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海倫·凱勒自傳《我的生活》第28期

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海倫·凱勒自傳《我的生活》第28期

Miss Fuller's method was this: she passed my hand lightly over her face, and let me feel the position of her tongue and lips when she made a sound. I was eager to imitate every motion and in an hour had learned six elements of speech: M, P, A, S, T, I. Miss Fuller gave me eleven lessons in all. I shall never forget the surprise and delight I felt when I uttered my first connected sentence, "It is warm." True, they were broken and stammering syllables; but they were human speech. My soul, conscious of new strength, came out of bondage, and was reaching through those broken symbols of speech to all knowledge and all faith.

富勒小姐的授課方法是這樣的:她把我的手輕輕地放在她的臉上,這樣,當她發音的時候,我就能觸摸到她的舌頭和嘴脣的位置。我如飢似渴地模仿老師的每一個口形,只用了一個小時,我就學會了六個字母的讀音:M,P,A,S,T,I。富勒小姐總共給我上了十一堂課,我永遠也忘不了開口說出第一句話時的驚訝和喜悅,那句話是“天很暖和”。當然,這句話說得結結巴巴,但它的確是人類的語言。在靈魂深處,我感受到了一股掙脫了某種束縛的新生力量。此刻,它正在穿越那些斷裂的音節,奔向所有的知識和所有的信念

No deaf child who has earnestly tried to speak the words which he has never heard—to come out of the prison of silence, where no tone of love, no song of bird, no strain of music ever pierces the stillness—can forget the thrill of surprise, the joy of discovery which came over him when he uttered his first word. Only such a one can appreciate the eagerness with which I talked to my toys, to stones, trees, birds and dumb animals, or the delight I felt when at my call Mildred ran to me or my dogs obeyed my commands. It is an unspeakable boon to me to be able to speak in winged words that need no interpretation. As I talked, happy thoughts fluttered up out of my words that might perhaps have struggled in vain to escape my fingers.

沒有一個聾啞孩子會用心學習他不曾聽過的詞語——那些詞語來自於“無聲的牢獄”,那裏聽不到柔情細語,沒有鳥兒的歌唱,也沒有音樂的旋律能穿透寂靜——但是,當他開口說出平生第一個單詞時,他就會忘掉所有的驚懼,進而沉浸在發現的喜悅之中。也只有帶着這種感恩之心,我才能同我的玩具、石頭、樹木、飛鳥和不會說話的動物們交談。當聽到我召喚的米爾德萊德跑到我跟前,或者聽到我命令的狗兒作出正確反應,我內心的喜悅就會溢於言表。對我來說,能夠迅速地說出我想要表達的話而無須翻譯,這的確是一種難以言說的恩賜。當我說話時,愉快的思緒就會翩然而至。當然,這很可能是我爲逃脫手指的束縛而做的徒勞抗爭。

But it must not be supposed that I could really talk in this short time. I had learned only the elements of speech. Miss Fuller and Miss Sullivan could understand me, but most people would not have understood one word in a hundred. Nor is it true that, after I had learned these elements, I did the rest of the work myself. But for Miss Sullivan's genius, untiring perseverance and devotion, I could not have progressed as far as I have toward natural speech. In the first place, I laboured night and day before I could be understood even by my most intimate friends; in the second place, I needed Miss Sullivan's assistance constantly in my efforts to articulate each sound clearly and to combine all sounds in a thousand ways. Even now she calls my attention every day to mispronounced words.

不過,在如此短的時間內學會講話還是令人難以想象的。事實上,我只是掌握了講話的要素而已。雖然富勒小姐和蘇立文小姐明白我說的話,但是大部分人並不知道我在說什麼,我說一百個詞,他們未必能聽懂一個詞。這當然稱不上真正的語言,就是說,在我學習了這些要素之後,其餘的技能就要靠我自己去摸索了。多虧了蘇立文小姐的天才之舉,以及她孜孜不倦的奉獻精神,否則,我是無法在學習自然講話的過程中取得進步的。首先,要想讓我最親密的朋友們聽懂我說的話,我必須要夜以繼日地加強練習;其次,我需要蘇立文小姐的持續幫助,就是說,讓她幫我糾正每一個發音,然後再用上千種方式將所有的音節組合在一起。直到現在,她仍會在日常交流中提醒我讀錯的音。

All teachers of the deaf know what this means, and only they can at all appreciate the peculiar difficulties with which I had to contend. In reading my teacher's lips I was wholly dependent on my fingers: I had to use the sense of touch in catching the vibrations of the throat, the movements of the mouth and the expression of the face; and often this sense was at fault. In such cases I was forced to repeat the words or sentences, sometimes for hours, until I felt the proper ring in my own voice. My work was practice, practice, practice. Discouragement and weariness cast me down frequently; but the next moment the thought that I should soon be at home and show my loved ones what I had accomplished, spurred me on, and I eagerly looked forward to their pleasure in my achievement.

聾啞學校的所有老師都知道這意味着什麼,對於我偏向虎山行的勇氣,他們也表示出了贊同意見。在閱讀課上,我完全依靠手指來感受老師嘴脣的動作:我用觸覺感知喉嚨的振動,口腔的開啓和老師的面目表情。在通常情況下,觸摸的方式總是出錯。因此,我只能強迫自己一遍遍重複單詞或句子,有時候,這種重複過程會持續好幾個小時,一直到發音正確爲止。我的作業就是練習,練習,再練習。氣餒和厭倦的情緒時常困擾着我,但是一想到我即將回到家裏,向親人們展示我取得的進步,我的信心就會大增。我渴望與家人們共同分享我的學習成果。