經典爆笑笑話
幽默寓於笑話之中，它是笑話的精料，智慧之所在。笑話是幽默的載體，一個成功的笑話能流傳千古，聽者和講者都會感到快樂、欣喜，拍掌叫好!下面是本站小編整理的經典爆笑笑話，歡迎大家閱讀!
經典爆笑笑話一：Two roaches 兩隻蟑螂
Two roaches were munching on garbage in an alley when one engages a discussion about a new restaurant."I was in that new restaurant across the street," said one. "It's so clean! The kitchen is spotless, and the floors are gleaming white. There is no dirt anywhere--it's so sanitary that the whole place shines.""Please," said the other roach frowning. "Not while I'm eating!"
兩隻蟑螂正在一條小巷的垃圾堆上大吃着，其中的一隻談起了它在一家新開張的餐館裏的經歷。“那時我在街對面的那家新餐館裏，”它說。“那裏太乾淨了!廚房沒有一點污漬，地面閃着白光。任何地方都沒有垃圾。那裏是如此乾淨，整個地方都在發光。”“請不要在我吃東西的時候說這個好嗎?”另一隻蟑螂不悅地說。
經典爆笑笑話二：我需要器官移植
The patient is adamant. "Doc, I need a liver transplant, a kidney transplant, a heart transplant, a cornea transplant, a spleen transplant, a pancreas trans. . ." "What makes you think you need all these?" Well, replied the patient, "My boss said if I wanted to keep my job I needed to get reorganized."
這個病人顯得很堅決。“醫生，我需要做肝臟移植、腎臟移植、心臟移植、角膜移植、脾臟移植、胰腺移植和……” “你爲什麼認爲你需要做這麼多移植手術?”病人回答：“哦，是這樣，我的老闆說如果我這個人不重新組裝的話，就別想保住我的工作!”
經典爆笑笑話三：埋在花園裏的槍
Guns Buried in the Garden An old man lived alone in Northern Ireland. His only son was in prison. The old man wanted to plant some potatoes in his garden but he didn't know anyone who would help him plow up the garden. He wrote to his son about it, and received this reply, "For HEAVENS SAKE, don't dig up that garden, that's where I buried the GUNS!" At 4 AM the next morning, a dozen British soldiers showed up and dug up the entire garden, but didn't find any guns. Confused, the man wrote to his son telling him what happened and asking him what to do next. His son's reply was: "Just plant your potatoes."
一個老人獨居在北愛爾蘭，他的獨生子正在坐牢。老人想在花園裏種些土豆，但不知道誰可以幫忙把泥土翻鬆。他寫信想兒子提及此事，兒子回信說道：“看在上帝的面上，千萬不要翻鬆花園的泥土，我把槍埋在那兒了。”第二天凌晨4點，一隊英國士兵出現在老人家中，在花園把土地翻遍，但並沒有找到任何槍支。” 老人寫信告訴兒子這件奇怪的事情，問到底發生了什麼事情，下一步應該怎麼做。 兒子回信道：“你只管種土豆好了。”
George is a little monkey. He lives in a deep forest. He likesjumping and climbing trees. He is happy every day. But he has ashortcoming. He is curious.
喬治是一隻小猴子。他住在大森林裏。他喜歡在樹上跳來跳去，爬上爬下。他整天都樂呵呵的。但是他有個毛病，就是太好奇。
One day an old man goes by the forest. He carries a lot of straw hats. George sees the man, and the man sees George, too. The man says to himself, “What a lovely monkey! I will catch him. I will take him home.”
一天， 一個老人路過大森林，他帶着許多草帽。喬治看見了這個老人，老人也看見他了。老人自言自語道：“多可愛的猴子啊!我要捉住他，把他帶回家去。”
The man sits down and thinks over. George sees and also sits down.
老人坐下來。想着辦法。喬治看見了，也坐下來。
The man has an idea. He puts a hat on his head, and puts other hats on the ground. Then he pretends to sleep.
不一會老人有個辦法，他戴上一頂帽子，又把其他帽子放在地上，然後假裝睡覺。
George is curious and looks at the hats. “I will be nice if I put a hat on my head.” George thinks. Then he climbs down from the tree, picks up a hat and puts it on. The hat is too big, and covers George’s eyes. George can’t see. And the man gets up at once, rushesout and catches him quickly.
喬治很好奇，看看帽子，心想：“要是我戴上一頂，肯定好看。”於是爬下樹，撿起一頂帽子戴在頭上。可是帽子太大了，遮住了他的眼睛了。那個老人一下站起來，衝過去，迅速地捉住喬治。
經典爆笑笑話五：Poor George!
可憐的喬治啊!
兒童英語笑話故事：狼和狗
There is a wolf. He is very hungry and has no strength to find food. As he lies under a large tree, a dog sees him. The dog sees the wolf is so thin and hungry, and he feels sorry for him and says, “You are so terrible! Are you hungry?”
有一隻狼，他非常餓，而且餓得沒有力氣去找吃的了。當他躺在一棵大樹下時，一隻狗看見了他。看到狼又餓又瘦，狗挺可憐他的：“你看上去真可怕。你很餓啊?”
“Yes,” says the wolf, “I’m hungry because you are guarding the sheep. Now I am so weak that I can’t find food. I think I will do.”
“是的。”狼說，“我餓是因爲你和你的夥伴看守着羊羣。現在我弱得沒法去找食物。我想我就快要死了。”
“Why not help me?” Asks the dog, “I work regularly and I eat regularly. You could do the same. You can help me guard the sleep. In that way, I will not worry about your stealingthe sheep, and you will not worry about going hungry. It’s good for us.
“爲什麼不幫我呢?”狗說，“我們按時工作，準時吃飯。你也行的。你可以幫我看羊羣。那樣我就不用擔心你會來偷羊，你也不用擔心捱餓了。這對我們都有好處。”
The wolf thinks it over and thinks the dog is right. So they walk to the dog’s house. As they are walking, the wolf sees that only the hair of the dog’s neck is very thin. He iscurious about this. So he asks the dog about it.
狼考慮了一下，覺得狗說的對，他們就一起朝狗的屋子走去了。正走着，狼看見口脖子上的毛很少。他覺得好奇，就問狗怎麼回事。
“Oh, don’t worry about that,” says the dog, “It’s the place where the collar ties on the neck. My master chains me up at night.”
“啊，別擔心，”狗說，“這是系狗項圈的地方，晚上主人會把我拴起來。”
“Chained up!” shouts the wolf, “Do you mean that you are chained up at night? If I come to live with you, will I be chained up at night, too?”
“拴起來?”狼叫起來，“你是說晚上你會拴起來?如果我去和你住，晚上也會被拴起來?”
“That’s night,” says the dog, “But, you’ll get used to it.”
“沒錯，”狗說，“但是你會習慣的。”
“But, if I am chained up, I won’t be free.” After saying this, the wolf turns round and runs away.
“但是，如果被拴起來，我就不自由了。”說完，狼轉身跑了。
The dog shouts, “Wait! Come back! I’m not free, but I’m healthy. I have good food, and a warm place to sleep. I like enjoying life. In fact, I’m freer than you are.”
狗大聲喊道：“等等!回來!我是不自由，可是我很健康，我有好的食物，有個溫暖的地方睡覺。你太喜歡享受生活了。我其實比你還自由些。”
