雙語散文:異國的陽光
異國的陽光
What day is it today? Is it Tuesday or Thursday? This thought raced through her mind as she sat back with her studentsgoing over the lesson that never seemed to end. Didn't I just do this yesterday? Or was it a year ago? Hell, everything seemed to jumble together anymore. "Miss Smith can I go to the bathroom?" Jorge asked, as he proceeded to jump from one foot to another, holding himself. How many times have I heard this? She wondered as she abruptly said, "Yes" and watched as he raced out of the room.
Sitting at the table she gazed at her students while thinking of what she would do after work. Maybe I'll go to the gym or stop at the market for something to eat tonight. Mechanically she continued with her lesson on the short letter "a" with her students. "The letter "a" makes what sound?" "a, a, a", the students sang together going through the empty motions. The clock dragged away the minutes teasing her with the tediousness of the day.
Won't it end? She thought as the phone rang out its morse code for her room. Sighing she stood up and walked through the maze of students desks to get to the phone. Picking up the receiver the other voice seemed a hundred miles away. Oh, how I wish I were anywhere but here. Her mind wandered to the hot exotic beach of Cabo, Mexico, where she had spent her last summer break. She still remembered the cool breezes that caressed her skin as she lay on the gritty sand.
"Miss Smith did you hear me?" the secretary annoyingly asked her. "Oh, sorry. What did you say?" "Can you send Carla to the office?" the secretary impatiently asked. "Oh, course" she replied as she hung up the phone. She turned from the phone and yelled out Carla's name. Carla, who was one of the many who always seemed so needy that were in her class this year. Carla looked up from her desk, her hair hanging like a matted displaced doll. Her face was lined with dirt that gave her the appearance of one of those munchkins from the Wizard of Oz. "You need to go to the office", she said while Carla slowly rose from her desk. "Why do I have to go?" whined Carla. "It's between you and the office—just go up" she hastily turned her back as Carla walked out of the room. Like having free school uniforms is the answer. It would be nice if just once someone called saying something nice or thanking me for all the endless crap I have to deal with. With a sigh she walked back to her other students who were clustered at the back table patiently waiting her return. The rest of the afternoon blurred into one long endless repetition. Finally the bell rang as a relief. As she led her students out the door they walked behind her as baby chicks returning to their fold. She noticed that their mother hens clucked to them behind the iron gate. As she proceeded to walk down the corridor, the air, which rose with the musical tingle of Spanish coloring everything that touched it, greeted her. She watched with a touch of envy as the children left her to return to those homes that probably were filled with laughter and warmth while she would once again return to the same endless march of boredom.
"Senora, un momento por favor" She turned her head and noticed the small shriveled man, his brown face lined with a map to places only he knew. "Thanks for helping my grandson Julio to read" the gentleman said in his faltering broken English. She immediately thought of Julio, who once as unreachable as a hardened walnut, slowly cracked opened to reveal the eager child inside. She thought of the inner struggle Julio must have had as he tried to make sense of the foreign letters and the sudden joy when he had unbroken the mysterious code. Was the grandfather the same? She looked up at this elderly gentleman, probably his grandfather, and quickly recognized the sameness of the two. "Gracias Senora" a weathered hand came out and firmly grasped hers with warmth that radiated from his soul to hers. Just as abruptly he removed his hand and left her. As he walked away she thought of that exotic sun and realized maybe it was closer to her than she thought.
今天是星期幾？星期二還是星期三？她和學生進行那似乎永無休止的複習，課間休息時，這個念頭在她腦子裏轉了好幾圈。我是不是昨天才做完？或者那已是去年的事了？該死，好像什麼事都攪到一塊兒來了。“史密斯小姐，我可以去一下洗手間嗎？”喬治正要邁腿，又停下問道。我是第幾次聽到這個了？她想着這個問題，隨即說道：“去吧”，看着他跑出了教室。 她坐在桌邊，眼睛盯着學生，腦子裏卻在想，下了班該去哪裏。也許該去健身，或者去市場買點東西晚上吃。她機械地上着課，給學生講字母“a”。“‘a’怎麼念？”“a, a, a”學生們齊聲乾巴巴地念着。時鐘一分分過去，似乎在嘲笑她這沉悶的一天。
該結束了吧？她正想着，教室的電話響了。她嘆了一口氣，站起身來，穿過學生的課桌去接電話。拿起話筒，那一端的聲音似乎從100英里以外傳來。天，要是身處異地該多好！。她神遊到了充滿異國情調的墨西哥卡波海灘，去年暑假她就是在那兒度過的。她仍記得慵懶地躺在沙灘上，任習習涼風親吻自己的肌膚。
“史密斯小姐，你在聽我說話嗎？”祕書有點生氣地問道。“哦，對不起，你剛纔說什麼？”“叫卡拉到我辦公室來一下。”祕書更不耐煩了。“哦，好的。”她邊說邊掛了電話。她轉過身來叫着卡拉的名字。卡拉是今年她班上許多貧困學生之一。卡拉擡起頭，鬆散的頭髮像一篷亂草。滿臉泥垢的她看起來像《綠野仙蹤》裏的芒虛金。“你去一趟辦公室。”當卡拉慢慢擡起頭的時候，她說道。“爲什麼要我去？”卡拉囁嚅道。“去了就知道。快去吧。”她隨即轉過身，卡拉出去了。她是去領免費的校服的。如果能有人打電話來，說些好聽的話或者感謝我做的這些討厭的工作就好了。她嘆了口氣，回到後排那一羣正耐心等着她的學生。
整個下午都在不斷重複着這不盡的單調。最後，救命的鐘聲終於敲響了。她帶着學生走出了教室，就像母雞帶着小雞回窩似的。她看到學生的媽媽正在鐵門後熱切等待着他們。當她穿過走廊的時候，那帶着西班牙音樂氣息的空氣迎面撲來。她羨慕地看着孩子們離開她，回到充滿歡笑和溫暖的家，而自己卻不得不再次回到這無盡的單調與無聊之中。
“您好，夫人，打擾你幾分鐘。”她轉過頭看到一個窘迫的男人，棕色的臉上佈滿了皺紋。“謝謝您對我孫子胡里奧的幫助。”他用蹩腳的英語說道。她立即想起了胡里奧，曾經外表看來那麼不可接近，後來慢慢地敞開了一個孩子熱切的內心世界。胡里奧一定暗暗努力想學好外文，並且每次進步都能令他欣喜不已。這位祖父也是這樣嗎？她擡頭看着這位也許是胡里奧祖父的老人家，很快就意識到他們兩人之間的共通之處。“謝謝您，夫人。”他伸出一隻飽經風霜的手，緊緊握住她，他的熱情深深地感染了她。他很快又縮回了手，走開了。當他離開時，她想到了異國的陽光，而且明白，異國的陽光其實並不遙遠。
