五種方式這樣經營友情

Friends in your life are like pillars on your porch. Sometimes they hold you up and sometimes they lean on you. Sometimes it's just enough to know they're standing by. Friendship doubles your joy and divides your grief, and that the Most beautiful discovery that true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart.

在你的一生中，朋友就如支撐門廊的柱子，有時他們支持着你，有時也依賴着你。只要你知道他們一直在你身邊就已足夠。友情會使你的快樂翻倍，讓你的痛苦減半。而最重要的發現是真正的朋友不會因爲分隔兩地而產生隔閡。

Easily the most important place to have a friend is in marriage. For that reason, marriage counselors continually advise husbands and wives to be friends, pointing out that you may divorce your spouse, but you don't divorce your friend.

我們很容易想到，最喜歡朋友角色的地方就是婚姻。因此，許多婚姻顧問都建議丈夫和妻子成爲彼此的朋友，因爲你可以離開你的伴侶，但你絕對不會離開你的朋友。

Friendship stabilizes relationships in the business and social worlds as well. A friendship is priceless and should be cherished, cultivated, and nurtured.

友情同樣在職場和社交生活中起穩固作用。友情無價，它需要被珍惜，培養和經營。

1. Remembering the golden rule

1. 牢記黃金準則

Without a doubt, the greatest human relations principle is to treat other people like you want to be treated. Friendship requires many qualities — unselfishness, genuine care for the other person, and the ability to listen when the other person needs to talk, to name a few. When you show respect for your friends and gratitude for their friendship, you'll be blessed in untold ways.

毋庸置疑，最堅不可摧的待人原則就是待人如己。友情需要許多品質：對他人無私，真誠的關懷，當他人需要時傾聽對方的心聲。當你表達對朋友的尊重和對這份友誼的感恩之情時，對你的庇佑和祝福也會通過各種方式來到你身邊。

You can't know what has gone on in the rude person's life that day, but you can assume that his or her day hasn't gone well. Maybe a loved one lost his job, her boss reprimanded her unjustly, he's coming down with the flu, or she just found out that her teenager is doing drugs.

也許你的朋友那天表現得非常粗魯無禮，你也許不知道在他身上到底發生了什麼，但你可以假設他/她過得並不開心。也許是愛人失業了，也許是她的老闆訓斥她辦事不公，可能是他染了流感，抑或是她剛發現自己的孩子在吸毒。

Whatever the cause of the rudeness, you don't have to accentuate the problem. A kind word or a gentle, understanding Smile may help the person more than returned rudeness would.

無論是什麼理由讓他/她如此野蠻無禮，你也不需要去強調人家的錯誤。比起同樣粗魯的行爲，用一句友好的問候、一個善解人意的笑容作爲迴應，更能幫助他們。

2. Considering foes as friends

2. 視敵爲友

A friend looks after your own good, is attached to you by affection, and entertains other sentiments of esteem. On the other hand, a foe is someone who isn't interested in your well-being.

朋友會照顧你的利益，因爲彼此的情感而重視支持你，認真對待你的情緒。相反，敵人不會在意你的幸福。

Yet some students view their teachers as enemies. However, a student's success in school partly depends on the teacher's effectiveness in the classroom. Instead of being an enemy, a teacher who corrects you and helps you to achieve can be the best friend you ever had.

有些學生把他們的老師視爲敵人。但是一個學生在學校裏的成功部分是取決於老師在課堂上的成效。不要把他們當敵人，幫助你糾正錯誤取得成功的老師應該是你擁有的最好的朋友！

This kind of thinking, along with a little attitude adjustment, helps you to convert foes to friends, and both of you are better off.

這種思維方式伴隨你態度上的轉變，會幫助你將敵化友，而你們雙方也會感覺舒服很多。

3. Making friends by being an optimist

3. 樂觀達人廣交好友

Do you enjoy being around a pessimist, someone who is generally described as being able to brighten up a room just by leaving it? The answer is obvious. Most people prefer to be around people who believe that tomorrow is going to be better than today, rather than people who believe that today is even worse than yesterday.

你喜歡和一個悲觀主義者呆在一起嗎？那種一離開房間大夥兒就開心地不得了的人？答案顯而易見。大多數人願意和相信明天會更好的人交朋友，而不是那些哀嘆今天比昨天更糟的人。

Optimists spread cheer wherever they go and make others feel good about themselves. That's a guaranteed way to make friends.

樂觀達人們所到之處都能傳播歡笑，也使他人喜歡自己。這是結交朋友的一個保證條件哦！

4. Capturing the pleasing personality

4. 培養討人喜歡的個性

Virtually every time you say that so-and-so has "charisma," you're really talking about so-and-so's great personality. When he walks into a room, he has a presence — not just looks — that attracts attention from people around him. Or when she's in a crowd, you soon hear a soft buzz coming from the area where she is.

事實上，當你每次讚美某某有風範氣質時，你其實就是在談論他迷人的個人魅力。當他走進房間，他的存在（不單單是他的長相）就會吸引在場的人。或者是即使當她在蜂擁的人羣中，你也能很快聽到其悅耳的聲音從她所在的地方傳來。

How do you develop a pleasing personality? Here are some steps you can take:

如何才能使培養討人喜歡的性格呢？下面有幾個步驟：

Smile when you see someone. You don't have to give a wide grin — just a pleasant, friendly smile.

遇到他人時微笑。你不需要哈哈大笑，只需要一個愉悅友好的微笑。

Speak in a pleasant, upbeat tone of voice. Talk to people as if they are good friends, even if they don't really fall into that category yet.

用積極向上的語氣和人交談。說話時把每個人看成你的朋友，即使他們根本還算不上是你的朋友。

Take a course in public speaking. The ability to express yourself attracts favorable attention from many sources.

進修公共演講課程。表達能力會使你吸引到四面八方的注意。

Develop a sense of humor. Pick up a couple of joke books. This makes you a little more outgoing and friendly. When you combine that quality with the ability to express yourself before a group, your confidence grows.

培養自己的幽默感。選擇幾本笑話書，這會使你更加開朗和友好。當你把這樣的品質和表達能力在一羣人面前展現出來時，你的自信就會提升。

Don't criticize unjustly

不要不公正地批判他人

Instead of being eager to dish out criticism all the time, take the humane, sensible approach. Look for the good in other people. Encourage them. Build them up.

不要總是急於將你對朋友的批評一股腦兒倒出來，試試採用更親切也更理智的方式。試試去尋找其他人身上的優點，鼓勵他們，幫助他們建立自信。

Most people seldom think through each situation completely and consider the other person's point of view. If you take the time and effort to do this, you'll end up with more friends.

大多數的人很少徹底地想清楚對方的情況，考慮別人的意見。如果你花點時間和精力去做到這一點，你就會有更多的朋友。