To break bad habits 如何改掉壞習慣

你的新年願望中，有沒有改掉之前的壞習慣這一條呢？我們每年都要花很多時間和精力與壞習慣做鬥爭，但改掉惡習是一項艱難的任務，並且沒有捷徑可走。下面就來看看怎樣才能儘快和壞習慣說再見吧。

A habit is any action that we have performed so often that it becomes almost an involuntary response. If we consider this habit to be undesirable then we may label it a "bad habit". People spend countless hours and dollars each year attempting to break these bad habits and often do not have any success. Why? Because there is no magic bullet. Change is hard work and there is no short cut to achieving it. The steps a person needs to take, however, can be very simply outlined. To effect a change in habits, one needs to bring the action back into the realm of consciousness and regain the ability to make choices. 

習慣是一個經常做的下意識動作。如果我們認爲這是不良的習慣,那麼我們就標籤它是一個“壞習慣”。人們每年花了無數的時間和金錢努力去改掉這些壞習慣，但通常都是不成功的。爲什麼?因爲沒有靈丹妙藥。改變是很困難的，是沒有捷徑的。然而，需要遵守的步驟可以很簡單地概括。要改變習慣，需要有意識的行動並且重新恢復做決定的能力。

What's the payoff？

回報是什麼？

The first step in breaking a bad habit is to look at why you find this action so compelling. In other words, what's the payoff for doing this seemingly negative thing? Since you've already classified this as a "bad" habit you may be tempted to say there isn't one. But look closer. There is always a payoff. Let's say your bad habit is yelling at your kids. What's in it for you? You let off some steam and feel a little better for the moment. Or you have a bad habit of leaving the dishes unwashed? The payoff could be that you get to spend more time on the Internet!

改變不良習慣的第一步是看看爲什麼你會覺得那個動作是那麼的具有強制性。換句話說，做這個看似消極的行爲有什麼回報呢?既然你已經把它劃分到“壞”習慣這一類了，你可能會努力想說沒有。但細究，總是有回報的。比如說你的壞習慣是對孩子們吼叫。對你來說這將意味着什麼?你出了一些氣來讓自己在那時候感覺好些。或者你有一個壞習慣是不洗碗?帶來的可能是，你可以在互聯網上花更多的時間!

What's the trade off？

代價是什麼呢？
Next, take a look at the trade off. What is it that you are losing by exercising your habit? This step should be easier. Just think why it is that you consider it a bad habit in the first place. Yelling at your kids is a bad habit because it leaves everybody feeling tense and tears down your children's self-esteem. You are trading a temporary release of tension for the emotional health of your children. Leaving the dishes undone is a bad habit because your kitchen is a smelly mess. To have more Internet time you are trading off having a pleasant living environment. When you look at it that way it doesn't seem like you are making very wise choices, does it? There has to be a better way.

接下來,看看代價。由於習慣，你又失去了什麼呢？這一步應該比較容易。首先，你要知道爲什麼你覺得它是一個壞習慣。對孩子們吼叫是一個壞習慣，因爲它會讓每個人都感覺到緊張，也會毀了孩子的自尊。你是以孩子的情緒健康爲代價來換取你的一時情緒放鬆。不洗碗之所以是一個壞習慣是因爲你的廚房會變得一團糟。而更多的上網時間是以你舒適的生活環境爲代價的。當你以這種方式看待它時，你似乎不是在做明智的選擇，難道不是嗎?應該有更好的方式。
Now that you've weighed both sides of the issue--your payoff and your tradeoff--it's time to make a choice. It's no longer an involuntary act because now you know that you are making a choice every time you perform this action. You are choosing what you value more: the payoff or the tradeoff! Each time you start to do whatever the bad habit is now you have to actively choose. Which do you value more? Do you value more the relief you get by yelling at your kids or do you value their emotional well-being? Do you value more having more Internet time or having a pleasant place to live?

既然你已經權衡過雙方的問題——你的回報和代價——接下來是時候做出選擇了。這不再是一種無意識的行爲，因爲現在每次你做這個動作的時候你都知道。你選擇你認爲更有價值的：回報還是代價!每次你開始做任何不良習慣的事情時，你都要好好的選擇。你認爲哪個更有價值?你對小孩子大吼大叫來釋放你的情緒有價值還是珍惜他們情感健康更有價值?你覺得擁有更多的上網時間還是擁有一個舒適的居住地方更有價值?

Substituting better behaviors

更好的行爲來代替
The whole reason you formed your habits in the first place is that they filled a need. You had tension that needed relief or you had a desire to surf the Net. As you break the old patterns you still need a way to fulfill these needs. You will be not only making an active choice to not do the old action you will also be making a choice to perform a better, alternative action in its place. Instead of yelling at your kids you might decide to go for a run every time you are feeling tense. Instead of letting dirty dishes pile up you may decide to use paper plates when you are eating alone. What the new habit is that you substitute isn't so important as whether you feel good about the choices you have made. After all, the reason you consider it a bad habit is because it leaves you feeling bad about yourself.
It's up to you.

形成你的習慣的整體原因首先是他們需要。你的緊張情緒需要釋放或着你想上網。破壞了舊的方式，你仍然需要另一種方式來滿足那些需求。你將不僅僅要主動的不去選擇舊的行動方式，你也會選擇更好的表現，另一種行爲。當你感到緊張的時候你可以決定去跑步而不是對孩子們吼叫。當你一個人吃飯的時候你可以選擇用紙盤子而不是讓髒盤子堆積。新的習慣就是對於你已做選擇的感覺是否良好並不那麼重要。畢竟，你認爲這是一個壞習慣的原因是因爲它讓你對自己感覺不好。
它取決於你。

By now you should realize that the only way to continue with a bad habit for very long is to sink back into denial of why you are doing it in the first place. Each time you begin to resume your old patterns the thought will pass through your mind that you are trading X for Y each time you perform that action. You will be forced to make a choice, whether good for bad, about continuing your habit. What choices will you make? The one that makes you feel bad about yourself or the one that makes you feel good? It's up to you.

你現在應該認識到，,繼續長期養成一個壞習慣的唯一辦法是阻止你這樣做的首要原因。每次你開始恢復舊方式的思想時，你將想到你是要以X跟 Y交換的。你將被迫做出選擇，不管對於繼續你的習慣是好是壞。你將如何選擇?是那個讓你感覺不好還是那個讓你感覺良好的呢?一切取決於你。