廈大教授畢業贈言走紅：不要隨便叫人老公
又到一年畢業季，各式各樣的畢業典禮，總能勾起一代學子的念念不捨之情——那些在校園的青蔥歲月，那些與同學談天說地的日子，那些爲了考試畢設奔前跑後的辛酸和值得……
面對又有一批學子即將離開校園，老師總不免囑咐幾句。雞湯熱淚，該灑的都灑了……但是今年廈門大學的畢業典禮上，代表教授的發言：“圖書館帶不走，實驗室帶不走，小師妹…哦，這個好像可以帶走…還有，不要隨便叫陌生男人老公，不論他多有名有錢。”笑倒了一片……
看多了勵志畢業演講，好像這種幽默範兒反而更讓我們笑中帶淚了呢~國外也有滑稽幽默的畢業演講哦，英語君節選了部分，在幽默中，尋一尋回憶裏的感動和對未來的展望吧！
1. ELLEN DEGENERES, Actress, Tulane University, 2009
著名脫口秀主持人、演員艾倫·德詹尼絲，2009年杜蘭大學畢業演講
Follow your passion, stay true to yourself, never follow someone else's path unless you're in the woods and you're lost and you see a path then by all means you should follow that.
追隨你的激情，忠於自己，別盲從別人的路，除非你在樹林裏並且你迷路了，那麼你務必要走你看到的那條路。
2. ERIC IDLE, Actor and Comedian, Whitman College, 2013
演員、喜劇明星艾瑞克·愛都，2013年惠特曼學院畢業演講
You probably remember the first time you got drunk. Who knew the room would go round and round and round? They don't say that on the bottle, do they? 'Warning: The room will go round and round and round.' So be careful of that. When the room is spinning, you've pretty much had enough. It's the same with marriage.
你可能還記得第一次喝醉。誰知道整個房間會轉啊轉啊轉啊？貪杯的人不會那麼說，不是嗎？友情提示：房間將變得轉啊轉啊轉啊。你得小心了。當房間正在旋轉，你已經喝的差不多了。婚姻也是如此。
3. STEPHEN COLBERT, Writer, comedian and TV host, NorthWestern University, 2011
（《扣扣熊報告/深夜秀》）主持人、作家、喜劇演員史蒂芬·科拜爾，2011年西北大學
And we didn't have cell phones. If you made plans to meet someone in a snow storm, and they didn't show up, you just had to assume they were devoured by wolves and go on with your life.
……且我們沒有手機。如果你計劃與某人在暴風雪中見面，並且他們沒有出現，你就不得不假設他們被狼吃掉了並且繼續你自己的生活。
4. FRED ARMISEN, Actor, Oregon Episcopal High School, 2011
演員弗萊德·阿米森，2011年俄勒岡主教高中畢業演講
Remember that there's no one way of doing things. You know how when you unscrew something it's 'righty tighty, lefty loosey'? If you just get a hammer and hit it really hard, whatever it is, I guarantee you it'll open.
記住，做事情並不止一種方式。你知道擰開什麼東西的時候“右擰擰實，左擰擰開”是怎麼操作的吧？如果你拿一個錘子，用力敲打，不管它是什麼，我向你保證你能打開它。
5. BRADLEY WHITFORD, Film and television Actor (NBC's West Wing), University of Wisconsin, 2004
電影、電視（NBC電視劇《白宮風雲》）演員布萊德利·惠特福德， 2004年威斯康星大學畢業演講
The sad truth is, I don't even remember who the speaker was at my graduation. I remember squinting a lot and a vague sense that I would never again be around so many attractive, available young people in my life. It is my solemn duty to inform you that that fear is entirely well founded. This is coming from a guy who works in Hollywood, by the way.
一個令人傷心的事實是，我甚至不記得我畢業的時候是誰做的演講。我記得我眯着眼，有着一個模糊的感覺，我的生活中永遠不會再有如此之多、有着吸引力的年輕人了。我很負責的告訴你，恐懼是完全有理由的。順便一提，這是來自一個在好萊塢工作者的心得。
