陶氏公司"螃蟹門"背後的悲情故事

背景介紹：

據說寫此文的人是陶氏公司的員工，某週末公司安排員工去吃螃蟹，自願報名，前往者可帶公司付費的5對螃蟹回家，公司說的是公蟹5兩，母蟹4.5兩。此君憑目測認爲最後發給大家的螃蟹小了，於是在大家吃完了都上車準備離開的時候，此君獨自把十隻螃蟹每隻都去過秤，折騰了20多分鐘，公司100多人就在車上等了他20多分鐘。最主要的是螃蟹確實小了，於是他很生氣，後果很嚴重。回來後於一花了一下午奮筆疾書，寫了一封郵件，發給了公司近200人。該郵件被迅速轉發轉載，被稱爲500強企業“螃蟹門”事件，成爲年末娛樂一大看點。通篇充斥着因螃蟹縮水而生的不忿之情，由此引起的對家庭的虧欠之情以及對由此引起的潛在的對公司形象的不良影響的擔憂之情躍然紙面，據說DOW中國區董事長將在年會上親自代表公司向他以及全家道歉，並補發1斤重的公蟹及8兩重的母蟹模型各一隻，上面刻上“憂國憂民”。（背景介紹轉自）

小編：。。。。。。無力吐槽，請大家自己看此君感天動地的英文Email。當家中父老都眼巴巴等着兒子帶螃蟹回家的時候，卻被告知螃蟹的重量縮水了！這是多麼悽慘無情殘酷的一出家庭悲情戲……

From: Hu, Laker (LJ)
Sent: Monday, November 29, 2010 5:36 PM
To: FCYRECR

Dear FCYRECR and my Dow friends in CC list,
父老鄉親們哪！

I’d like to share with you a story of my family, which happened after my trip back from the YangCheng Lake last Saturday.
家門不幸哪！求大家給俺做主：

As per the trip agenda, at the end of the trip, colleagues who registered YangCheng Lake can take 5 pairs of Crabs( female crab ~225g and male crab ~ 250g), which is clearly written in the trip agenda, public on intranet. So, I registered and confirmed the trip several weeks ago, and delighted to tell my parents that I would bring back 5 pairs of crabs after the trip, with each pair of female crab ~225g and male crab ~ 250g. My mother was pretty happy once heard the news, so a few days later, she nicely invited my sister and brother in law to come over for the crabs. Last Saturday when I was back home from the trip, my sister and brother in law had already arrived, and along with my parents waiting for me back home to cook the crab, to have a weekend family reunion dinner. As I had already knew that the crabs were smaller than what I told in my early promise, so I frankly told my family of it. Then there happened something unpleasant afterwards. My mother was quite disappointed on it, and my father also got a little upset on it. My sister and brother in law, as being guests, helped easing my parents, with no comment on it. That moment, I felt so embarrassed and guilty!!! I felt that I just cheated my parents in front of my family members, though I was innocent. But still, I couldn’t forgive myself of that at the moment! How could a son cheat his parents, and got his parents embarrassed in front of family members. I definitely couldn’t forgive myself of that. The dinner that night was long and silent for me…
…話說上週六公司組織去陽澄湖吃螃蟹，本來說好了的每人可以帶五對螃蟹回家，公蟹5兩，母蟹4.5兩。俺在臨行前很激動地對俺爹俺娘說，俺可以帶螃蟹回來吃了，俺爹俺娘也挺欣慰的，還特意通知了俺姐和俺姐夫回家吃蟹。結果呢？坑爹啊！公司無情地欺騙了俺，發的螃蟹根本沒5兩重！公司可以坑爹，俺身爲人子，怎麼也能昧着良心坑爹呢？家裏爹孃和姐姐姐夫都眼巴巴等着吃螃蟹啊，可是俺只能回去告訴他們，螃蟹壓根沒五兩重。俺爹孃何其失望！俺姐姐和俺姐夫倒是啥都沒說，幫着安慰倆老人家。所謂吾不殺伯仁伯仁因吾而死，坑了俺爹孃的雖說不是俺，但是俺有責任！俺爹孃一大把年紀了啊俺讓他們在全家人面前丟臉了，俺以後還怎麼做人？於是漫漫長夜，俺捫心自責，痛苦不堪……

I’ve been working for Dow for 4.5 years with proud, and my Dow friends also feel proud of being a member of Dow Family. We all LOVE our company, and dedicate ourselves to the company. Hereby, I’d like to take the chance to talk something about my parents as well. My parents are also proud of their son, me, being an employee of Dow Chemical. I can see their proud from their smiles when I get off work back home everyday, I can hear their proud from their conversation with the neighbors in my community, I can feel their proud from my heart deeply, as I am my parents’ son.
俺在陶氏幹了四年多了，大家都以陶氏爲榮。俺們愛陶氏，俺們願意爲陶氏付出——但是俺們也是有爹孃的！俺爹孃覺得他們的兒子能進陶氏很了不起，他們天天開心地迎接我下班回家，開心地和鄰居談論自己兒子多有出息。俺從心底體會到他們對俺的愛！因爲俺是俺父母的兒子！

Dow has company vision of being a respectful company in the world, and I’ve been taking every of my efforts on building up company’s credibility in all aspect taking every of my efforts on building up company’s credibility in all aspects, and I am so sure that all my Dow friends are proud of doing the same thing as me. I am now worrying that the unpleasant thing happened to my family members last Saturday might cause potential negative opinions or comments to my family,to my friends, or even to my community, however, I trust that the company will give me a acceptable reason to explain, which I can bring it back to my family.
陶氏致力於成爲國際矚目的大企業，俺也一直默默爲了這個目標而奉獻自己的一份力，俺的同事們也都是一樣。但是上週發生的那件令人寒心的事，無疑會造成潛在的公關危機，對公司的形象和聲譽產生極爲不好的影響！俺希望公司能給俺一個交代，於是俺也好給俺爹孃一個交代。

Thank you so much for your time on reading above, and your concerning on the matter in advance.
俺謝謝大家對俺的關心和同情。

Last but not least, for my Dow friends who have similar concerns with me, thank you for your supporting on me, I appreciate if you also can have your voice heard by the company.
最後，所有同樣被坑的同事們，俺謝謝你們對俺的支持，如果你們願意打破沉默，和俺一起勇敢地站出來，俺謝謝你們全家。

Sincerely, Laker
你們真誠的朋友，湖人

注：中文翻譯純屬搞笑