不健康的戀愛習慣

While it can be difficult to recognise signs of an unhealthy relationship when it is your own, it is important to take the occasional step back and assess whether you’re happy with how things are between you and your partner.

雖然審視自己的戀愛關係並承認有不健康的跡象是很困難的，但偶爾後退一步，回想自己和另一半相處時開不開心也是很重要的。

Users on question-and-answer website Quora have been discussing certain habits that could be warning signs of a toxic relationship.

在問答網站Quora上，用戶們一直在討論一些不健康的戀愛習慣。

Here are some of the habits that were mentioned the most:

下列是討論最多的習慣：

1) Keeping score

1）不斷記錄

Quora user Howie Reith suggested that noting down past mistakes or arguments and then bringing them up again to be used as ammunition is "bad for several reasons". "It is manipulative… it fosters bitterness, and it deflects discussion of whatever issue has caused the present fight," he wrote.

Quora用戶豪伊·裏思建議道：將過去犯下的錯誤或爭論記下來，然後每次吵架時再舊事重提以作爲自己的有利武器是“不利的”。“這是一種操縱別人的行爲，會帶來痛苦，同時也從當前的爭吵轉而回到爭吵舊事，”他寫道。

2) Holding the relationship hostage

2） 動不動就拿分手說事

Does every minor hiccup and effort to communicate seem to lead to the threat of an end to the relationship? Writer Mark Manson said such "emotional blackmail" created unnecessary drama and forced people to suppress their true feelings, which in turn leads to distrust and manipulation.

是不是每一次小小的困難或是未能及時溝通都有可能導致這段關係終結呢？作家馬克·梅森說道這種“情感勒索”會引起不必要的戲劇性情節，迫使人們抑制自己的真實情感，反過來就會導致不信任和操縱。

3) Being passive aggressive

3）被動攻擊

Rather than saying exactly what is bothering them, a partner finds petty ways to imply their significant other that they don’t understand or are being deliberately slow on the uptake. If both parties are communicating properly, there is no need for that kind of behaviour.

這種人不會說出自己的困擾，而是會從很多小方面向另一半來暗示他們沒有理解，或故意表示不明白。如果雙方都有效溝通的話，這種行爲就沒有必要了。

4) Buying "solutions"

4）夠買良方

Using material goods as a way to “make up” for past mistakes gives the recipient subconscious incentive to cause further problems, and again discourages proper communication and resolution. Howie Reith writes that one partner will then feel like a cash machine, while the other will well as though their problems are not being heard properly.

用物質的東西補償犯下的過錯，這會讓收禮物的人有一種鬧大矛盾的下意識，並且阻礙了有效的溝通和解決方案。豪伊·裏思寫道：之後戀愛一方就會覺得自己是個取款機，另一方就會覺得心滿意足，儘管他們之間的問題並沒有得到妥善解決。

5) Jealousy

5）嫉妒

Anonymous writes: "When your partner expects to be told where you are and who with at all times, as though you are not to be trusted."

匿名人士寫道：“你的另一半總是想要知道你在哪，你和誰待在一起，就好像你不值得被信任一樣。”