爆笑英語笑話5篇

笑話的娛樂作用可以減輕人的心理壓力，促進身體健康。在交際場合，能恰到好處地講個笑話或自創一個幽默，不僅可以體現自己的語言水平，還可以提升個人魅力。下面小編整理了五個經典搞笑的笑話，希望可以給你的生活帶來歡樂！

　　爆笑英語笑話一：How do I get the gum out?我怎麼把口香糖取出來?

Distributing chewing gum to the passengers,the stewardess explained it was to keep their ears from popping. when the planelanded, one of the passengers rushed up to her and said, "I'm meeting mywife right away. How do I get the gum out from my ears?"

當空中小姐給乘客們發口香糖的時候，她解釋說口香糖有助於他們防止耳鳴。飛機着陸後，一位乘客跑到這位空中小姐面前，說道：“我馬上就要見到我妻子了。我怎麼才能把口香糖從耳朵裏面取出來呢?”

　　爆笑英語笑話二：Excellent skills 絕妙的技巧

After friends of mine landed at busy newwark airport, they were unable to attract the attention of any porters to help with their luggage. In desperation, the husband took out a five-dollar bill and waved it above the crowd.

我的朋友們在繁忙的紐瓦克機場着陸後，他們卻不能招呼到腳伕來幫他們搬行李。無奈，丈夫拿出一張五美元的鈔票在人羣上面搖晃。

In an instant, a skycap was at his side. sir, observed the porter, you certainly have excellent communication skills.

一個帶寬邊帽的人馬上來到他身邊。“先生，”腳伕說道，“很明顯你有絕妙的交際技巧。”

　　爆笑英語笑話三：因禍得福 To Profit from a Misfortune

A man was a butterfingers. He had been suffering from unemployment for months.

At last he found a job in a chinaware house. He had worked only a few days when he dropped a large vase.

The manager summoned him to the office and told him that money would be deducted from his wages every week until the vase was paid for. He asked: "How much did it cost?" "Five hundred dollars." said the manager. "Oh, that's wonderful," he said happily, "I'm so happy that I have got a steady job at last."

有一個人很粗心，老是打爛東西。他已失業好幾個月了。

最後他在一個瓷器店找到了一個工作。可是才幹了幾天，他就打爛了一個很大的花瓶。

經理把他到辦公室去，告訴他每個星期都要扣他的工錢，直到賠償夠了爲止。他就問：“那個花瓶值多少錢?”經理說：“值500美元。”他很高興地說：“啊!太妙了，我非常高興，終於有個穩定的工作啦。”

　　爆笑英語笑話四：我幹得怎麼樣 How did I do

A rookie police officer was out for his first ride in a cruiser with an experienced partner. A call came in telling them to disperse some people who were loitering. The officers drove to the street and observed a small crowd standing on a corner.

The rookie rolled down his window and said, "Let's get off the corner, people." A few glances, but no one moved, so he barked again, "Let's get off that !" Intimidated, the group of people began to leave, casting puzzled stares in his direction.

Proud of his first official act, the young policeman turned to his partner and asked, "Well, how did I do?" "Pretty good," chuckled the veteran policemen, "especially since this is a bus stop!"

一名新警察與老警察開着警車第一次出去巡邏。 他們得到命令去疏散一羣閒逛的人，於是他們開車去了那條街，看到路口站着一羣人。

新警察搖下窗戶：“大家注意了，快離開這裏。”人們看了他幾眼，沒理他。他喊起來：“離開這裏，馬上離開!”大家都不知道怎麼回事，但是在他的威脅下還是離開了。

新警察對他第一次執行公務的結果很滿意，對老警察說：“我幹得怎麼樣?”“你做得很好，”老警察笑着說，“尤其是在公共汽車站。”

　　爆笑英語笑話五：我可以回家了

Now i can go home

One day after school the teacher said to his students，“Tomorrow morning，if any one of you can answer my first question.I'll permit him or her to go home earlier.” The next day，when the teacher came into the classroom，he found the blackboard was very angry and asked，“Who did it?Please stand up! ” “It' s me，”said Bob，“Now，I can go home，Good-bye，Sir! ”

我 可 以 回 家 了

一天，放學以後，老師對他的學生們說：“明天上午，如果你們當中的任何一個同學能回答我的第一個問題，我就准許他或她最先回家。”第二天，老師走進教室時發現黑板已被亂塗，他非常生氣地問：“誰塗的? 請站起來。”鮑勃說：“先生，是我，現在我可以回家了，再見。”