狄更斯雙語小說:《董貝父子》第55章Part2
'No matter. Everyone to his task. Were there any other horses ordered at the Post-house?'
'A thousand devils! - and pardons! other horses? at this hour? No.'
'Listen, my friend. I am much hurried. Let us see how fast we can travel! The faster, the more money there will be to drink. Off we go then! Quick!'
'Halloa! whoop! Halloa! Hi!' Away, at a gallop, over the black landscape, scattering the dust and dirt like spray!
The clatter and commotion echoed to the hurry and discordance of the fugitive's ideas. Nothing clear without, and nothing clear within. Objects flitting past, merging into one another, dimly descried, confusedly lost sight of, gone! Beyond the changing scraps of fence and cottage immediately upon the road, a lowering waste. Beyond the shifting images that rose up in his mind and vanished as they showed themselves, a black expanse of dread and rage and baffled villainy. Occasionally, a sigh of mountain air came from the distant Jura, fading along the plain. Sometimes that rush which was so furious and horrible, again came sweeping through his fancy, passed away, and left a chill upon his blood.
The lamps, gleaming on the medley of horses' heads, jumbled with the shadowy driver, and the fluttering of his cloak, made a thousand indistinct shapes, answering to his thoughts. Shadows of familiar people, stooping at their desks and books, in their remembered attitudes; strange apparitions of the man whom he was flying from, or of Edith; repetitions in the ringing bells and rolling wheels, of words that had been spoken; confusions of time and place, making last night a month ago, a month ago last night - home now distant beyond hope, now instantly accessible; commotion, discord, hurry, darkness, and confusion in his mind, and all around him. - Hallo! Hi! away at a gallop over the black landscape; dust and dirt flying like spray, the smoking horses snorting and plunging as if each of them were ridden by a demon, away in a frantic triumph on the dark road - whither?
Again the nameless shock comes speeding up, and as it passes, the bells ring in his ears 'whither?' The wheels roar in his ears 'whither?' All the noise and rattle shapes itself into that cry. The lights and shadows dance upon the horses' heads like imps. No stopping now: no slackening! On, on Away with him upon the dark road wildly!
He could not think to any purpose. He could not separate one subject of reflection from another, sufficiently to dwell upon it, by itself, for a minute at a time. The crash of his project for the gaining of a voluptuous compensation for past restraint; the overthrow of his treachery to one who had been true and generous to him, but whose least proud word and look he had treasured up, at interest, for years - for false and subtle men will always secretly despise and dislike the object upon which they fawn and always resent the payment and receipt of homage that they know to be worthless; these were the themes uppermost in his mind. A lurking rage against the woman who had so entrapped him and avenged herself was always there; crude and misshapen schemes of retaliation upon her, floated in his brain; but nothing was distinct. A hurry and contradiction pervaded all his thoughts. Even while he was so busy with this fevered, ineffectual thinking, his one constant idea was, that he would postpone reflection until some indefinite time.
Then, the old days before the second marriage rose up in his remembrance. He thought how jealous he had been of the boy, how jealous he had been of the girl, how artfully he had kept intruders at a distance, and drawn a circle round his dupe that none but himself should cross; and then he thought, had he done all this to be flying now, like a scared thief, from only the poor dupe?
He could have laid hands upon himself for his cowardice, but it was the very shadow of his defeat, and could not be separated from it. To have his confidence in his own knavery so shattered at a blow - to be within his own knowledge such a miserable tool - was like being paralysed. With an impotent ferocity he raged at Edith, and hated Mr Dombey and hated himself, but still he fled, and could do nothing else.
Again and again he listened for the sound of wheels behind. Again and again his fancy heard it, coming on louder and louder. At last he was so persuaded of this, that he cried out, 'Stop' preferring even the loss of ground to such uncertainty.
The word soon brought carriage, horses, driver, all in a heap together, across the road.
'The devil!' cried the driver, looking over his shoulder, 'what's the matter?'
'Hark! What's that?'
'What?'
“Monsieur在這黑咕隆咚的深更半夜已走了好長的一段路啦。”
“不要緊。每個人都有自己的愛好。有沒有別人在驛館要馬的？”
“一千個魔鬼在搗亂！請原諒！有沒有別人要馬？在這種時候？沒有。”
“聽着，我的朋友。我十分着急。讓我們看看我們能往前趕得多快！趕得愈快，您得到的酒錢就會愈多。出發吧！快！”
“嗨！嗬！嗨！嘿！”馬飛快奔馳起來，越過了黑暗的原野，把塵土踢得像浪花似地四處飛揚！
馬蹄的得得聲和馬車的搖晃反映出逃亡者慌忙與混亂的思想。他身外的一切是模糊不清的，他心中的一切也是模糊不清的。物體在迅速飛過，彼此融合，模糊難辨，在紛雜混亂中不見了，消失了！在路旁不斷變化着的零零落落的籬笆與村舍外面，是一片昏暗的荒地。在他心中出現而又立即消逝的變動的形象外面，是一個廣袤無邊的世界，充滿了恐懼、憤怒和未能得逞的奸詐。偶爾，從遙遠的侏羅山脈山風的呼嘯聲，在平原上逐漸消失。有時他在想象中覺得那猛烈的、可怕的恐怖又猛襲過來，吹刮過去，使他的血都變冷了。
車燈發射出微光，照射在晃動着的馬頭上，它與身影模糊的車伕以及他的飄動的上衣混雜交錯，形成了上千種模糊不清的形狀，這與他的思想狀態倒是十分相似的。那些熟悉的人們的身影，以他所記得的姿態，彎着身子，坐在辦公桌和帳冊前面；他從他那裏逃出來的那個人或伊迪絲呈現出奇怪的幻影；在鈴鐺聲與車輪聲中，那些過去說過的話現在正在不斷重複說着；時間與地點的概念混亂了：昨夜好像是一個月以前，一個月以前又好像是昨夜；家鄉一會兒遠在天邊，一會兒又近在眼前；動盪，紛爭，慌忙，黑暗，他心中和他的周圍全都是一片混亂。--嗨！嘿！在黑暗的原野上飛快地奔跑過去；塵土像浪花般飛揚，渾身冒着熱氣的馬噴着鼻息，向前猛衝，彷彿每匹馬背上都騎着一個魔鬼似的，在發狂似的勝利中在黑暗的道路上飛奔過去--奔向哪裏去呢？
那不可名狀的驚恐又加速襲來；當它過去的時候，鈴鐺在他耳朵裏響着：”到哪裏去？”飛輪在他耳朵裏轟鳴着：”到哪裏去？”所有的喧鬧與聲響都在重複着這同一個喊聲。燈光和影子像頑童似地在馬頭上跳舞。現在決不能停下來；現在決不能放慢速度！向前，向前！在黑暗的道路上拉着他瘋狂地向前奔跑！
他不能按照任何一個特定的目的來思考。他不能把一個思考的問題與另一個思考的問題分開，要想每次對一個問題細想一分鐘也不可能。他本想得到肉慾的滿足來補償自我抑制方面的損失，這一打算已經破滅了；有一個人曾經真誠地、寬洪大量地對待他，但是他的高傲的言語與神色他好多年來一直銘記在心（因爲虛僞與狡猾的人經常在暗地裏輕視與厭惡他們所奉承的對象，經常憎恨他們所表示的尊敬，他們知道那是毫無價值的），他對這個人的叛逆已經失敗了；--這些是首先浮現在他心中的問題。對那位使他陷入圈套、爲自己報仇雪恨的女人的憤怒一直暗暗埋藏在他的心頭；對她進行報復的各種粗略的、荒誕的計劃浮現在他的腦中；可是所有這一切都是模糊不清的。他所有這些思想全都是急急匆匆，相互矛盾的。甚至當他這樣狂熱地、無益地思考着的時候，他一直懷着一個念頭，就是他最好暫時什麼也不想，而把這些推遲到將來一個什麼不確定的時候再去考慮。
然後，在董貝先生第二次結婚之前那些往昔的日子又在他的記憶中出現。他記起他曾經妒嫉那個男孩子；他又曾經多麼妒嫉那個女孩子；他曾經多麼狡猾地在被他愚弄的人的周圍劃了一個圈子，把所有想闖進來的人阻擋在遠處；除了他本人之外，誰也不能越過它。然後他想到，他所做的這一切難道只都是爲了現在像一個被追捕的賊一樣，從那位可憐的、被他愚弄的人那裏逃走嗎？
他本可以自殺來懲罰自己的懦怯，可是這種懦怯正好就是他失敗的真正的陰影，與它是不能分開的。他相信他的詐騙計劃已被完全粉碎；他知道他已成了另一個人手中可憐的工具；想到這些他就好像癱瘓似地渾身無力。懷着無能爲力的狂暴勁頭，他對伊迪絲髮怒，他恨董貝先生，也恨他自己；可是他還是逃跑了，不能做其他事情。
他一次又一次地聽着後面的車輪聲。他一次又一次地在想象中彷彿感覺到，這車輪聲愈來愈響了。他終於對這點深信不疑，就喊道，”停下！”他寧肯停下耽誤時間，對自己不利，也不願意處在這種狐疑不定的狀態中。
這喊聲立刻使馬車、馬和馬車伕在路中間停了下來。
“見鬼！”馬車伕回過頭，喊道，”怎麼回事？”
“聽，那是什麼？”
“什麼？”
