史上最搞怪的八大反恐專利
Technology has always played a big role in fighting terrorism. Some inventions are truly useful and will undoubtedly save lives, whereas others are so bizarre that one wonders how in the world they got patented. This list is about the latter: Behold the Top 8 Strangest Anti-Terrorism Patents!
科技在反恐鬥爭中一直扮演着重要角色。某些發明確實有用，關鍵時刻總能救人一命，另一些發明卻詭異得讓人懷疑它們是怎麼拿到專利的。下面我們就來看看史上最搞怪的八大反恐專利吧~
1、Anti-Terrorist Truck 反恐車
Problem: Terrorists can pop up at any time, leaving local authorities totally defenseless against their raging attacks.
問題：恐怖分子隨時都可能跳出來，把地方當局打個落花流水。
Solution: When terrorists walk past this non-descript truck parked quietly on the street, its roof pops out to reveal a machine gun turret! If that doesn't strike fear into the heart of Jihadis, well ... then we can still Mow 'em down!
解決方案：這輛車沒有任何明顯特徵，靜靜地停在路邊。當恐怖分子路過的時候，車頂上就會彈出一個機關槍炮臺！如果這樣都嚇不倒他們的話……那就直接爆頭好了！
Bonus: Also great for battling zombies.
附加效果：同樣適用於打殭屍。
Problem: You got to wear a biohazard suit to protect against biological or chemical weapons ... but as soon as you put it on, you really gotta go!
問題：爲了保護自己免遭生化武器危害，你需要穿上生化服，但是當你終於穿好它……你就該內急了。
Solution: A biohazard suit with a built-in toilet! Just squat a little bit and go.
解決方案：一件內置廁所的生化服！只要稍微下蹲，就可以噓噓了。
Potential Complications: How do you wipe?
潛在問題：要腫麼擦PP……
Problem: Terrorists may attack a missile silo, a stationary target if there ever is one.
問題：導彈發射井因爲是固定的，很容易成爲恐怖分子襲擊的目標。
Solution: Make it mobile. Here's a patent for a railroad missile garrison system that launches ICBMs from rail cars of a train.
解決方案：讓它動起來！這個鐵路導彈系統能從火車上發射洲際彈道導彈！
Bonus: Makes a great movie plot!
附加效果：又一部電影大片誕生了！
Problem: It's well known that Al Qaeda terrorists hate dogs, but how do you tell the animals to get to these dirty SOBs if they can't hear you? (You being a far away, of course, preferably in the safety and comfort of a bunker.)
問題：衆所周知，“基地”組織成員最怕的就是狗。而當你躲在安全的地方，想讓狗狗們去幹掉這些操蛋的恐怖分子，它們卻聽不見你的指令，怎麼辦？
Solution: a custom-fitting earpiece for dogs so they can receive verbal instructions remotely.
解決方案：特製的狗狗耳機，讓它們可以遠程接收你的口頭指令！
Bonus: The method specifically said four-legged non-human animal, so I'm thinking this will work with goats. Attack goats.
附加效果：該裝置適用於所有四足非人類生物，所以應該也可以用於山羊。攻擊性山羊。
Problem: Terrorists want to hijack a plane by trying to break down the cockpit door.
問題：恐怖分子會闖入駕駛艙，劫持飛機。
Solution: After hardening the cockpit door, airlines should add the next logical step: airplane trap door that springs open to entrap terrorists below deck.
解決方案：除了加固駕駛艙門之外，飛機上還需要一個可以瞬間彈開捉住恐怖分子的陷阱。
Improvement Suggestion: Add an alligator pit to the trap door ... or better yet, some motherf-ckin' snakes on the motherf-ckin pit!
改進建議：在陷阱裏放鱷魚……或者乾脆特麼的放蛇好了！
Problem: When all effort to prevent a large scale act of terrorism failed and the body count of victims is high, then something is needed to get rid of the bodies...
問題：當阻止大規模恐怖襲擊的行動失敗之後，會有很多受害者的屍體需要處理……
Solution: A mobile crematorium - basically a combustion chamber on wheels.
解決方案：移動火葬場——基本上就是一個帶輪子的燃燒室。
Bonus: Probably makes a mean BBQ! Also works to get rid of dead zombies.
附加效果：可以搞一場噁心的燒烤！也可以用來處理死掉的殭屍……(啊喂殭屍本來就是死的吧……)
Problem: A terrorist is onboard, and you want to disable him without harming the other passengers.
問題：飛機上有恐怖分子，如何廢了他而又不傷害其他乘客呢？
Solution: Make all passengers wear armbands that monitors their body for signs of falsehood and evil. And did I mention there's a syringe filled with a strong tranquilizer connected to the thing? One "anomalous emotional condition," then off to dreamland they go!
解決方案：讓所有乘客佩戴特製的臂章，通過臂章來監控乘客的情緒有無異常。臂章上還有一個裝滿強效鎮定劑的注射器，當發現“情緒異常者”時，該裝置會立刻送他去見周公！
Bonus: Works for unruly kids.
附加效果：對不聽話的小盆友同樣適用。
Problem: Suicide bombers may detonate their bomb and kill a lot of people.
問題：自殺式炸彈會炸死很多人。
Solution: It may look like an umbrella, but that's actually a kevlar net fired from a special gun to encapsulate and contain a bomb's blast. The net also contains a tube for dispensing fire suppressant agent.
解決方案：這貨看起來像把傘，但它其實是一個由特殊槍支發射的kevlar纖維網，可以阻擋爆炸產生的火焰和衝擊波。網裏還有一條可以噴灑滅火劑的管子。
Bonus: Great for fishing or tackling.
附加效果：捕魚必備之利器。
