英文爆笑笑話5則

下面是本站小編整理的英文爆笑笑話， 希望大家會喜歡。

　　英文爆笑笑話一：What are the Two Words?

A very nice old lady had a few words to say to her granddaughter. My dear, said the old lady, I wish you would do something for me. I wish you would promise me never to use two words. One is ‘lousy’ and the other is ‘swell’. Would you promise me that?

Why, sure, Granny, said the girl. What are the two words?

一個非常和藹的老夫人有幾句話要對她的孫女說。我親愛的，老夫人說，我希望你能幫我一個忙。我要你答應永遠不要用兩個詞，一個是“討厭的”，另一個是“極好的”。你能答應我嗎?

噢，當然，奶奶。女孩說：是哪兩個詞?

　　英文爆笑笑話二：奇猜異想

Our physics professor was struggling to draw the class into discussion of Archimede's principle of water displacement. He told us that Archimede noticed that when he got into a pool at the public bathhouse, the water rose spilling over the edge. Excited at his discovery, he ran down the street yelling, "Eureka, eureka!" The instructor asked if anyone knew what that meant.

One student stood up and answered, "I'm naked ! I'm naked!"

我們的物理教授千方百計引導我們討論阿基米德的排水原理。他告訴我們阿基米德去公共浴池洗澡，他進入池子，發現水漲高了，溢出池沿。他對這一發現十分激動，跑到街上高叫：“Eureka，Eureka!”教授問我們誰知道他喊的是什麼意思。

一個學生站起來答道：“我光屁股啦，我光屁股啦!”

　　英文爆笑笑話三：The doctor Knows Better

A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital. His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill."

"I am afraid that he is dead." said the doctor.

Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I'm not dead. I'm still alive."

"Be quiet, " said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!"

一個男人在街上被出租車撞倒送進了醫院。他的妻子站在他的牀前對醫生說：“我想他傷得很厲害。”

醫生說：“恐怕他已經死了。”

聽到醫生的話，這個男人轉動着頭說：“我沒死，我還活着。”

妻子說：“安靜，醫生比你懂得多。”

　　英文爆笑笑話四：A Smart Parrot 聰明的鸚鵡

A curious guy goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. There he sees a parrot with a red string tied to its left leg and a green string tied to it's right leg. He asks the owner the significance of the strings1. "Well, this is a highly trained parrot. If you pull the red string he speaks French; if you pull the green string he speaks German," replies the shop keeper.

"And what happens if I pull both the strings?" our curious shopper inquires.

"I fall off my perch2 you fool!!" screeches3 the parrot.

有個人去寵物店買鸚鵡。在那裏，他看見有隻鸚鵡的左腿被紅線繫住，右腿則被綠線繫住。對此他感到不解，於是他問該店的老闆，老闆回答說：“這隻鸚鵡受過特殊的訓練。如果拉紅線，它就講法語，拉綠線，它則講德語。”

這個好奇的人接着問，“要是我兩條線都拉，會怎麼樣呢?”

“我就會掉下來了，你這個傻瓜!!”鸚鵡尖叫着說。

　　英文爆笑笑話五：Not so fast 別那麼急嘛

A pig and a chicken were walking by a church where a gala(歡慶的) charity event was taking place.

Getting caught up in the spirit, the pig suggested to the chicken that they each make a contribution.

"Great idea!" the chicken cried."Let's offer hem1 ham and eggs?"

"Not so fast," said the pig testily2. "For you, that's a contribution. For me, it's a total commitment."

一隻豬和一隻雞路過一所教堂，那裏有一場盛大慈善活動正在進行着。

在精神上收到觸動的豬向小雞提出建議：他們每個人作出點自己的貢獻。

“好主意!”雞尖叫道，“讓我們給腿和雞蛋吧?”

“着什麼急”豬不耐煩地說，“對你來說，是一個貢獻，對我來說，這是一個完全的獻身。”