英語笑話大全爆笑短
笑話是民族文化不可或缺的一部分。透過笑話我們可以看到一個民族的生存環境、生活方式、社會關係和心理特徵等等。小編精心收集了爆笑英語笑話，供大家欣賞學習!
i'm not having it all cut off
沒把頭髮全剪掉啊
miles sometime went to the barber's during working hours to have his hair cut. but this was against the office rules: clerks had to have their hair cut in their own time. while miles was at the barber's one day, the manager of the office came in by chance to have his own hair cut and sat just beside him.
麥爾斯有時在上班時間去理髮館理髮，但這是違反辦公室規定的：職員只能利用自己的時間理髮。一天，正當麥爾斯理髮時，經理碰巧也進來理髮，而且就坐在他旁邊。
"hello, miles," the manager said. "i see that you are having your hair cut in office time."
"你好，麥爾斯，"經理說。"我看到你在上班時間理髮了。"
"yes, sir, i am," admitted miles calmly. "you see, sir, it grows in office time."
"是的，先生。正是這樣。"麥爾斯平靜地承認了。"可先生，你看，頭髮是在上班時間長的。"
"not all of it," said the manager at once. "some of it grows in your own time."
"不全都是吧，"經理立刻說，"有一些是在你自己的時間裏長的。"
"yes, sir, that's quite true." answered miles politely, "but i'm not having it all cut off."
"對呀，先生，你說得很對。"麥爾斯禮貌地回答說，"但我並沒有把頭髮全都剪掉啊。"
爆笑英語笑話篇2a life for a life
以“命”抵命
the english author, richard savage, was once living inlondon in great poverty. in order to earn a little money he hadwritten the story of his life, but not many copies of the bookhad been sold in the shops, and savage was living from hand tomouth. as a result of his lack of food he became very ill, but after a time, owing to the skill of the doctor who had lookedafter him, he got well again.
英國作家理查德·薩維奇一度在倫敦過着貧困潦倒的生活，爲了賺幾個錢，他曾寫了有關他自己生平的故事。但是這部書在書店裏並沒有賣出幾本，薩維奇過着朝不保夕的日子。由於缺乏食物，他病得很厲害。後來，由於給他治療的那個醫生的高明醫術，他才又恢復了健康。
after a week or two the doctorsent a bill to savage for his visits, but poor savage hadn't anymoney and couldn't pay it. the doctor waited for another month and sent the bill again. but still no money came. afterseveral weeks he sent it to him again asking for his money. inthe end he came to savage's house and asked him for payment, saying to savage, “you know you owe your life to me and iexpected some gratitude from you.”
過了一兩個星期之後，醫生給薩維奇送來了一張討要診費的帳單，但是貧窮的薩維奇沒有錢來償付。醫生等了一個月後又送來了帳單，但仍然未索回分文。幾個星期之後，他又送來帳單要錢。最後，醫生本人來到了薩維奇的家中，對他說：“你明白，你是欠我一條命的，我希望你有所報答。”
“i agree,” said savage, “that i owe my life to you, and toprove to you that i am not ungrateful for your work i will givemy life to you.”
“是的，”薩維奇說，“我是欠你一條命，爲了向你證明我對你的診治不是不報答，我將把我的命給你。”
with these words he handed to him two volumes entitled,the life of richard savage.
說着這番話，薩維奇遞給醫生兩卷書，名叫《理查德·薩維奇的一生》。
爆笑英語笑話篇3senior class
年長者階層
during the doctor's periodic visit to my elderly mother, i told him that mother would be celebrating her 98th birthday in few days. delighted by the news, he bent down and gave her a kiss for the occasion. he then announced that he, too, would be celebrating a birthday in few days and asked for a kiss in return.
醫生按期來探視我的老母。我告訴他母親不幾天就要慶祝她98歲的生日了。醫生聽了也很高興，爲此，他彎下腰來親了她一下。然後他說不幾天他也要慶祝自己的生日，並要求她還他一個吻。
when he left, my mother shook her head in disgust. "can you imagine, " she said. "seventy dollars and i had to kiss him too!
醫生走後，我母親厭惡地搖搖頭。“你能想象嗎，”她說，“付了他70元，我還得親他!”
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