經典科幻文學:《 基本上無害 Mostly Harmless》 第3章1

The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy has, in what we laughingly call the past, had a great deal to say on the subject of parallel Universes. Very little of this is, however, at all comprehensible to anyone below the level of Advanced God, and since it is now well-established that all known gods came into existence a good three millionths of a second after the Universe began rather than, as they usually claimed, the previous week, they already have a great deal of explaining to do as it is, and are therefore not available for comment on matters of deep physics at this time.

過去（沒錯，“過去”這詞兒說起來的確有些可笑），《銀河系漫遊指南》對於平行宇宙發表過蠻多的看法。只不過其中幾乎沒有什麼大家能夠理解的內容，除非你已經至少達到了高階神仙的等級，可是既然現在已經證據確鑿，所有已知的神仙都是在宇宙整整百萬分之三秒之後纔出現的，而並非像他們通常宣傳的，是在宇宙之前一個星期，因此他們自己也已經是滿腦門子官司，眼下實在沒工夫跑來對深度物理學發表什麼評論。

One encouraging thing the Guide does have to say on the subject of parallel universes is that you don't stand the remotest chance of understanding it. You can therefore say 'What?' and 'Eh?' and even go cross-eyed and start to blither if you like without any fear of making a fool of yourself.

不過，《指南》對平行宇宙倒也說了些很鼓勵人的話，其中之一就是，想理解它你門都沒有，所以你大可以問人家“什麼？”，還有“呃？”甚至一瞪眼滿嘴胡說八道也沒關係，無論怎麼搞你都不需要擔心自己會顯得像個大傻瓜。

The first thing to realise about parallel universes, the Guide says, is that they are not parallel.

《指南》說，關於平行宇宙，你要意識到的第一件事就是，它們不是平行的。

It is also important to realise that they are not, strictly speaking, universes either, but it is easiest if you try and realise that a little later, after you've realised that everything you've realised up to that moment is not true.

嚴格來講，它們其實也不是宇宙，意識到這一點同樣重要，但如果你稍後再試着去意識這個會更容易些，也就是說應該等你意識到目前爲止你所意識到的一切都大錯特錯的時候。

The reason they are not universes is that any given universe is not actually a thing as such, but is just a way of looking at what is technically known as the WSOGMM, or Whole Sort of General Mish Mash. The Whole Sort of General Mish Mash doesn't actually exist either, but is just the sum total of all the different ways there would be of looking at it if it did.

它們之所以不是宇宙，是因爲任何一個宇宙其實都不是我們想的那麼回事。宇宙，應該是對學名WSOGMM的那種東西的一種看法——WSOGMM也就是全體各色總雜燴。全體各色總雜燴其實也不存在，它只不過是如果它存在就會出現的各種看待它的方式的總和。

The reason they are not parallel is the same reason that the sea is not parallel. It doesn't mean anything. You can slice the Whole Sort of General Mish Mash any way you like and you will generally come up with something that someone will call home.

而它們之所以不是平行的則跟海之所以不平行是一個道理。這沒有任何意義。隨便你怎麼切來割去，全體各色總雜燴最後都會變成一種可以被某人稱之爲家的東西。

Please feel free to blither now.

如果你現在覺得自己很想破口大罵一番那就請便吧。