經典英語笑話7則

英語笑話是指以一句英文短語或一個英文故事讓說話者和聽者之間覺得好笑，或是產生幽默感，笑話是一種經過藝術加工的語言形式,是藝術化的語言，笑話是一種藝術方法。下面是本站小編整理的經典英語笑話，歡迎大家閱讀!

　　經典英語笑話一：A Smart Housewife

精明的家庭主婦

A smart housewife was told that there was a kind of stove which would only consume half of the coal she was burning. She was very excited, and said: "That' ll be terrific! Since one stove can save half of the coal, if I buy two, no coal will be needed!"

一位精明的家庭主婦聽人說有一種爐子用起來可以比她現在用的爐子省一半的煤。她聽了大爲興奮，說：“那太好了!一個爐子可以省一半的煤，那麼如果我買兩個爐子的話，不就可以把煤全都省下來了嗎?”

　　經典英語笑話二：Logic Reasoning

邏輯推理

A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson on logic.

"Here is the situation," she said. "a man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yelling for help. His wife hears the comMotion, knows that he can't swim, and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank?"

　　經典英語笑話三：A girl raised her hand and asked, "to draw out all of his savings?"

小學四年級的教師正在給學生們上一堂邏輯課。

她舉了這麼一個例子：“有這樣一種情況，一個男人在河中心的船上釣魚，突然失去重心掉進了水裏。於是他開始掙扎並喊救命。他的妻子聽到了他的喊聲，知道他並不會游泳，所以她就急忙跑向河岸。誰能告訴我這是爲什麼?”

一個女生舉手答道，“是不是去取他的存款?”

[注]bank在英語中除了我們平時很熟悉的“銀行”之外，還有“河岸”的意思。

　　經典英語笑話四：Does the dog know the proverb,too?

狗也知道這個諺語嗎?

The little boy did not like the look of the barking dog.

"It's all right," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: Barking dogs don't bite?"

"Ah, yes," answered the little boy. "I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?"

一個小男孩非常不喜歡狗狂叫的樣子。

“沒有關係，”一位先生說，“不用害怕，你知道這條諺語嗎?‘吠狗不咬人’。”

“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道嗎?”

　　經典英語笑話五：The New Teacher

George comes from school on the first of September.

9月1日， 喬治放學回到家裏。

George, how did you like your new teacher? asked his mother.

“喬治，你喜歡你們的新老師嗎?” 媽媽問

I didn't like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too.....

“媽媽，我不喜歡，因爲她說3加3得6, 可後來又說2加4也得6。”

　　經典英語笑話六：The Fish Net

Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?

“你能告訴我魚網是什麼做的嗎，安?” 老師發問道。

A lot of little holes tied together with strings. replied the little girl.

“把許多小孔用繩子栓在一起就成了魚網了。”小女孩回答道。

　　經典英語笑話七：Another 40 Years to live

A middle aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God, she asked if this was it. God said, "No you have another 43 years, 2 months, and 8 days to live." Upon recovery the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face lift, lip-suction, breast augmentation, tummy tuck, etc. She even had someone come in and change her hair color, figuring since she had so much more time to live, she might as well make the most of it. She got out of the hospital after the last operation and while crossing the street was killed by an ambulance speeding to the hospital. Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 40 Years? "God replied, "I didn't recognize you."

一名中年婦女心臟病突發被送到了醫院， 在手術檯上，瀕臨死亡之際，她看到了上帝， 於是，她問上帝是不是她的日子到頭了。 上帝回答說，“還沒有，你還能活43年，2個月零8天。” 身體快要康復的時候，這名女士想到自己還要活那麼多年，得好好對待自己，於是決定先不出院，而是去給自己整整容，吸吸脂，隆隆胸，然後還做了一個腹部拉皮和其它一些美容美體手術。 她甚至還請人到醫院裏面幫她頭髮給染了。 做完最後一個手術，這位女士出院了， 但就在過馬路的時候，她被一輛風馳電摯趕回醫院的救護車給撞死了。 再一次，她又站到了上帝的面前，她大惑不解地問上帝，“我記得你說我還能再活40年?” 上帝回答，“那個時候我沒認出你來”。