林書豪親筆 關於我的頭髮

So... I have dreads now.

所以，現在我有了髒辮了。

And you probably have some questions and comments. I definitely want to hear them.

你大概會對此有一些疑問和看法，我當然是希望聽到這些的。

But first, really quick, I hope I can take you back through my journey to get them.

不過首先，我想要帶着各位快速地去回望一下我的旅程。

I never thought I'd ever think so much about hair. Honestly, at first I was surprised anyone would care what I did with my hair.

我從沒想過我對於自己的頭髮會有這麼多想法。老實說，最初我是十分驚訝居然會有這麼多人關注我對我的頭髮做了什麼。

When I started growing it out a few years ago in Charlotte, it was just something I was doing with six of my family members and friends. It was meant to be fun, and to be an expression of freedom.

幾年前在夏洛特我就開始有了這樣的想法，我爲我那六位家庭成員和朋友做頭髮，原本這些只爲了樂趣和一種對於自由的表達。

I didn't really plan for it to be anything More than that.

除此以外，我從沒預想過我這樣的做法會帶來如此的關注。

Then I kept going with it and it started to become... a thing.

隨後我就開始不斷地去“做頭髮”，然後這樣的行爲開始變成了一種……一種標誌。

Looking back, I can see why my hairstyles turned some heads. (What was I thinking here?)

回看過去，我大概知道爲什麼我的髮型會成爲焦點。

But I liked how the process of changing my look actually made me feel more like myself again.

不過我十分喜歡做髮型的過程，這過程實際上讓我更像我自己。

I realized that in the years since Linsanity, I had spent a lot of time in a box, worrying about other people's opinions on what I should and shouldn't be doing.

那時我意識到自從“林瘋狂”過去以後的那幾年，我將自己侷限在一個盒子裏似的，非常在意別人的意見，在意別人談論我應該做些什麼不應該做些什麼。

I wanted to stop basing my decisions so much on what strangers or critics might say about me.

我想要阻止這樣的事情，讓自己不要因爲陌生人或者一些評論者對我說的話而過多影響自己做的決定。

It was cool how something as simple as how I wore my hair could pull me out of my comfort zone and make me feel more free.

這很酷,做髮型能把我帶到自己感到舒適的領域當中，讓我感到更加自在，事情也變得簡單了起來。

Before I got older and had a family and kids and all of that, I wanted to be able to say to myself, Who cares what anyone else thinks?

在我擁有家庭、孩子之前，我想要能夠對自己說“誰會在意別人的想法呢？”

For me, the different hairstyles became a fun way to do that.

對於我來說，不同的髮型就是對以上那句話的體現。

People definitely had a lot of opinions about my hair. A lot of people didn't like what I was doing — they sometimes questioned my judgment. The loudest person in this camp was my own mom.

大衆對於我的髮型肯定會持有許多不同觀點，很多人不喜歡我現在所做的事情——他們有時會質疑我的判斷，在這個陣容裏頭，質疑聲最大的就是我自己的母親。

At one point, I even challenged myself to rock a double ponytail (I know, I know) just to test whether I was truly past the point of obsessing over outside approval.

有段時間，我甚至挑戰自己，去弄一個雙馬尾辮，（我知道，我知道）這麼做只是爲了測試一下自是否已經不再在意外界的評價了。

And yeah, maybe the whole thing seemed like it was a stunt to get attention.

好吧，這麼一件事看起來似乎就是爲了吸引眼球，我理解這個觀點，不過我知道那不是我的初衷。

I can understand that view... even if I knew that it wasn't my real motivation. Over time it stopped bothering me when people made fun of me — the whole point was for me to enjoy being myself, no matter the reaction.

慢慢地，外界種種都干擾不了我了，其他人也開始打趣我的頭髮——不過最終的目的還都是去做我自己，享受做我自己，不管別人有什麼反應。

There was one type of response, however, that made me pause.

然而，有一類反應讓我作出了停頓。

With my other hairstyles, the worst thing people said about them was like, "Dude, that looks dumb."

對於我的某一些髮型，人們給過最糟糕的評價是“兄弟，這看起來像一個傻子。”

But I didn't care too much. I was doing it for me.

不過，我纔不管呢，我是爲了自己而做這髮型的。

But with dreads, I came to understand that it was different.

但對於“髒辮"這種髮型，我知道這是完全不同的。

Friends would say things like, "Bro, what about appropriation?"

朋友可能會說：“兄弟，想過文化挪用的問題嗎？”

I'll be honest: At first I didn't see the connection between my own hair and cultural appropriation.

我可以誠實地說：一開始我並沒有想到過我的髮型會與文化挪用牽上關係。

Growing up, I'd only ever picked from one or two hairstyles that were popular among my friends and family at the time.

在我成長的過程中，我只弄過一兩款在我家庭朋友圈子裏所流行的髮型。

But as an Asian-American, I do know something about cultural appropriation.

不過作爲一名亞洲裔美國人，我確實知道關於文化挪用的事情。

I know what it feels like when people get my culture wrong.

當看到別人理解錯了自己的文化，這感受像什麼。

I know how much it bothers me when Hollywood relegates Asian people to token sidekicks, or worse, when it takes Asian stories and tells them without Asian people.

當好萊塢將亞洲人民都描繪成都會側踢的時候，我也真的很苦惱。更糟糕的是，當他們講述亞洲故事時，裏面卻一個亞洲人都沒有。

I know how it feels when people don't take the time to understand the people and history behind my culture.

當別人不花時間去理解其他人背後的文化與歷史的時候，你會很苦惱，我知道這種感受。

I've felt how hurtful it is when people reduce us to stereotypes of Bruce Lee or "shrimp fried rice."

當別人只知道用李小龍或者“蝦仁炒飯”來看待我背後的文化的時候，我會感到很受傷。

It's easy to brush some of these things off as "jokes," but eventually they add up. And the full effect of them can make you feel like you're worth less than others, and that your voice matters less than others.

別人很容易就會在“說笑”中提及到類似的東西，這樣種種會對你造成影響，使你感到你沒有別人有價值，你的聲音沒有別人的重要。

So of course, I never want to do that to another culture.

所以，我從沒有想過這樣去對待另外一種文化。

But I had never really deeply considered how something as seemingly personal as my hair — as an Asian-American NBA player — could affect anyone else.

不過我也從沒有考慮過一個亞洲裔美國NBA球員的頭髮，這樣一個個人的髮型會影響到其他人。

Which brings me to the dreads.

因此,我便想要去弄髒辮。

Actually, it all started with braids back in Charlotte — not dreads yet.

事實上，早在夏洛特的時候，我已經開始弄辮子頭，當時還不是髒辮。

I didn't know much about braids, but Kemba helped me out.

我對於這種辮子頭不是瞭解很多，不過肯巴（沃克）幫助了我。

He even lent me one of his do-rags because I had no idea how to care for my braids or where to get a do-rag.

他還借我一些他自己做頭髮的東西，因爲我不知道該如何處理我的辮子和不知道哪裏找到這些做頭髮的東西。

When I got to the Nets, the conversation continued.

當我來到籃網，這樣的對話持續着。

When I first signed in Brooklyn, I remember talking to Rondae about hair.

當我剛來到布魯克林，我記得我和朗戴（霍利斯-傑弗森）談過頭髮的問題。

He told me he would grow his hair out with me — and that he'd get dreads with me.

他告訴我他的頭髮長出來以後也會弄成那樣，弄一個髒辮髮型。

One time, Caris chose my braid design when I wasn't sure what to get.

有一次，當我不確定弄什麼髮型的時候，卡里斯（勒韋爾）便選擇了我的那種辮子頭髮型。

Before this season, D-Lo, DeMarre and I discussed what the process of getting dreads is like — how painful the beginning process is, whether you could still rock a hat, how to maintain them, things like that.

在這個賽季開始前，我和丹吉洛（拉塞爾）還有德馬雷（卡羅爾）說起我那弄髒辮的過程，那弄頭髮過程真的很痛苦。

I still wasn't sure. A recent conversation I had with Savannah Hart, a Nets staff member who's African-American, really resonated with me.

到了現在，我依然不確定。最近我和薩凡納·哈特（籃網的工作人員，她是非洲裔美國人）有過一段對話，她的回答讓我很有共鳴。

I told her about my thought process — how I was really unsure about getting dreads because I was worried I'd be appropriating black culture.

我告訴她在我弄髒辮之後是如何擔心，因爲我害怕我會挪用了黑人文化的東西。

She said that if it wasn't my intention to be dismissive of another culture, then maybe it could be an opportunity to learn about that culture.

她對我說，只要我不是有意輕視另一種文化的話，這可能會是學習瞭解另一種文化的機會。

Savannah introduced me to Nancy Moreau — my kind and amazing braider from the All Hair Matters Salon in Rockland County — who did my hair when I first got to Brooklyn.

然後，薩凡納向我介紹了南茜·莫羅，當我剛來到布魯克林她給我做了頭髮，她是一個非常友善和厲害的做辮子的髮型師。

Nancy is already well-known around the Nets practice facility for doing hair for myself and the Nets staff, and the players and their children. And Nancy gave me another push to go for dreads.

南茜在球隊裏頭非常出名，球隊的工作人員、球員和他們的孩子、還有我都找她做頭髮。Nancy讓我更加勇敢地去做辮子。

I took some time to think about it but still had reservations.

我思考這個問題思考了一段時間，盡然我仍有所保留。

I asked Rondae if he'd be willing to get dreads with me and he said, "Bro, I've been growing my hair out for you. Let's do it."

我問朗戴他是否願意和我一起去做髒辮，他回答說：“兄弟，我讓我的頭髮長出來就是爲了和你一起去做，來吧。”

So this weekend, Rondae and I got our hair dreaded — for eight hours straight.

所以這個週末，我和朗戴去將我們的頭髮編織起來，用了整整八個小時。

At the beginning of this article, I said I wanted to hear what you think. I truly do.

在文章的開頭，我說過我想知道你們的想法，我是認真的。

Because honestly, I may be wrong here.

因爲老實說，我可能做了一個錯誤的決定。

Maybe one day I'll look back and laugh at myself, or even cringe.

可能某一天我會嘲笑我自己，或者甚至嫌棄它。

I don't have the answers.

我還沒有準確的答案。

I don't have the answers. But I hope the thing you take away from what I'm writing is not that everyone should feel free to get braids or dreads — or that one gesture can smooth over the real misunderstandings that exist in our society around race and cultural identity. Not at all.

不過我希望在你看了我的文章之後明白並不是每個人都是隨心所欲地弄起“辮子頭”和“髒辮”，明白並不是一個簡單的手勢、標誌就能消除社會中關於種族、文化之間的誤解，並不是這樣的。

This process started out about hair, but it's turned into something more for me.

這個過程從頭髮開始，這些對於我來說意味着更多。

I'm really grateful to my teammates and friends for being willing to help me talk through such a difficult subject, one that I'm still learning about and working my way through.

我真的非常感激我的隊友和朋友，他們非常願意幫助解決這樣的問題，和我談論類似這樣的問題，我現在還在努力學習當中。

Over the course of the last few years and all these hairstyles, I've learned that there's a difference between "not caring what other people think" and actually trying to walk around for a while in another person's shoes.

在過去幾年的髮型和學習當中，我瞭解到兩者的區別——不顧他人的想法和代入到對方立場上看問題，我瞭解到這兩者的區別。

The conversations I had weren't always very comfortable, and at times I know I didn't say the right things.

我和別人關於這個問題的討論並不總是讓我感到舒服，有些時候我也知道我說出了錯誤的東西。

But I'm glad I had them — because I know as an Asian-American how rare it is for people to ask me about my heritage beyond a surface level.

但是我很高興我能有過這些對話，因爲我知道作爲一個亞洲裔美國人，相比於一些表面問題，被其他人問及關於我背後文化的東西是多麼罕見。

It's easy to take things that we enjoy from other cultures — that's one of the coolest things about a melting-pot society like ours.

我們很容易就從別人的文化中拿走那些我們喜歡的東西，這也是社會大熔爐最有趣的一點。

But I think we have to be careful that taking doesn't become all we do.

但是，我認爲我們必須要小心，我們從其他文化所拿走的東西並不就是成爲了我們自己的東西。

With all the division, political turmoil and senseless violence in our society right now, we need to talk to each other more than ever.

現在社會上有了更多的分裂、政治動亂和無謂的暴力，我們需要比以往任何時候都更需要交流。

To listen to the real concerns of someone from a different background — and not just their everyday, superficial experiences — that's pretty uncomfortable.

去聆聽來自不同背景的人的聲音和擔憂，而不是那些膚淺的對話體驗。

After Linsanity, for instance, a lot of people were excited about celebrating the underdog who happened to be a minority — which is great.

例如，在林瘋狂之後，很多人都爲這樣了不起的事發生在一個少數族羣上而感到興奮，這很好。

But when it comes to more complicated topics — like racial discrimination, police brutality or the day-to-day difficulties of being a minority — sometimes people aren't always as interested to go there.

但如果是關乎到更加複雜的問題，例如，種族歧視、警察的殘暴行爲和少數族羣的生存問題，並不是所有人都會對這類問題感興趣而參與到其中。

Taking the time and energy to ask about the things we don't know may be messy — but we don't really have a choice. We can't let our divisions get worse.

花費時間和精力去了解我們不懂的問題可能會很累，很浪費，但是我們沒有別的選擇，我們不能夠再讓分裂變得更加糟糕。

Again, I may not have gotten it right with my idea to get dreads.

再次，我決定做“髒辮”的決定可能是錯誤的。

But I hope that this is a start, not an end, to more dialogue about our differences.

但是我希望這只是一個開始，而不是一個結束，開始去開展對話。

We need more empathy, more compassion and less judgment. That takes actual work and communication.

我們需要更多的共鳴，更多的同情心和更少的（對別人的）評判，而這些需要實際的工作和溝通。

So let's start now — please join me.

因此，現在就開始吧——請加入我吧。

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this... now I'd love to hear your thoughts. Feel free to leave a comment or question on any of my social media platforms.

感謝你們花費時間來閱讀這篇文章。現在我希望能聽到你的想法，歡迎在我的社交媒體上請留下你們的看法和疑問。

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