中國式愛情與婚姻：中國在玩的相親遊戲
It's called "Shanghai's 3rd Annual Love and Marriage Expo." But the atmosphere at this massive gathering for single Chinese men and women was decidedly unromantic.
這場活動叫做“上海第三屆婚戀博覽會”。但這場爲中國單身男女們舉辦的大型聚會的氣氛卻一點也不浪漫。
More than 18,000 people preregistered for the weekend event, located rather incongruously in a sprawling shopping complex specializing in home and office furniture.
超過1萬8千人搶注參與了這場週末活動。活動的舉辦地點很怪異，在一個專賣居家辦公傢俱的大型購物中心裏。
The crowds were met by billboards posting lists of thousands of single men and women -- one list in pink and the other in blue. Within minutes of the doors opening on a rainy Saturday morning, visitors huddled to study the lists and take in vital intel about potential suitors -- age, height, education, annual income and their registered hometown, also known as hukou.
面對人羣的是張貼着成千上萬單身男女信息的廣告牌——一列是粉色，一列是藍色。博覽會在一個下着雨的週六早晨開始，開門短短几分鐘，參與者就擠成一團，開始研究廣告牌上的內容，並記錄下可能對象的重要信息——年齡、身高、教育背景、年收入、戶口所在地。
Some people took notes, while others snapped photos of single entries with their cellphones.
有的人在記筆記，有的人則用手機拍照記錄單身者們的信息。
In one hall more than a hundred men and women in their twenties and thirties sat facing each other at tables decorated with red and yellow tablecloths, the soothing tones of a Norah Jones love song spilling out from loudspeakers.
在一個大廳，一百多位二三十歲的男女在鋪着紅黃桌布的桌子前面對面坐着，廣播裏傳來爵士女伶諾拉·瓊斯的舒緩情歌。
"Welcome everybody to our 8-minute speed-dating event," announced the master of ceremonies eventually. When the eight minutes was up, each dater was instructed to move on. "Male guests please move two seats to your left," boomed the announcer.
“歡迎大家參加我們8分鐘快速約會環節，”大會主持人終於宣佈。8分鐘一結束，每個約會者都必須挪動位置。“男嘉賓請向你的左手邊挪動兩個位置，”主持人大聲說。
For some participants, this was the first time they had ever been on a date. "It's 's just like research," said Yixin Bai, a 20-year-old man home for the summer holidays from a university in Canada.
對於某些參與者來說，這是他們第一次約會。 “這很有用……就好像做研究一樣，”20歲的白毅新（音譯）說，他在加拿大讀大學，現在回家過暑假。
Bai said he has never had a girlfriend before. This is not uncommon amongst young Chinese, considering many teens are discouraged from having any romantic relationships in high school and told to focus on school work instead. He came to the expo to learn what women want from men.
白毅新說他從沒有交過女朋友。這在中國的年輕人中並不少見，因爲許多青少年在高中時都不被允許談戀愛，而要專注於學習。他來這場博覽會是想要了解女人對男人有哪些要求。
"After asking them, I now know something: Women don't like men to rely on their parents," he said.
“問過她們之後，現在我明白了一些：女人不喜歡男人依賴父母，”他說。
Bai was participating in a speed-dating event organized by Zhenai Inc., one of China's largest Internet match-making websites. The company says it has more than 58 million registered users and is growing by one million users a month.
白毅新參加的這場快速約會活動是由珍愛網組織的，這是中國最大的相親網站之一。公司稱他們擁有5千8百多萬的註冊用戶，而且還在以每月一百萬的速度增長。
Zhenai's founder and CEO is a Columbia University-educated former investment banker named Song Li. He says the one-child policy implemented by the Chinese government in 1979 has resulted in young adults having poor social skills -- crucial in the dating game.
珍愛網的創始人和CEO李鬆曾就讀於哥倫比亞大學，之前是一名投資銀行家。他說，中國政府從1979年開始執行的計劃生育政策讓許多年輕人的社交技能非常弱，而這在約會當中是至關重要的。
"A lot of kids who were born after 1980, they don't have siblings. So they grow up in an environment where you don't have the experience to meet with people of the opposite sex," Li opined.
李鬆認爲，“很多80後的孩子沒有兄弟姐妹。所以在他們成長的環境裏沒有和異性接觸的經驗。”
Many participants said they came to the convention because they needed help. They said they found it difficult to meet potential romantic partners outside their immediate circle of friends and family.
許多參與者說，他們來參加這次大會是因爲他們需要幫助。他們說他們發現在自己身邊的朋友圈之外遇見可能的對象非常困難。
And many Chinese approaching their late twenties, especially women, are under immense pressure to get married. "My mother asks, 'Why are you still single? Are you a freak?'" said Elsie, a 26-year-old woman who was taking part in a speed-dating session.
許多年近30的中國人，尤其是女性，承受着巨大的結婚、壓力。“我媽媽問，‘爲什麼你還是單身？你不正常嗎？’”一個參加快速約會的26歲姑娘Elsie說。
The woman next to her, who asked to be called May and is also 26, said her father asked the same question.
她旁邊的女孩也是26歲，自稱叫May，說她的父親也問了她同樣的問題。
"Everyone has the same story," said May laughing. "I feel free because I'm single... but I know this is the time I need to date somebody. I need to get married before thirty." Both women said they did not want to become shengnu, or the "leftover women."
“每個人都有相同的故事，”May笑着說。“我感覺很自由，因爲我是單身……但我知道我得開始約會了。我需要在30歲之前結婚。” 兩個女孩都說她們不想成爲剩女。
"It is one of the most talked about issues in Chinese society because a lot of educated women are left behind because they set a very high standard for their future husbands ... and they are less willing, unlike their parents' generation, to compromise," said Zhenai's Li.
“這是中國社會裏談論最多的問題之一，很多受過良好教育的女性被剩下了，因爲她們對於未來丈夫的標準定得太高……而和她們父母那一代不同，她們不太願意妥協，” 珍愛網的李鬆說。
May, who has a good job in human resources at an international firm and speaks fluent English, said this was her first time at a match-making event. She said she had never had a boyfriend before or been in love.
May在一家外企有一份不錯的人力資源工作，會說流利的英語。她說這是她第一次來參加相親，之前從沒有過男朋友，也沒有戀愛過。
"I have no time to get to know other males at a similar age ... that's why I can't find my Mister Right," she said. "I just wish that I have some luck today."
“我沒時間認識和我年齡差不多的男人……這就是爲什麼我找不到我的真命天子，”她說。“我只希望我今天能有點運氣。”
Despite being rejected by two men, May was in good spirits. She said that the two men needed a women who had a registered hukou in Shanghai.
雖然已經被兩名男士拒絕，May的情緒還不錯。她說那兩個人想找一個有上海戶口的女人。
For a gathering of thousands of single men and women, it was surprising to note that there was very little flirting going on.
雖然這裏聚集了成千上萬的單身男女，你會驚訝地發現這幾乎沒有什麼打情罵俏。
People wandered the corridors picking up brochures from match-making companies and stopped in to listen to self-help lectures from "life coaches," who were schooling women in how to "brand" themselves.
人們在走道上徘徊，收集相親公司派發的小冊子，也會停下來聽聽“人生導師”的自助演講，教女性如何自我“推銷”。
At times, the Love and Marriage Expo felt like a job fair. Online match-making entrepreneur Li said that was an accurate comparison. Finding a spouse is "almost like finding a job," he said.
有時候，這場婚戀博覽感覺就像是一場招聘會。婚戀網站創辦者李鬆說這個比喻很確切。找對象“就好像找工作，”他說。
"People tend to be very pragmatic," he explained. "[Being single] is a problem that you have an obligation to fix. And your parents feel that it is their obligation to see to it -- to get this problem fixed."
“人們越來越現實，”他解釋說。“（單身）這個問題你有義務要去解決。而且你的父母會覺得他們有義務去留意、去解決這個問題。”
Another startling revelation was that there were nearly as many parents at the Love and Marriage Expo as there were single men and women.
另一點讓人驚訝的是，出席這場婚戀博覽會的父母幾乎和在場的單身男女一樣多。
Some parents stood at the bustling entrance to the convention holding up printed posters advertising the details of their single children. Others walked alongside their adult sons and daughters, inspecting the booths of different match-making agencies.
有的父母站在人來人往的活動入口，舉着印有各種細節的招牌，爲他們單身的孩子打廣告。還有的和他們的成年孩子走在一起，打量着各家相親機構的展臺。
One match-maker told CNN she had to prohibit parents accompanying their children to the speed-dating tables.
一位相親機構工作人員告訴CNN，她不得不阻止父母們在快速約會環節陪在孩子身邊。
"I respect my parents' opinion," said May. "If my parents say this guy is no good, then I won't date [him]. But if my parents say this one is good, that they are happy with this boy, then I will try."
“我尊重我父母的想法，”May說。“如果我的父母說這個男孩不好，我就不會跟（他）約會。但是如果我的父母說這個人不錯，他們對這個男孩很滿意，那我就會試試。”
In some cases, mothers and fathers clearly played a role as social icebreakers for their children.
在某些情況下，父母很顯然在爲他們的孩子打開社交的局面。
At one point, while wandering the corridors of the convention, May got a phone call. It was her father who was also there. May found him standing next to another father he had just met.
在大會的走道里徘徊時，May接了一個電話。是她的父親打來的，他也在現場。May看到她的父親和另一名父親站在一起，他們剛剛遇見。
The man happened to have a single son who worked in a bank and did not attend the convention. Fortunately he carried a photo -- and a passport -- of his son, which he showed to May. "His picture looks good. A little bit handsome," May responded.
那名父親剛好有一個單身的兒子，在銀行工作，今天沒來出席博覽會。幸運的是他帶了他兒子的照片和護照，讓May看了看。“他的照片看上去不錯，有點帥，”May迴應說。
Then she stood somewhat awkwardly as the man's father took a photo of her in the crowded corridor. May's father looked over his counterpart's shoulder, murmuring advice as the digital image was taken.
那位父親在擁擠的走道里給May拍了照片，她站在那，多少有點不自在。May的父親從他的肩上看過去，在他拍照時嘴裏唸叨着給出建議。
May seemed pleased and grateful to the two dads. "They are both trying to help their child find their Mr. Right and Miss Right."
面對這兩位父親，May看上去開心又感激。“他們都是想幫自己的孩子找到各自的真名天子和真名天女。”
