成爲"年輕的祖母"好處有多少?
A little over a year ago, I would probably have dismissed Amanda Holden’s newly revealed ambition to become a “young grandMother” as absurd.
近日英國女演員兼《英國達人》評審阿曼達•霍爾頓（Amanda Holden）表示希望自己能做個“年輕的祖母”。一年多前，我也許會認爲這個想法很荒謬。I would have raised my eyebrows and frowned (something Amanda herself might find hard to do) at the idea that the 43-year-old actress and Britain’s Got Talent judge was interested in anything other than turning back time.
當時要是聽到這位43歲的演員只熱衷於讓時光倒流，我也許會揚起眉毛、眉頭深鎖。What woman – I used to think – would seriously be anxious to undergo the most ageing experience of her life? Particularly Ms Holden, who was pictured just days ago slipping out to supper in white shorts and six-inch stilettos?
我過去常想什麼樣的女人會真的擔心衰老呢？霍爾頓就是個例子，媒體幾天前拍到她身穿白色熱褲，蹬着6英寸的細高跟鞋外出吃晚餐。
“Young grandmother”, I always thought, was the ultimate contradiction in terms.
我一直認爲“年輕的祖母”是個最自相矛盾的說法了。But 12 and a half months after the arrival of my granddaughter Edie, I now know how wrong I was – and how right Amanda is to worry that she won’t get to be a granny until she is 80. Far from turning my hair grey and hastening the advent of false teeth and Tena Lady Pants, grandparenting has been ridiculously rejuvenating and made me just a little smug that – unlike Amanda and an increasing number of other women today – I had children in my twenties (Amanda had her first daughter at 34 and her second at 41).
12個半月前，我的孫女伊迪(Edie)的降世，我才意識到自己真是大錯特錯。阿曼達擔心自己80歲才能當上祖母完全是有道理的。現在，我離滿頭白髮、一口假牙和穿成人紙尿褲的歲數還有好長一段時間。作爲一個祖母，我仍然神采煥發，這讓我慶幸自己在20多歲就生了小孩，而不像阿曼達和越來越多的女性那樣推遲生育（阿曼達34歲生第一個女兒，41歲生第二個女兒）。Indeed the “Edie Effect” on my life – for which, thank you, Bryony and Harry – has turned out to be the most marvellous anti-ageing procedure anyone could imagine, to a point that is very nearly infantile (particularly when my granddaughter and I are crawling round the house together whooping with laughter).
的確“伊迪效應”（Eddie Effect）（這點我真得感謝我的女兒和女婿）讓我體驗了他人無法想象的逆生長經歷，尤其當我和孫女一塊在房子四周爬來爬去大聲歡笑時，我甚至覺得自己回到了嬰兒時期。More uninhibited and less pressured as a young grandmother than I was when I was a young mother, I can live in the moment with Edie, happily spending hours sitting in the garden looking for “birdies” (her favourite thing right now) and singing along with Igglepiggle and Upsy Daisy as we watch In the Night Garden on CBeebies (a programme that makes Mummy ill).
與剛當上母親那會相比，我現在更加無拘無束，也沒什麼壓力。我可以活在當下，花上幾個小時和伊迪一起坐在花園裏找“小鳥兒”（這是伊迪現在最喜歡的東西），看動畫片《花園寶寶》(In the Night Garden on CBeebies)時跟着“花園寶寶”一起唱歌。Sadly, though, the pleasure and privilege of being a young grandmother is something that more and more women will miss out on as the move to later motherhood continues (three babies a week are now being to women in their sixth decade).
遺憾的是，由於越來越多女性推遲生育年齡（現在每週出生的嬰兒中平均有三個是60歲年齡段女性所生），她們無法享受年輕祖母的快樂和好處了。As a result, among my own peer group (women in their sixth decade!) there are clear signs of the development of “granny envy”.
所以看得出來，我的同齡人（60多歲的女性）明顯在羨慕那些當祖母的人。It is only with my friends who are also grandmothers that I can really relax and talk with undiluted sentimentality about the beauty and the brilliance of “my Edie Bear”.
我只有和那些同樣當了祖母的朋友在一起時才能真正放心暢談我漂亮聰明的孫女。Just as motherhood is a universal bond, so is grand-motherhood – and, yes, maybe there is an element of competition also, that makes me sometimes check myself when I overhear the oft-repeated words: “Oh, she’s so bright/adorable/funny/beautiful…”
和母愛一樣，祖母對孫輩的感情也同樣強烈。當然了，也許也有競爭的因素作祟，所以有時候,當我無意間聽到那些不斷提及的溢美之詞時，例如“哦，她太聰明瞭”、“真可愛！”、“太有趣了”或“真漂亮”，有時我總是會忍不住沾沾自喜。But there is a practical and quite serious reason, too, for Amanda Holden’s admitted desire to be a young grandmother. In an age when financial pressure means that both parents often have to work and child care is so prohibitive, granny (and granddad) provide a vital support.
不過就阿曼達•霍爾頓想早點當上祖母這件事來說，也有實際和嚴肅的考慮。現在人們的經濟壓力很大，父母不得不忙於工作而無法照料孩子，祖母（和祖父）能提供重要幫助。Britain’s 9.8 million-strong army of us look after our grandchildren for an average 8.2 hours a week (saving our children between £1,659 and £2,437 a year).
英國980萬的“祖父母軍團”每週平均照料祖孫8.2個小時（每年能爲子女省下1659至2437英鎊。）And while in your fifties and sixties you are mentally alert enough to cope with things such as collapsing and reassembling a Bugaboo Cameleon, operating a digital baby monitor or using the microwave steam steriliser, you might have trouble in your seventies and eighties.
五六十歲的時候，你還能有很好的精神狀態來拆分或組裝嬰兒車、操縱嬰兒監控器或使用微波蒸汽消毒機，但到了七八十歲的時候，幹這些事可能就沒這麼輕鬆了。Being a hands-on granny demands a degree of physical fitness, too, that may be beyond those who have health problems.
當一個親力親爲的祖母意味着要有個好身體，而有健康問題的人可能就沒辦法勝任了。On the plus side, for the young granny this physical effort can make a welcome alternative to the punishing regimes non-grannies still endure (who needs Bikram yoga or Pilates when you can have a hilarious “babyweight” workout dancing Edie round the room to the tune of Pharrell Williams singing Happy?)
當年輕祖母的一個好處是，你可以把帶孩子當成一種鍛鍊，不用像那些沒當上祖母的同齡人那樣費力地運動。（和伊迪這樣一個孫女一起隨着美國歌手法瑞爾•威廉姆斯（Pharrell Williams）的歌《快樂》（Happy）在房子四周跑跑跳跳，誰還需要練熱瑜伽呢？）On the downside, of course, we young grandmothers do still have to cope with the prejudices of the rest of society: those who will call you “Granny” in a way that is beyond patronising and seem to think that your only possible interests in life are baking, knitting, gardening and Saga holidays.
當然，這也有壞處。我們這些年輕的祖母還是不得不面對社會上的一些偏見：那些屈尊俯就地叫你一聲“奶奶”的人似乎認爲我們的生活樂趣只不過是烘焙、織毛衣、照料花園和隨團旅行。But if the rest of the world might think you are past it, your darling little grandchild has no conception of age. Indeed, he or she offers you the kind of adoration (and endless cuddles) that more than makes up for the ageism of grown-ups – and, what’s more, gives you the strength to blow raspberries back at them.
但就算整個世界都認爲你老得不中用了，你可愛的孫子或孫女可沒有年齡的概念。他們對你的那種尊敬（和數不盡的擁抱）很好地彌補了成年人對你的年齡歧視，還讓你信心滿滿地予以還擊。
