內向? 害羞? 幫你成爲"社交達人"的12招

Let’s face it, fewer Moments are more awkward than trying to strike up a casual conversation with someone you don’t know very well. Here are some quick tips to lighten up the situation:
讓我們面對這樣一個現實：在跟對方不熟的情況下，還要努力去營造一個輕鬆愉悅的談話氛圍，實在是再尷尬不過。以下12個小技巧可讓你快速走出尷尬境地。

1 Talk about who you know and what you have in common. Mutual friends, bosses, hometowns, etc.
聊一聊認識的人或者雙方的共通之處。比如共同的朋友、上司，或者家鄉等等。

2 Ask relevant questions about life, work, hobbies, and pop-culture. Keeping abreast of current events will provide you with great conversation builders. Lead with “What do you think of…?”, “Have you heard…?”, “What is your take on…?”, etc. Stay away from negative or controversial topics, and refrain from long-winded stories.
詢問對方關於生活、工作、愛好、流行文化等問題。密切關注時事，會讓你有很多話題可以聊。用類似“你覺得……如何？”“你聽說……了嗎？”“你接受得了……嗎？”這樣的問句打開話匣子。避免談論負面的或者爭議性的話題，也別說太囉嗦的故事。

3 If you notice yourself getting bored with what you’re saying, stop talking, acknowledge the situation, and move on to the next topic.
如果你突然意識到自己說的話很無聊，那就別硬撐啦。承認這個狀況，然後果斷換另一個話題。

4 Listen more than you talk.
多聽，少說

5 With people you have never met before, limit stories to the last few moments of your life. Bring up casual points about your current surroundings, like the funny music playing in the background or the tasty martinis the bar is serving.
和陌生人在一起的時候，把話題集中在自己近期的生活。也可以隨意聊聊眼下的環境，比如搞笑的背景音樂或者酒吧裏好喝的馬提尼酒。6 Know a few interesting historical facts, like this one: As a child, Albert Einstein seldom spoke. When he did, he spoke very slowly – indeed, he tried out entire sentences in his head until he got them right before he spoke aloud. Einstein did this until he was nine years old. His parents were worried about his lack of talking. But at last, at the supper table one night, he broke his silence to say, “The soup is too hot!” Greatly relieved, his parents asked why he had never said a word before. Albert replied, “Because up to now everything was in order.”
知道一些歷史趣聞，比如下面這個：愛因斯坦小時候很少說話。即使開口，也說的很慢。他一定要在腦子裏構思好整個句子，才肯大聲說出來。在9歲之前，他一直是這個狀態。父母對他的寡言少語感到憂心忡忡。不過，終於有一天在吃晚飯的時候，他打破了沉默，說了句“湯太燙了！”。如釋重負的父母問他，爲什麼從前不說話。阿爾伯特回答：“因爲直到現在，一切都井然有序。”

7 But realize that no one likes a person who thinks they know everything.
但是，務必牢記，沒有人喜歡一個自認爲無所不知的人。

8 Prolonged pauses are the best time for that interesting historical fact. Most people would rather listen to you talk about anything than listen to an awkward silence.
如果長時間冷場，最合適的話題是歷史趣聞。與忍受冷場相比，大多數人都更樂意聽你說話，隨便什麼話題都成。

9 Watch your body language. People who look ill at ease make others uncomfortable. Act confident and comfortable, even when you’re not.
注意身體語言。如果你看上去很拘束，別人也會感覺不舒服。裝也要裝得自信和坦然一點。

10 Let strangers interrupt you. They’re not being rude, they’re assisting you. Let them speak, and wait to be prompted before continuing your story. It’s usually a good sign that they are actually listening to you.
允許陌生人插話。別把這樣的舉動看作粗魯無禮，他們其實是在幫你。讓他們發言，然後等他們給你提示，再繼續你的話題。這通常是個好跡象，說明他們確實在聽你說話。

11 If all else fails, just talk about the weather, which always gets people riled up (unless you live in Florida or Southern California).
如果全都行不通，乾脆聊聊常把大夥兒惹毛的天氣吧（此條不適用於佛羅里達或者南加利福尼亞的居民）。

12 And have a few exit lines ready so, if needs be, you can both gracefully move on. For example, “I need to check in with a client over there,” “I skipped lunch today, so I need to grab a quick bite,” etc.
準備一些隨時能結束談話的藉口，這樣在必要的時候，雙方都可以從容地離開。比如，“我需要幫一個客戶去登記入住”，“我今天沒吃午飯，所以我得趕緊去吃點東西”。

As long as you avoid anything personal, political, or controversial – at least during first encounters – and know which questions to ask, you’ll be talking the talk of certified socialite. Also, read Dale Carnegie’s classic, How To Win Friends and Influence People, for a great read on this topic.
只要閉口不談任何私人、政治或者富有爭議性的話題（至少第一次見面時不說），並且知道該問什麼問題，你就一定能像社會名流一般侃侃而談啦。還有，讀一讀戴爾·卡耐基的經典之作《如何贏得友誼和影響他人》吧，這絕對是一本幫你完善社交技巧的絕佳讀物。