史上最爛發明
Creative types often dream of coming up with the next must-have gadget that will earn them a fortune.
愛創造的人總是夢想着發明出能夠讓自己大賺一筆的必備神器。But innovation isn't always something to be celebrated, if these ridiculous inventions are anything to go by.
但是發明並不總是值得慶祝，如果以下這些令人哭笑不得的發明也算髮明的話。People have been sharing examples of the Most preposterous devices online, from a machine that pets your dog so you can save yourself the trouble to shoes with ready-painted toenails for when you're feeling lazy.
人們在網上分享了最荒謬的發明，從愛撫狗狗的機器到讓你偷懶的“塗好指甲油”的鞋子。
Others have tried to revolutionise trusty kitchen gadgets such as the pizza cutter with very dubious results, while someone invented a fan that attaches to your chopsticks or cutlery to cool down food that's too hot.
其他人還試圖徹底改變可靠的廚房用具，比如效果可疑的披薩切割刀，以及固定在筷子或刀叉上的扇子，用來吹涼太燙的食物。Fashion isn't safe either with the invention of a tape measure belt that shows how trim or otherwise your waistline is and 'underpants' for your hands.
連時尚也不能倖免。有人發明出了顯示腰圍的腰帶，還有人給雙手發明了“內褲”。Who wants a pet that you can't pet? Apparently thought there's a market for a device aimed at people who can't be bothered to stroke their dogs
如果你不能愛撫自己的寵物，那養寵物做什麼？顯然，發明者認爲有這樣一羣人連自己的狗狗都懶得撫摸。In a hurry to eat dinner? A fan you can attach to your chopsticks will make sure you don't risk burning your tongue
急着吃晚餐？把扇子固定在筷子上，這樣你就不會燙到你的舌頭了。Too lazy to paint your toenails? No matter how badly you need a pedicure, it's doubtful that these shoes are going to make a much better impression
懶得塗腳趾甲？不管你多麼需要修指甲，這樣的鞋能否給你的形象加分還真是令人懷疑。There'll be no more embarrassing moments in Japanese restaurants with this cutlery-chopstick hybrid
有了這種刀叉和筷子的合成物，在日本餐廳你再也不會尷尬了。If it ain't broke! Most have a pizza cutter in their drawer for a very good reason and those that don't can just use a knife
如果廠家不破產的話，多數人都很有理由在自己的抽屜裏備上一把披薩切割刀，如果沒有的話，你可以直接用一把普通的刀來切披薩。Gained at Weight Watchers this week? Why not advertise your disappointment to the world with a belt that keeps track of your waistline
本週在慧儷輕體機構發現自己變重了？爲什麼不用這種記錄你腰圍的腰帶把你的失望廣而告之？Phones can now play music, take photos, run countless apps and apparently give you a shave in the mornings
手機現在可以播放音樂、拍照、運行數不清的應用，顯然還可以在早上爲你刮鬍子。If you're not limber enough to undo your own bra, perhaps there are bigger concerns to attend to than rushing out to buy this clapping activated device
如果你手腳不夠靈活不能解開文胸，也許除了跑去買這個解文胸激活裝置外，你還有其他更重要的事需要擔心。Do not disturb: This 'screen privacy' hoodie supposedly blocks unwanted attention but is likely to have the opposite effect
不要打擾：這種“隱私屏蔽”帽衫據說可以擋掉不想要的關注，但也可能產生反效果。Snack happy! Ensure you never go hungry with a pouch that allows you to take a slice of pizza everywhere you go
歡樂的小吃時間！這個袋子讓你走到哪裏也不怕捱餓，因爲你可以從袋子裏取出一片披薩來吃。Didn't they get the memo? When you spend all your time inventing underpants for the hands only to discover that gloves exist, the disappointment much be huge
他們沒有備忘錄嗎？當你花了那麼多時間給手發明內褲後，你會發現有手套這種東西，你那時候一定超級失望。Waste not a moment! If you like every second of your life to be non-stop entertainment, then toilet golf is the device for you
一秒鐘也不浪費！如果你希望生命中的每一秒鐘都是不停地在娛樂，那麼廁所高爾夫很適合你。Paranoid much? This device allows you to go through life without touching anything!
太偏執了吧？這個小工具讓你無論走到哪裏，都不會碰到任何東西！Not such a jean-ius idea: Surprisingly these denim flip flop wedges have not been seen on the haute couture catwalk
在牛仔時裝界這個主意不是太高明：令人驚訝的是這種牛仔拖鞋沒有出現在高級時裝的T臺上。
