and invitation to the wedding feast.
女方家庭將男方給的老婆餅發給親朋好友，以示婚宴的正式通知。The number of cakes given to each was established according to a rigid etiquette，on the basis of seniority and degree of intimacy.
發給每個人的老婆餅的數量由長輩資歷和親密程度決定。Those who received the bridal cakes, were expected to present congratulatory gifts to the girl's parents.
女方父母指望那些收到老婆餅的人會給賀禮。The boy's families gifts acknowledged the parents' efforts in raising the girl，and by accepting the gifts，the girl's family pledged her to the boy's.
男方家庭體諒女方家庭帶大孩子的不容易，而經過接受聘禮，女方家庭會將女兒託付給新郎。It is interesting to note that the bride was given to the family rather than the groom alone.
值得注意的是新娘是被託付給了家族而非新郎自己。Although the bride and groom probably had not met yet, betrothal was considered binding unless both families agreed to annul the contract.
儘管新郎和新娘沒見過面，訂親是包辦的，除非雙方家庭同意解除婚約。Several days after the presentation of the betrothal gifts，the girl's family sent porters with an inventoried dowry to the boy's house.
聘禮接收的幾天後，女方會叫人將女方的嫁妝送去男方家。The dowry consisted of practical items, including a chamber pot, filled for the occasion with fruit and strings of coins.
嫁妝包括許多實用的物品，比如夜壺，裝滿水果的盆，幾串銅錢。This procession gave the girl's family the opportunity to display both their social status and their love for their daughter，and wealthy parents often included serving girls to attend their daughter in her new home.
這些物品展示了女方家庭的家境和對新娘的疼愛，大戶人家會把丫鬟作爲嫁妝讓新娘帶入新家。Betrothals generally lasted for a year or two, although child betrothals would last until the children had grown to marriageable age.
訂親儀式一般會持續一年到兩年，甚至有些娃娃親的訂親儀式會持續到兩個孩子長到適婚年齡。
