隆胸後不滿意 向外交官求助
Help! I've just had my breasts enlarged and I don't like the new size. British embassy -- sort out my boobs!
Along with tips on jam-making and how best to discipline naughty boys, these are just a few of the bonkers requests being fired at British embassies around the world, the Foreign Office said Thursday.
The country's 261 diplomatic missions across the globe are getting fed up of bizarre demands for help from Brits abroad, some of whom seem to think the British embassy is an agency for finding lost sunglasses and paying bills.
"If you have a serious problem abroad -- maybe you've been involved in an accident, have lost your passport or are a victim of crime -- we can help you," said Juliet Maric, the British Consul in Alicante on the Spanish east coast.
"But we can't tell you who is allowed to use your swimming pool, pay your taxi fares for you -- or do anything about the exchange rate.
"We regularly get enquiries from people who think we're a one-stop-shop for any problem they might encounter while abroad; this can be frustrating as we need to focus resources on the serious cases that we're there to help with."
One lady, unhappy with the size of her newly-boosted breasts following surgery, asked if the embassy could help.
A mother asked the Florida consulate to help her teenage son pack his suitcase and give him a lift to the airport as he was feeling unwell.
One person called in consular assistance to find out what ratio of fruit to sugar should be used when making jam.
A holidaymaker in Italy asked the embassy where a particular brand of shoes could be bought.
Other requests have included asking for embassy staff to pay a bill when a credit card had "maxed out" and a traveller asking "Can you tell me how to make my naughty son behave?"
"Our embassies are not there to provide weather reports or give advice on unruly children," said consular affairs minister Chris Bryant.
"It's important that British nationals understand what the Foreign Office can and can't do for them."
求救！我剛隆完胸，但我不喜歡現在的大小。英國大使館---幫我解決一下隆胸的煩惱吧！
英國外交部本週四稱，英國駐世界各國的大使館頻繁受到愚蠢求助的騷擾，包括求教怎樣做果醬，怎樣管教淘氣的男孩等等。
英國駐世界各國的261個外交代表機構已經對海外英國人的怪異求助厭煩不已。有些海外英國人似乎認爲英國大使館還負責幫忙找墨鏡和付賬單。
英國駐西班牙東海岸阿利坎特市領事館的領事朱麗葉•馬里奇說：“如果你在國外遇到了比較大的麻煩，比如遇到意外，弄丟了護照，或者成爲犯罪受害者，那麼我們會提供幫助。”
“但我們沒辦法告訴你誰可以用你家的游泳池，給你掏打車錢，或者算匯率。”
“有些人覺得我們提供一站式服務，在國外遇到任何麻煩都可以找我們，我們經常接到這些人的詢問。這會干擾我們的工作，因爲我們需要集中精力處理那些我們應該做的正經事。”
曾有一位女士向大使館求助，因爲她對外科隆胸手術後胸部的大小不滿。
一位母親曾致電英國駐佛羅里達領事館，想找人幫她十幾歲的兒子收拾箱子，並把他送到機場。當時她的兒子身體不適。
還有人向領事助理求助，詢問在做果醬時，水果和糖按什麼比例放。
一位在意大利度假的英國人問大使館在哪裏可以買到某一種牌子的鞋。
其它怪問題還有，信用卡刷爆了，想讓大使館工作人員付賬單，還有一位旅行者問道：“能告訴我怎樣才能讓我淘氣的兒子規矩點兒？”
領事局局長克里斯•布萊恩特說：“我們的大使館不是用來預報天氣，或者告訴你怎樣管教淘氣的孩子的。”
“英國國民要弄清楚外交部能爲他們做什麼，不能爲他們做什麼，這一點很重要。”
vocabulary:
boob: a blunder; mistake, or a female breast（愚蠢的錯誤；<俗>婦女的乳房）
bonkers：mentally unbalanced; mad; crazy.（愚蠢透頂的）
max out：to reach a point at which no more improvement, profit, or benefit can occur（達到最高極限）
