白宮記者會晚宴 奧巴馬變身段子手

Once again, he was the comedian-in-chief.
今年的2015白宮記者會晚宴上，奧巴馬再次化身“首席諧星”。

Describing his presidency as being in its “fourth quarter,” President Obama delivered barbs at 2016 presidential candidates, cable news outlets, his Republican critics and even First Lady Michelle Obama.
在演講中，奧巴馬稱自己處在任期內的第四個季度即最後兩年中，它不僅吐槽了2016年美國總統大選的候選人、有線新聞網、共和黨的各路人馬，連第一夫人米歇爾他也沒放過。

While not every joke drew lots of laughs, the A-listers in attendance whooped it up for a good portion of the 22-minute monologue. The President even called up Keegan Michael-Key from “Key & Peele” to the stage to act in his role as "anger translator Luther" for the final portion of the speech at this year’s so-called “Nerd Prom” at the Washington Hilton Hotel.
雖然並不是每個段子都有“笑”果，但22分鐘的演講中大部分時間現場都是笑聲不斷的。今年的白宮記者協會晚宴在華盛頓希爾頓酒店舉行，該宴會一直被戲稱爲“書呆子聚會”，奧巴馬在本次演講中還邀請《黑人兄弟》中的科甘·邁克爾·基扮演他的“憤怒翻譯官盧瑟”。

The Daily News picked out the top jokes from the speech that’s become an annual rite of spring in our nation’s capital.
下面摘錄了其中的一些段子。

--(ON #WHCD) “Welcome to the White House Correspondents’ dinner, the night when Washington celebrates itself. Somebody’s gotta do it.”
—“歡迎來到白宮記者晚宴，這是華盛頓自我表揚的一個夜晚，沒人表揚我們就自己來。”（吐槽晚宴）

--(On presidential fatigue after seven years) “The fact is I feel more loose and relaxed than ever. Those Joe Biden shoulder massages — they’re like magic. You should try one.”
–“事實上，我感覺比以前更放鬆了。喬·拜登按摩肩膀的技術真不是蓋的，就像一雙魔術手，你應該試試。”（吐槽任職總統7年期間的勞累）

--(On rumors that he’s a Muslim) “Being President is never easy. I still have to fix the broken immigration system, issue veto threats, negotiate with Iran, all while finding time to pray five times a day.”
--“當總統從來都不是輕鬆事，我仍要修補破舊的移民體系，威脅使用談判權，跟伊朗談判，每天還得擠出時間做5次祈禱。”（吐槽有關他是穆斯林的傳言）

--(On House Speaker John Boehner) “It’s no wonder people keep pointing out how the presidency has aged me. I look so old John Boehner has already invited (Israel Prime Minister Benjamin) Netanyahu to speak at my funeral.”
—“難怪人們說我當總統後越來越老，我看起來太老了，約翰·博納已經邀請內塔尼亞胡在我的葬禮上發言了。”（吐槽衆院議長約翰·博納）
--(ON FLOTUS) “Michelle hasn’t aged a day. I ask her what her secret is and she just says, ‘Fresh fruits and vegetables.’ It’s aggravating.”
—“可是米歇爾就一丁點也沒老，我問她祕訣是什麼，她只是說‘新鮮的水果和蔬菜’，太可恨了。”（吐槽第一夫人）

--(On former Vice President Dick Cheney) “Dick Cheney says he thinks I’m the worst President of his lifetime, which is interesting because I think Dick Cheney is the worst President of my lifetime. Quite a coincidence.”
—“迪克·切尼說他認爲我是他這輩子見過的最爛的總統，有趣的是我也認爲切尼也是我這輩子見過的最爛的總統，真是巧啊。”（吐槽前副總統迪克·切尼）

--(On former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee) “Mike Huckabee recently said people shouldn’t join our military until a true conservative is elected President. Think about that. It was so outrageous, 47 ayatollahs wrote a letter trying to explain to Huckabee how our system works.”
—“麥克·哈克比最近說在純正的保守派當選總統之前，人們都不應該參軍。想想啊，47位阿拉圖氣得聯名給我們寫信試圖跟哈克比解釋我們的體制如何運行。”（吐槽前阿肯色州州長麥克·哈克比）

--(On former secretary of state and current 2016 candidate Hillary Clinton) “I’ve just got to put this stuff aside. I’ve gotta stay focused on my job, because for many Americans this is still a time of deep uncertainty. For example, I have one friend, just a few weeks ago, she was making millions of dollars a year, and she’s now living out of a van in Iowa.”
—“我必須把這些糟心事放在一邊，專注於我的工作，因爲對於許多美國人來說，這仍是個充滿各種不確定的時期。比如我有個朋友，幾周前她還年入數百萬，如今她卻淪落到了愛荷華州，在小貨車裏過日子了。”（吐槽希拉里）

--(On Vice President Biden) “You know I tease Joe sometimes, but he has been at my side for seven years. I love that man. He’s not just a great vice president, he’s a great friend. We’ve gotten so close (that) in some places in Indiana, they won’t serve us pizza anymore.”
—“雖然我有時會吐糟拜登，但七年來他一直陪伴我左右，我愛這哥們。他不僅是位出色的副總統，也是位極好的朋友，我倆在印第安納的某些地方過於親密，搞得人家都不賣給我們披薩了。”（吐槽副總統拜登）

--(On host Cecily Strong) “On 'Saturday Night Live,' Cecily impersonates CNN anchor Brooke Baldwin, which is surprising, because usually the only people impersonating journalists on CNN are journalists on CNN.”
—“星期六晚上《週六夜現場》的直播上，塞西莉模仿了CNN主播布魯克·博爾登。真是讓我驚訝，因爲通常來說在CNN唯一假裝記者的就是CNN的記者們。”（吐槽主持人塞西莉）

--(On a new ABC sitcom) “ABC is here with some of the stars from their big new comedy ‘Blackish.’ It’s a great show, but I have to give ABC fair warning: Being blackish only makes you popular for so long. Trust me. There’s a shelf life to that thing.”
—“ABC也來了，還帶來了他們的新劇‘有點黑’的演員們。這劇很不錯，但我要給ABC一些溫馨提示：有點黑只能讓你火一段時間，相信我，這是有保質期的。”（吐槽ABC新劇）

--(On GOP donors Charles and David Koch and the 2016 field) “It’s amazing how time flies. Soon the first presidential contest will take place. And I for one cannot wait to see who the Koch brothers pick.”
—“日子過得太快，第一輪選戰很快就要開始了，我等不及要看科赫兄弟會選誰上位了。”（吐槽共和黨的贊助人科赫兄弟和16年大選）

--(On Vermont Sen. Bernie Sanders’ potential candidacy) “I like Bernie. Bernie’s an interesting guy. Apparently some folks really want to see a pot-smoking socialist in the White House. We could get a third Obama term after all.”
—“我喜歡伯尼，伯尼是個很有趣的人。顯然有些人想看到抽大麻的社會主義者混入白宮，看來真要有第三個奧巴馬任期了。”（吐槽伯尼·桑德斯）

--(Introducing Michael-Key) “You know I often joke about tensions between me and the press. But honestly, what they say doesn’t bother me, I know we’ve got an adversarial system. I’m a mellow sort of guy. And that’s why I invited Luther, my anger translator to join me here tonight.”
—“我常調侃我和媒體之間的緊張關係，不過說老實話他們的話並不會令我不快，我明白這是一種抗辯制，我是個溫和的人。所以我請來盧瑟，我的憤怒翻譯官來到今晚的現場。”（介紹邁克爾·基）