爆笑英語笑話

很多英語國家在漫長的歷史中，廣泛流傳着很多經典的幽默小笑話。今天，小編爲大家準備了幾則經典的英語笑話，給大家來分享一下，希望大家開心一笑，一起來看看吧!

爆笑英語笑話1

Hospitality

The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy.

好客

由於客人在吃蘋果餡餅時，家裏沒有奶酪了，於是女主人向大家表示歉意。這家的小男孩悄悄地離開了屋子。過了一會兒，他拿着一片奶酪回到房間，把奶酪放在客人的盤子裏。 客人微笑着把奶酪放進嘴裏說：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你媽媽的好。你在哪裏找到的奶酪?” “在捕鼠夾上，先生。”那小男孩說。

爆笑英語笑話2

The mean man's party

The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."

"Why use my elbow and foot?"

"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-hangded, are you?"

吝嗇鬼請客

一個出了名的吝嗇鬼終於決定要請一次客了。他在向一個朋友解釋怎麼找到他家時說：“你上到五樓，找中間那個門，然後用你的胳膊肘按門鈴。門開了之後，再用你的腳把門推開。”

“爲什麼要用我的肘和腳呢?”

“你的雙手得拿禮物啊。天哪，你總不會空着手來吧?”吝嗇鬼回答。

爆笑英語笑話3

There was once a snail who was sick and tired of his reputation for being so slow.

曾經有隻蝸牛，它對自己動作慢的名聲感到了厭惡和疲倦。

Hedecided to get some fast wheels to make up the difference.

他決心去弄些跑得飛快的輪子來改變這種境況。

After shopping around a while, he decided that the Datson 240-Z was the car to get.

逛了一圈之後，它決定買Datson 240-Z。

So the snail goes to the nearest Datsundealer and says he wants to buy the 240-Z, but he wants it repainted "240-S".

去了最近的Datsun經銷店，去買Datson 240-Z，但是它想把這輛車重新刷漆，改稱240-S。

The dealer asks, "Why 'S'?"

經銷商問：“爲什麼是S呢?”

The snail replies, "'S' stands for snail.

蝸牛回答說：“‘s’代表蝸牛。

I want everybody who sees me roaring past to know who's driving."

我想讓每一個看見我呼嘯而過的人知道是誰在開車。”

Well, the dealer doesn't want to lose the unique opportunity to sell a car to a snail,

經銷商不想失去把汽車賣給蝸牛這樣一個機會，

so he agrees to have the car repainted for a small fee.

所以他同意收取些許費用，把車重新塗漆。

The snail gets his new car and spent the rest of his days roaring happily down the highway at top speed.

蝸牛開着它的新車，把自己的餘生都用在了快樂地高速行使在告訴公路上。

And whenever anyone would see him zooming by, they'd say "Wow! Look at that S-car go!"

而不論何時任何人看見它飛馳而過的時候，都會說：“哦!看那S-car 。”

爆笑英語笑話4

The warden of the prison felt sorry for one of his inmates because every weekend on Visitor’s Day, most of the prisoners had family members and friends coming, but poor George always sat alone in his cell.

So one Visitor’s Day, the warden called George to his office and said, "I notice you’ve never had any visitors, George." Sympathetic, he put his hand on George’s shoulder. "Tell me, don’t you have any friends or family?"

George replied, "Oh, sure I do, Warden. It’s just that they’re all in here!"

典獄長對獄中一位囚犯深感同情，因爲每逢週末的探訪日，大多數囚犯都有家人或朋友來訪，但是可憐的喬治總是孤伶伶地坐在自己的囚室中。

因此在一個探訪日，典獄長把喬治叫到辦公室說：“喬治，我注意到從來沒有人來探望過你。”他滿懷同情地把手放在喬治的肩膀上：“告訴我，你沒有任何朋友或家人嗎?”

喬治回答：“喔!當然有，典獄長，只不過他們全都在這裏面!”