諾貝爾文學經典:《寵兒》第3章Part 9

"I asked you who brought you here?"
"I wAlked here," she said. "A long, long, long, long way. Nobody bring me. Nobody help me."
"You had new shoes. If you walked so long why don't your shoes show it?"
"Paul D, stop picking on her."
"I want to know," he said, holding the knife handle in his fist like a pole.
"I take the shoes! I take the dress! The shoe strings don't fix!" she shouted and gave him a look somalevolent Denver touched her arm.
"I'll teach you," said Denver, "how to tie your shoes," and got a smile from Beloved as a reward.
Paul D had the feeling a large, silver fish had slipped from his hands the minute he grabbed hold of its tail. That it was streaming back off into dark water now, gone but for the glistening marking itsroute. But if her shining was not for him, who then? He had never known a woman who lit up fornobody in particular, who just did it as a general announcement. Always, in his experience, thelight appeared when there was focus. Like the ThirtyMile Woman, dulled to smoke while hewaited with her in the ditch, and starlight when Sixo got there. He never knew himself to mistakeit. It was there the instant he looked at Sethe's wet legs, otherwise he never would have been boldenough to enclose her in his arms that day and whisper into her back.
This girl Beloved, homeless and without people, beat all, though he couldn't say exactly why,considering the coloredpeople he had run into during the last twenty years. During, before andafter the War he had seen Negroes so stunned, or hungry, or tired or bereft it was a wonder theyrecalled or said anything. Who, like him, had hidden in caves and fought owls for food; who, likehim, stole from pigs; who, like him, slept in trees in the day and walked by night; who, like him,had buried themselves in slop and jumped in wells to avoid regulators, raiders, paterollers,veterans, hill men, posses and merrymakers. Once he met a Negro about fourteen years old wholived by himself in the woods and said he couldn't remember living anywhere else. He saw awitless coloredwoman jailed and hanged for stealing ducks she believed were her own babies.

“我問你是誰帶你來這兒的？”
“我走來的，”她說，“好長、好長、好長、好長的一條路。沒人帶我。沒人幫我。”
“你穿着新鞋。你要是走了這麼長的路，怎麼從鞋子上看不出來？”
“保羅·D，別再挑她毛病了。”
“我想知道。”他說道，把刀把兒像根旗杆似的攥在手中。
“我拿了鞋子!我拿了裙子!這鞋帶系不上!”她叫嚷着，那樣惡毒地瞪了他一眼，丹芙不禁輕輕去摸她的胳膊。
“我來教你，”丹芙說，“怎麼繫鞋帶。”她得到了寵兒投來的一笑，作爲獎賞。
保羅·D覺得，他剛抓住一條銀亮亮的大魚的尾巴，就讓它從手邊滑脫了。此刻它又遊進黑暗的水中，隱沒了，然而閃閃的魚鱗標出了它的航線。可是她的光芒如果不是爲他，又是爲誰而發的呢？他見過的女人，沒有一個不是爲了某個特定的人容光煥發，而只是泛泛地展示一番。憑他的經驗而論，總是先有了焦點，周圍才現出光芒。就說“三十英里女子”吧，同他一起等在溝裏的時候，簡直遲鈍得冒煙兒，可西克索一到，她就成了星光。他還從未發現自己搞錯過。他頭一眼看見塞絲的溼腿時就是這種情形，否則他那天絕不會魯莽得去把她擁在懷中，對着她的脊背柔聲軟語。
這個無家無親的姑娘寵兒，可真是出類拔萃，儘管把二十年來遇見過的黑人琢磨個遍，他都不能準確地說出爲什麼。戰前、戰後以及戰爭期間，他見過許多黑奴，暈眩、飢餓、疲倦或者被掠奪到了如此地步，讓他們重新喚起記憶或說出任何事情都是個奇蹟。像他一樣，他們躺在山洞裏，與貓頭鷹爭食；像他一樣，他們偷豬食吃；像他一樣，他們白天睡在樹上，夜裏趕路；像他一樣，他們把身子埋進泥漿，跳到井裏，躲開管理員、襲擊者、劊子手、退役兵、山民、武裝隊和尋歡作樂的人們。有一次，他遇到一個大約十四歲的黑孩子獨自在林子裏生活，他說他不記得在別處住過。他見過一個糊里糊塗的黑女人被抓起來、絞死，因爲她偷了幾隻鴨子，誤以爲那是她自己的嬰兒。