迷失在道師城的丹尼斯霍珀

In the late 1960s at the height of his career, Dennis Hopper left Hollywood for artistic bohemia in New Mexico. His daughter looks back on a man in search of free expression and a more contemplative way of life.

20世紀60年代末，丹尼斯·霍珀(Dennis Hopper)在事業頂峯之際離開好萊塢，到新墨西哥追求波西米亞的文藝生活。他的女兒回憶了這個男人如何追求表達自由與更富於思省的生活方式。

My father, Dennis Hopper, believed that being on the road in search of something was very American. You had to keep moving forward no matter what. Ride into town, gunfight at high noon, then off into the sunset. “Easy Rider,” he said, was really a western with motorcycles instead of horses: bad boys, bikers and beads.

我的父親丹尼斯·霍珀相信，上路追尋某些東西是非常美國化的事情。你得一直向前，不管是往什麼地方走，駛進小鎮，在正午拔槍決鬥，然後消逝在夕陽之下。他說，《逍遙騎士》(Easy Rider)是一部真正的西部片，只是用機車取代了馬兒，片中有壞男孩、機車騎手和串珠項鍊。

Traveling by car is the only way to get around if you live in sunny California. In 1969, I got to drive with my dad, his then-girlfriend, a willowy Native-American beauty named Felicia, our friends Bob and Toby Rafelson and their kids, Julie and Peter, to a seemingly faraway place called Taos, N.M. My father had discovered Taos during one of his many scouting trips for “Easy Rider,” which he had shot the year before.

如果你住在陽光明媚的加利福尼亞，開車是唯一的旅行方式。1969年，我和父親一起開車出遊，同行的還有他當時的女朋友，一個寡居的美國土著美女，名叫弗莉西亞(Felicia)，此外還有我們的朋友鮑勃(Bob)和託比·拉菲爾森(Toby Rafelson)及他們的孩子，朱莉(Julie)與彼得(Peter)，我們要去新墨西哥一個似乎很遙遠的地方，名叫道師城(Taos)。父親一年前曾多次旅行，爲《逍遙騎士》尋覓外景地，就是在那時發現了道師城這個地方。

My dad was 32. I was 6.

那年父親32歲，我6歲。

We had all piled into the Rafelsons’ maroon Pontiac station wagon with its prominent wood siding first thing that morning. My mother, Brooke Hayward, had purchased the identical car right when the Rafelsons bought theirs. Since she and my father had divorced after he made “Easy Rider,” she was absent when we departed. I was grateful to miss out on a complicated goodbye.

那天早晨，我們的第一件事是把所有東西都堆進拉菲爾森一家的紅褐色帕蒂亞克旅行車，這款車有著名的木質側板。他們買這輛車的時候，我媽媽布魯克·海沃德(Brook Hayward)也買了一輛一模一樣的。父親拍完《逍遙騎士》後，他倆就離婚了，我們出發時她沒有來。謝天謝地，我躲過了一場複雜的告別。

According to my dad, Taos was sacred. It was the land of American Indians and their mountains, their beautiful Pueblo and their blue lake, which was meant to be so spiritual you could land in Tibet if you bore a hole through the bottom of it. He also told me more than once that rattlesnakes refused to go to Taos because of its extraordinarily high altitude. They instinctively knew not to travel past Santa Fe.

爸爸說，道師城是個神聖的地方。那裏是美國印第安人的領地，坐落着他們的山巒、他們美麗的村莊和他們的藍色湖泊，這裏神聖到——如果從這兒給地球鑽一個孔，另一頭就是西藏。他還不止一次地告訴我，響尾蛇都不願到道師城去，因爲那裏地勢非常高，它們本能地知道不要到聖塔菲去旅行。

As we drove, my father rattled off the names of adventurers who had populated the Taos landscape over the years — artists, writers and activists like D. H. Lawrence, Dorothy Brett, Mabel Dodge Luhan and Millicent Rogers, who had resided there since the 1920s. They didn’t seem like regular people but figures out of myth, characters who had bucked society to find their own way in their own world, forming a grand community of outsiders, together. Sounded good to me. No snakes — just artists, mountains and Native e Dennis’s stories floated through the car, Julie and Peter and I bunked in the back of the station wagon, covered in old quilts and Pendleton blankets. It was a time of no seatbelts, no five-point harnesses. Freedom.

我們開車途中，父親一連串地報出那些近年來定居道師城的冒險者們的名字——其中有藝術家、作家和社會活動家，諸如D·H·勞倫斯(D.H. Lawrence)、多蘿西·布萊特(Dorothy Brett)、梅布爾·道奇·盧漢(Mabel Dodge Luhan)和米利森特·羅傑斯(Millicent Rogers)，他們從20年代就住在這裏了。他們不是普通人，而是在那裏尋找神祕，是那種抵制社會，在自己的世界中尋找自己道路的人，他們建立了大社區，把那些同社會格格不入的局外人聚集在一起。我覺得聽上去挺不錯——沒有蛇，只有藝術家、羣山和土著美國人。丹尼斯講的故事在車廂裏迴盪，朱莉和彼得還有我躺在車子後座，身上蓋着舊被子和彭得頓毯。那時候還沒有安全帶，沒有兒童安全座椅。真是自由自在。

Along the way, we stopped to buy moccasins and visit the Grand Canyon and the Canyon de Chelly and the Petrified Forest, where we were told not to take anything or we would go to jail. Even so, inspired by Dennis’s campfire car tales, I stuffed my pockets with small pieces of petrified wood. I was on a road trip. It was an adventure.

一路上，我們停下來買莫卡辛鞋，遊覽大峽谷、徹裏峽谷和石化森林。在石化森林，我們被告知不許帶走任何東西，否則就要坐牢。儘管如此，在丹尼斯的篝火汽車故事鼓舞之下，我還是在兜裏裝滿了小片石化木。我可是在做公路旅行呢。這是一場冒險。

Back in the car, we looked out the windows over the course of the drive and watched the world change and fade into the colors of a desert moonscape with cactuses and red dirt and mountains in the distance. I had seen this horizon before, most probably on “Bonanza,” on which my father had been a guest star in 1964. When he finished working on the show, he would arrive home with arms filled with rubber cactuses and boulders — with which he extensively decorated the backyard of our house on 1712 North Crescent Heights in the Hollywood Hills. I loved those pieces, marveled at how much they looked like the real thing and delighted in being able to lift a huge boulder high above my head to throw at one of my brothers in a moment of childish frenzy.

回到車裏，我們沿途觀看車窗外的景色，看到世界在改變，漸漸褪變爲月球表面般的沙漠色調，到處都生長着仙人掌，地上是紅土，遠處山巒起伏。我曾經見過這樣的景色，或許是在《富礦》(Bonanza)裏，1964年，父親曾在這部電視劇中客座出演。工作結束，他會抱着一大堆橡膠製成的仙人掌和巨石回來，裝飾我家後院（我們住在好萊塢山北克雷森特高地1712號）。我喜歡那些東西，它們看上去那樣栩栩如生，令我驚歎；徒手舉起一塊巨石，孩子氣地向兄弟們扔過去，又讓我開心不已。

Once we arrived in Taos, we stayed at the Kachina Lodge. Giant-size kachina dolls stood guard outside the hotel over the miniature versions housed inside. Some were adorned with feathers, others with tiny turquoise and silver jewelry. Julie and I found them all deeply enchanting. At this time, Taos was a wonderfully sleepy Southwestern town nestled at the foot of the beautiful Sacred Mountain. I was in awe of the particularly carved wooden pillars that were placed in front of many houses and buildings, and of the unique hand-painted beams inside them. The smell of burning firewood was ubiquitous, and carefully applied murals made one feel as though each home was a stand-alone one-of-a-kind.

到達道師城後，我們呆在克奇納小屋。這家旅館外面矗立着巨大的克奇納神娃娃，守衛着它，屋裏也有小的克奇納娃娃。有些裝飾着羽毛，有些裝飾着綠松石和銀首飾。朱莉和我覺得它們很迷人。道師城一直是個慵懶的西南小鎮，坐落在美麗的聖山腳下。鎮上許多房子和建築前面都有雕刻的木頭柱子，屋裏還有獨特的手繪房樑，讓我感到敬畏。到處都有燒柴火的味道，精美的壁畫讓人覺得每一家都獨一無二。

A year later, in 1970, my father bought Mabel Dodge Luhan’s Taos house, Los Gallos, from her granddaughter, with all of Mabel’s original furnishings inside. He also rented the house Mabel had built for her husband, Tony Luhan, on land next door that belonged to the Taos Pueblo. Los Gallos was a place where (from the 1920s to the 1950s) Mabel had invited artists, dancers and writers like Martha Graham, Ansel Adams, Willa Cather and Marsden Hartley to participate in the artist colony she had created there. Mabel had great flair for mixing up pieces of furniture she had brought to Taos from her time living in Florence, with Navajo rugs and pottery as well as fine Venetian silks and Fortuny fabrics.

一年後，也就是1970年，父親從梅貝爾·道奇·盧漢的孫女手中買下她在道師城的房子，這棟房子名叫洛斯·加洛斯，梅貝爾原來的陳設都保留下來了。他還租了梅貝爾爲丈夫託尼·盧漢建造的房子，旁邊緊挨着道師城的印第安村落。從20年代到50年代，梅貝爾邀請瑪莎·格拉罕姆(Martha Graham)、安塞爾·亞當斯(Ansel Adams)、薇拉·卡瑟(Willa Cather)和馬斯登·哈特利(Marsden Hartley)等藝術家、舞蹈家和作家來洛斯加洛斯，加入她創立的藝術家村。梅貝爾有極高的傢俱混搭天分，她把居住在佛羅倫薩期間買的傢俱同這裏的納瓦霍地毯和陶器，以及威尼斯絲綢和弗圖尼織物組合在一起。

After he bought that house, my father decided to live in Taos and leave L.A. for good, and following in Mabel’s steps, to create a creative counterculture where his friends — artists, actors, musicians — could come and gather in the Mud Palace, as he liked to call it. Los Gallos had more than 10 bedrooms, a guesthouse and a carriage house — plenty of room to have friends come and cross-pollinate their ideas. He wanted to set up an editing room so he could work on “The Last Movie.” He also bought the old Taos movie theater, El Cortez, across from the Ranchos de Taos church, and used it to screen different cuts of the movie as he was finishing it.I returned to the Mabel Dodge Luhan house year after year — or whenever my mother would let me. When I was born, my dad had meandered through L.A. a classic Hollywood preppy, clad in T-shirts and khakis with his sneakers worn through at the toes, often covered in paint from the art he was making, camera slung around his neck. He was always proud to sport a new Brooks Brothers raincoat — even if it wasn’t raining. As the 1960s progressed, he headed for the Southwest and hippiedom, in terms of style. Lacoste shirts gave way to mandalas. He wrapped himself head to toe in denim, man bag invariably in tow. And then, as the ’70s set in, my father’s style began to incorporate touches of a deeply cool American maharaja.

買下這棟房子之後，父親打算離開洛杉磯，永久定居道師城，學習梅貝爾的樣子，建立一個創意反文化據點，他的朋友們——藝術家、演員和音樂家——可以在這裏相聚，他打算把這個地方叫做“泥巴宮”。洛斯加洛斯有10個以上的臥室，一個客房和一個馬車房，足夠朋友住下，彼此交流思想。他希望設立一個剪輯室，供他剪輯《最後一部電影》(The Last Movie)。他還買下了了道師城的老影院艾爾·科特斯，它就坐落在道師城蘭喬教堂對面，在他製作《最後一部電影》期間，在這家影院放映過好幾次這部片子的不同版本。年復一年，我都會來到梅貝爾·道奇·盧漢的房子——只要媽媽讓我來我就過來。我出生的時候，爸爸在洛杉磯到處閒逛，是個典型的好萊塢預科生模樣，穿T恤衫，卡其布褲子，破舊的帆布鞋磨破了，漏出了腳趾頭，他就用自己畫的畫遮住，相機掛在脖子上。他總是驕傲地穿着一件嶄新的布魯克斯兄弟牌雨衣，就算不下雨的時候也不例外。在60年代期間，他追求西南和嬉皮的風尚。鱷魚牌襯衫換成了曼陀羅。全身穿的都是牛仔布，男士包也是少不了的。後來到了70年代，父親的風格開始有了酷酷的美國王公的感覺。

Turquoise stones crowned his belt buckles and Stetsons, every surface bejeweled with royal abandon. He wore coats woven from Navajo blankets lined in sheepskin. One day he showed up at our house at 1712 with Michelle Phillips (before marrying her in Taos for eight days) on his way to the Academy Awards. They were dressed in matching velvet ensembles. By that time, my father, who had begun our first trip to New Mexico by telling stories about the wonderful characters in Taos who filled up the town, had become one of them, every bit as colorful as D. H. Lawrence or Millicent Rogers at the height of their power.

他的皮帶扣和斯泰森氈帽上點綴着綠松石，所有物件上都裝點着珠寶，外套上編着納瓦霍地毯的花紋，裏面用帶毛的羊皮襯裏。一次，出席奧斯卡頒獎禮路上，他帶着米歇爾·菲利普斯(Michelle Phillips)出現在我們1712號的家裏（後來他們在道師城結婚，婚姻只維持了八天），兩人穿着配套的絲絨衣服。還記得我們第一次去新墨西哥旅行時，父親講了那麼多關於住在那裏的精彩人物的故事，如今他也成了其中的一員，和D·H·勞倫斯或米利森·羅傑斯一樣豐富多彩，置身權力頂峯。

As the ’70s wore on, the vibe changed. The big bohemian party began to tilt off the rails. The Mud Palace artists’ colony, at one time inspiring and experimental, became unfamiliar. One morning Dennis went down to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee and found he didn’t know a single person in his kitchen. He fled and went to live in the Tony Luhan property next door. Once, I saw a pistol on the living room table. When I told my dad I was scared of guns, he told me, “Not to worry. I just used the gun to shoot my Andy Warhol ‘Mao’ painting. I fired a warning shot.”

隨着70年代的流逝，風潮也在改變。巨大的波西米亞派對開始走偏。泥巴宮的藝術家聚居地曾經富於實驗性，爲人們帶來靈感，此時也開始變得陌生。一天早晨，丹尼斯走進廚房做咖啡，發現廚房裏的人他一個也不認識。他走出去，住進隔壁託尼·盧漢的房子。又一次，我看見起居室的桌上放着一把手槍。我告訴爸爸我害怕槍，他說：“別擔心，我只是用槍來打安迪·沃霍爾(Andy Waorhol)的《毛》(Mao)畫像。我這是鳴槍警告。”

Though in a manner of speaking he had been voted off his own island by a bunch of strangers, he refused to abandon his beloved Taos and kept going, marrying the extraordinarily beautiful dancer and actress Daria Halprin. They had my sister Ruthanna, and my dad opened a gallery called Dennis Hopper Works of Art, which he carefully curated. The openings were fantastic happenings with the likes of Allen Ginsberg and Kris Kristofferson in attendance. One time, he had white T-shirts printed with turquoise squash blossoms around the collar to celebrate a new showing of an artist’s work. Friends I grew up with in Taos still have theirs — and wear them. But then, after my father and Daria divorced a few years later, he retreated into solitude. He withdrew from his family. He withdrew from himself.

儘管在某種程度上，他是被一羣陌生人放逐出了自己的島嶼，但他沒有放棄心愛的道師城。他繼續生活在這裏，娶了美麗的舞蹈演員兼電影演員達利婭·哈爾普林(Daria Halprin)，生下了我妹妹盧森娜(Ruthanna)。爸爸還開了一家畫廊，名叫“丹尼斯·霍珀藝術館”，並悉心經營着它。開幕式非常熱鬧，有艾倫·金斯堡和克里斯·克里斯托弗森(Kris Kristofferson)之類人物光臨。有一次，爲了慶祝一個藝術家的新展覽，他向人們分發領子周圍畫着松石色南瓜花的白T恤衫。和我在道師城一起長大的朋友們還保留着這些T恤，還在繼續穿。但是後來，父親和達利婭離婚幾年後，他保持獨身，遠離家庭，越來越孤僻。

The Mabel Dodge Luhan house was eventually sold, its furniture packed up piecemeal. Despite a brief but fabulously demented cameo in “Apocalypse Now,” Dad remained lost in Taos, until he resurfaced, years later, sober, as the oxygen-huffing madman Frank Booth in “Blue Velvet.”

梅貝爾·道奇·盧漢的房子最後終於被賣掉了，傢俱也拆了。儘管在《現代啓示錄》(Apocalypse Now)中有過短暫卻又精彩而瘋狂的客串出演，父親一直迷失在道師城，直到多年後他清醒地重新露面，在《藍絲絨》(Blue Velvet)中飾演吸氧的瘋子弗蘭克·布思(Frank Booth)。

He did eventually return to Taos, transforming the El Cortez theater into his home and art studio. He had the upstairs projection room made into his bedroom. A window in front of his bed looked directly out on his beloved Ranchos Church, the same church that Georgia O’Keeffe famously painted years before. He went there to paint and to see friends, many of whom, like Dean Stockwell, Larry Bell, Kenny Price and Ron Cooper, were artists he knew from the ’60s, who lived and had their studios there.

最後他還是回到了道師城，把艾爾·科特斯影院改成了自己的家和藝術工作室。他把樓上的放映室改成臥室。從牀前的窗子能看到他深愛的蘭喬教堂，幾年前，喬治亞·歐姬芙(Georgia O’Keeffe)在這裏作畫的事情聞名一時。他也到那裏畫畫，看望朋友，其中許多人，比如迪恩·斯托克威爾(Dean Stockwell)、拉里·貝爾、肯尼·普萊斯(Kenny Price)和羅恩·庫珀(Ron Cooper)都是他從60年代就認識的，他們現在都住在這裏，擁有自己的工作室。

Ultimately, he chose to be buried in Taos. After an emotional ceremony near the Ranchos church, his coffin was lowered into the sacred ground as a band of Hell’s Angels lovingly gunned the engines of their motorcycles in a final tribute. And my father rode off into the sunset for good.

最終他也選擇埋葬在道師城。葬禮在蘭喬教堂附近舉行，令人傷感，棺槨被葬在教堂墓地，在最後的儀式上，有一羣“地獄天使”騎着機車鳴槍致意。我的父親就這樣永遠消逝在夕陽之下。