女王俏皮軼事

English people have a reputation for a wry sense of humourandThe Queen is no exception.

腐國人民有一種古怪的幽默感，女王也不例外。

Here are a few of her more famous quips over the years:

以下是數年來女王知名的俏皮段子：

On a walkabout in Scotland a helpful observer commented that she looked just like the Queen. To which Her Majesty quickly replied, "How reassuring."

在蘇格蘭的親民走訪會上，有一名圍觀好事者說她自己長得和女王很像。結果女王很快答道：“那太讓人不放心了。”

Herb gardener JekkaMcVicar has recounted a conversation she had with the monarch, during which she informed the Queen that lily of the valley was once used as a poison. "She said, 'I've been given two bunches this week. Perhaps they want me dead',

"花匠JekkaMcVicar回憶起和女王談到山谷中的這些百合花曾是有毒的，女王說道：“他們一週給我送兩把，也許是想讓我早點死。”

When she was sitting for a portrait with the late artist Lucian Freud, the Queen confided that she’d hired one of her protection officers to guard the crown she was wearing for the picture after a drama at a pheasant shoot.

已故畫家Lucian Freud在給女王畫肖像畫的時候，女王和他說了一個祕密，自己在野雞打獵會之後僱傭了一名保安來守護皇冠。（當時的情況是這樣的）

‘I was picking up the guns as I always do when a wounded cock pheasant scratched me and drew blood. The detective assumed I’d been shot, threw himself on top of me and began giving me mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. I consider we got to know each other rather well.’

我在撿起槍的時候，一週受傷的野雞過來撓我，撓出血來。這位偵探以爲我受了槍傷，上來就給我嘴對嘴人工呼吸。我想我們的關係應該不錯。

She played along when some American tourists asked: 'Do you live round here,' simply replying that she had a house nearby. And when asked if she had met the Queen, she simply gestured to her companion and said: “No, but he has.”

她還戲弄過美國遊客，當他們問道：“你住在這兒附近麼？”女王簡單的回答，她在這裏附近有一座房子。當被問及有沒有見過女王本尊時，她指着自己的陪同說：“我沒見過，但是他見過。”

One time, Princess Margaret was talking to her cousin’s husband, Denys, a thriller writer. She asked him how his latest book was actually coming along. Her Majesty entered the room as he responded: “I desperately need a title”. Listening to this, she immediately quipped: “I cannot think of a reason for giving you one”.

一次，瑪格麗特公主和她表姐的老公Denys一位驚悚小說家聊天。當公主問到他即將出版的新書怎麼樣時。女王正好進來了，然後Denys說：“我迫切地想要一個書名。”這是女王立刻俏皮的回答說：“我想不出有什麼理由給你一個（頭銜）。”（這裏title一詞多義）

Queen Elizabeth attended a performance of the Everly Brothers, Cathy’s Clown in the 60’s. Hearing it, she turned to her lady-in-waiting and said: “They really sound like two cats being strangled”.

女王在60歲大壽上看了艾弗裏兄弟表演歌曲Cathy’s Clown。聽畢，她對女記錄員說：“聽起來就是像是兩隻貓被掐死發出的聲音。”

Her Majesty was invited for the opening of an exhibition of artist, Lucian Freud’s nude paintings. The Queen seeing all that told her aide that: “I have been very careful to make sure that I am not photographed between a pair of those great thighs”.

女王在參觀藝術家Lucian Freud的裸體畫藝術展中。女王看着這些話，對她的隨從說：“我很小心，千萬別被拍在這些大腿中間。”

During that same exhibition, a curator asked Her Majesty if she had ever been painted by Lucian Freud, to which she smiled and replied: “Yes, but not like that”.

在參觀完展覽以後，被問及想不想要被Lucian Freud畫時，女王微笑回答：“是的，不過不要像展出的這種風格。”

The Queen smiling in her wing mirror will melt the coldest of hearts.The Queen attended the Windsor Horse Show on May 10 2017, and the photos of her driving her Range Rover and smiling in the wing mirror will melt even the coldest of hearts.

女王在後視鏡的微笑能融化最冰冷的心。2017年5月10日女王開着它的路虎參加溫莎馬展，這張從後視鏡拍攝的照片能夠融化最冰冷的心。

Back in 1999, the Queen and Prince Philip were asked to welcome in the new millennium during celebrations in London. When it comes to toasting the year ahead, apparently we share the same priorities as Her Majesty.

1999年女王和飛利浦親王兩人被邀請去倫敦一起迎接新千年。當我們舉杯慶祝新千年時，女王和我們一樣。

In June 2014, the Queen paid a visit to the set of Game of Thrones in Belfast. While the monarch got within inches of the show's famous Iron Throne, she didn't appear to be impressed by the chair, which is made of thousands of swords and definitely doesn't look comfortable.

2014年，女王去貝爾法斯特也就是《權力的遊戲》取景地。在女王裏離戲裏面著名的“鐵王座”只有幾步之遙的時候，她看起來對這張椅子並不感冒，這張由幾千把寶劍做成的椅子，看起來也不舒服。

So, much to the disappointment of the show's producers, she turned down the chance to actually sit on it. “Apparently the Queen of England is not allowed to sit on a foreign throne,” executive producer David Benioff explained during an interview a year later. “This is an esoteric rule we didn’t know about until that moment.” Still, we're sure she appreciated the model version she was presented with at the end of her visit.

在女王拒絕坐上椅子的時候，該戲的製片人感到很失望。一年以後在接受採訪時，該製片人說“很顯然英國女王是不可以坐在其他寶座上的。這條奇怪的規則也是我在被女王拒絕時才知道的。”不過在該訪問結束時女王對於我們打造的模型還是高度讚賞的。

Two Australian hockey players couldn't believe their luck when the most famous royal in the world popped up in the background of their selfie taken at the 2014 Commonwealth Games. And yes, as Jayde Taylor, who shared the image pointed out, the Queen even smiled for the camera.

在2014年的聯邦運動會上，女王入了兩位曲棍球運動員的自拍背景，他們兩個自己都不敢相信有這麼好的運氣。不過就是發生了，Jayde Taylor分享了照片，女王甚至還對着鏡頭笑了。

Among many other things, being the Queen involves a lot of cake-cutting. And sometimes, it doesn't go according to plan. In June 2015, she helped the Women's Institute celebrate its 100th year and was presented with a large fruit cake commemorating the event.

除了其他事情，女王還有很多切蛋糕的活動。而且有的時候還不在計劃之內。在2015年的六月，她幫助英國婦女協會慶祝100週年，活動中有一個很大的水果蛋糕。

After the Queen struggled to cut a slice, her daughter Princess Anne stepped in to help. It was a tense moment, one which the monarch reportedly said was "difficult,". Someone get her a better knife, next time.

女王要切成一小塊一小塊的時候犯難了，他的女兒安娜公主上前幫助。千鈞一髮的時刻，據報道說女王說“好難。下次有人得準備一把好刀。

During a dinner in Malta, November 2015, Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau detailed Queen Elizabeth II’s long and full career and kindly pointed out he was the 12th Canadian prime minister to serve during Queen Elizabeth's 63 year reign.

2015年11月在馬耳他的一次晚宴上，加拿大總理Justin Trudeau細說了伊麗莎白的長壽和貢獻，還說自己是在伊麗莎白女王執政63年中的第12位加拿大總理。

When she gave her own toast, the monarch quipped : "Thank you, Mr prime minister of Canada, for making me feel so old!"Trudeau later tweeted that the Queen is "forever young" in his eyes. Always a charmer.

當女王回敬的時候，女王俏皮的說：“謝謝你，加拿大總理，把我說的感覺那麼老！”之後Trudeau發推文說女王在他的眼裏“永遠年輕”，永遠有魅力。

One of my favourites is when I was serving in the Royal Yacht Britannia and we were acting as The Queen’s home for a fortnight for their holiday in the Western Isles of Scotland in 1995. The Queen was ashore taking a morning walk in local woods with her Master of the Household and a local walked past them and they nodded to each other and said ‘morning’. A few paces on, the local realised who he had just passed and exclaimed “Oh, my God!” to which The Queen quipped, quick as a flash, “No, not quite!”

我最喜歡的一個是，1995年，當時我還在不列顛尼亞號服役，我們正在演習，而女王在蘇格蘭西部島嶼爲期14天的度假。一天清早女王上岸散步，隨行一名管家，他們和一名當地人點頭示意說“早上好”。幾步以後那名當地人意識到剛纔是誰走過去了驚呼：“我的神啊！”女王俏皮的回答道：“不，不完全正確！”

（翻譯：林潯鷗）