英語笑話大全
很多英語國家在漫長的歷史中，廣泛流傳着很多經典的幽默小笑話。今天，小編爲大家準備了幾則經典的英語笑話，給大家來分享一下，希望大家開心一笑，一起來看看吧!
英語笑話：先生，是去天體營嗎?
Vacationing on the island of Oahu, we were waiting in our tour bus for some stragglers to show up. A man, obviously not with our group, approached the bus and was about to board. How would our driver handle the situation, we wondered. Straight-faced, he leaned toward the door and asked, "Going to the nudist Colony, sir?"
在瓦湖島上度假時，我們坐在旅遊車裏等候掉隊的人。一位男子，明顯不是和我們一起的，朝旅遊車走來並要上車。司機會怎麼處理這種情況呢?我們都拭目以待。司機拉長了臉，向車門靠過去，問道：“先生，是去天體營嗎?”
"Oh, no," replied the would-be passenger, retreating quickly.
“哦，不，”剛想乘車的男子回答說，迅速轉身而逃。
"Works every time," the driver said with a wink.
“每次都管用，”司機眨巴了一下眼睛說。
【註釋】
(1) be about to(do)(表計劃)即將做
(2) straight-faced adj.板起面孔的
(3) nudist Colony天體營(裸體主義者實行其信條的場所)
(4) retreating quickly迅速後退。這是一個分詞短語作狀語，表示伴隨狀況。
英語笑話：您說我該怎麼辦?
A man was at the doctor's office. "Every time I drink a cup of coffee, Doctor, I have a stabbing pain in my right eye. What should I do?" he asked .
一位男子來到醫生的辦公室。“醫生，每次我喝咖啡，我的右眼都有刺痛感。您說我該怎麼辦?”他問道。
"Take the spoon out of your cup. " answered the doctor.
“把勺子從咖啡杯裏拿出來。”醫生回答說。
【註釋】
(1) stabbing adj.刺痛的
(2) spoon n.匙子
英語笑話：我要出去
A bar owner locked up his place at 2 a. m. and went home to sleep. He had been in bed only a few minutes when the phone rang." What time do you open up in the morning ?" he heard an obviously inebriated man inquire.
在凌晨兩點，酒吧店主鎖了店門，回家睡覺。他剛躺下幾分鐘，這時電話響了。“你早上幾點營業?”他聽到一位明顯已醉醺醺的男子的聲音。
The owner was so furious, he slammed down the receiver and went back to bed. A few minutes later there was another call and he heard the same voice ask the same question. "Listen," the owner shouted ,"there's no sense in asking me what time I open because I wouldn't let a person in your condition in-"
店主非常氣憤，砰地一聲掛上電話又上牀去睡。幾分鐘後又有一個電話，他聽到還是那個聲音問同樣的問題。“聽着，”店主嚷道，“不要問我什麼時候營業，因爲我不會讓你這種人進----”
"I don't want to get in," the caller interjected. "I want to get out“
我不是想進來，”那人打斷他的話，“我要出去。”
【註釋】
(1) obviously adv.明顯的
(2) inebriated adj.酒醉的
(3) slam v.砰然放下
(4) interject v.突然插話
英語笑話：母親的腳
To prevent our dog, Lacy, from pestering visitors to our house, my mother often massaged her as she lounged beneath the kitchen table, her favorite resting spot. One day a contractor came over to talk about a home-improvement project.
爲避免我們的狗，萊希，糾纏來訪的客人，我母親常在愛犬喜歡呆的地方，即餐桌下面，摩暱它。一天，一個建築商來談居室裝潢工程。
As he and my mother sat across the table discussing the renovations, my mother slipped off her shoes and mindlessly soothed Lacy with her feet.
在這人和我母親坐在餐桌邊談居室的修茸時，我母親滑脫了她的鞋子，開始不經意地用腳摩蹭起萊希來。
My mother had been talking for about a half-hour when to her great embarrassment she heard Lacy bark outside the front door.
談話進行了半個小時的時候，我母親突然感到很不好意思起來，因爲這時她聽到了萊希在前門外的犬吠聲。
【註釋】
(1) prevent (from)v.避免;阻止
(2) pester v.使苦惱;困擾
(3) massage v.按摩;揉捏
(4) lounge v.懶洋洋地坐着或站着
(5) contractor n.承包商
(6) improvement n.改進;改善
(7) renovation n.修復;修理
(8) slip off滑脫;掉
(9) mindlessly adv.不注意地
