雙語閱讀：讓孩子學會感恩
摘要：感恩已不再只是節日的事情。圍繞兒童感恩情況的一個研究領域正在興起，初步研究結果顯示，父母憑直覺提起這個話題非常正確。如果孩子能真正地歷數使他們感到幸福的事情，這對他們有實際益處。
At the Branstens' modern white dining table, thefamily holds hands for their nightly ritual.
Arielle, 8 years old, says she's thankful for her late grandfather, Horace, and how funny he was.'I'm missing him, ' she says. Her third-grade pal, over for dinner, chimes in, 'I'm grateful forthe sausages.' Leela, who works for an education nonprofit, and her attorney husband Peter,burst into smiles. The San Francisco couple couldn't have scripted this better. Appreciation forthings big and small -- that's why they do this.
布朗斯唐(Bransten)家現代風格的白色餐桌旁，一家人手拉手開始每天晚上都會進行的儀式。
讓孩子學會感恩
八歲的阿麗爾(Arielle)說，她感謝已故的祖父霍拉斯(Horace)以及他的風趣。“我一直想念他，”她說。阿麗爾來家裏做客吃飯的三年級同學插嘴說：“我感謝有香腸吃。”在一家非營利教育機構工作的利拉(Leela)和當律師的丈夫彼得(Peter)不禁笑起來。這對生活在舊金山的夫婦的這個安排非常完美。對生活中大大小小的事情心存感恩——這就是他們這樣做的原因。
Giving thanks is no longer just holiday fare. A field of research on gratitude in kids isemerging, and early findings indicate parents' instincts to elevate the topic are sprete benefits come to kids who literally count their blessings.
感恩已不再只是節日的事情。圍繞兒童感恩情況的一個研究領域正在興起，初步研究結果顯示，父母憑直覺提起這個話題非常正確。如果孩子能真正地歷數使他們感到幸福的事情，這對他們有實際益處。
Gratitude works like a muscle. Take time to recognize good fortune, and feelings ofappreciation can increase. Even more, those who are less grateful gain the most from aconcerted effort. 'Gratitude treatments are most effective in those least grateful, ' saysEastern Washington University psychology professor Philip Watkins.
感恩的形成如同肌肉。如果花時間認識到值得慶幸的事，感恩的情緒就會增加。甚至感恩之心沒那麼強的人在齊心協力的努力中會獲益最多。東華盛頓大學(Eastern Washington University)心理學教授沃特金斯(PhilipWatkins)說，感恩療法在那些感恩之心較爲淡薄的人身上最有效。
Among a group of 122 elementary school kids taught a weeklong curriculum on conceptsaround giving, gratitude grew, according to a study due to be published in 2014 in SchoolPsychology Review. The heightened thankfulness translated into action: 44% of the kids in thecurriculum opted to write thank-you notes when given the choice following a PTApresentation. In the control group, 25% wrote notes.
將於2014年發表在《學校心理學評論》(School Psychology Review)上的一項研究報告顯示，一個由122名小學生組成的小組在接受了爲期一週的有關付出的課程後，感恩心態有所增強。增加的感激之情轉化成了行動：參加課程的孩子在觀看一個家庭教師協會(PTA)的演示後，有44%的孩子選擇了寫感謝信。對照組寫感謝信的孩子比例爲25%。
'The old adage that virtues are caught, not taught, applies here, ' says University of California,Davis psychology professor Robert Emmons. Parents need to model this behavior to build theirchildren's gratitude muscle. 'It's not what parents want to hear, but you cannot give your kidssomething that you yourselves do not have, ' Dr. Emmons says.
加州大學戴維斯分校(University of California, Davis)的心理學教授埃蒙斯(Robert Emmons)說，有句老話叫美德重在身教而非言傳，在這裏也適用。父母需要以身作則表現出感恩，才能讓孩子也學會感恩。埃蒙斯說，關鍵不在於父母想聽些什麼，而是你自己都不具備的品質不可能傳授給孩子。
This may seems obvious, but it eludes many parents, Dr. Watkins says. 'I think the mostimportant thing for us adults to realize is we're not very grateful either, ' he says.
沃特金斯說，這看上去似乎是顯然的，但很多父母並沒意識到。他說，我認爲對我們這些成年人來說最重要的是要認識到，我們自己也沒有多少感恩之心。
The mere act of giving thanks has tangible benefits, research suggests. A 2008 study of 221kids published in the Journal of School Psychology analyzed sixth- and seventh-gradersassigned to list five things they were grateful for every day for two weeks. It found they had abetter outlook on school and greater life satisfaction three weeks later, compared with kidsassigned to list five hassles.
研究表明，僅僅是表示謝意的行動也會帶來實際的益處。2008年發表於《學校心理學雜誌》(Journal ofSchool Psychology)的一項研究報告對221名六年級和七年級的學生進行了分析，他們被要求在兩週時間裏每天列出爲之心存感恩的五件事情。研究發現，相比被要求每天列舉五件爲之煩惱的事的孩子，這些孩子在三週後對學校的看法更積極，生活滿意度也更高。
Another study examined 1, 035 high-school students outside New York City. The study,published in 2010 in the Journal of Happiness Studies, found that those who showed high levelsof gratitude, for instance thankfulness for the beauty of nature and strong appreciation ofother people, reported having stronger GPAs, less depression and envy and a more positiveoutlook than less grateful teens.
另一項研究檢查了紐約市以外1,035名高中生的情況。該研究論文於2010年發表於《幸福研究雜誌》(Journalof Happiness Studies)，研究發現，相比那些不太感恩的青少年，具有強烈感恩之心的學生(比如對自然之美心存感恩，或很感激其他人)平均成績更高、不容易沮喪和嫉妒，也更爲積極樂觀。
Further, teens who strongly connected buying and owning things with success and happinessreported having lower GPAs, more depression and a more negative outlook. 'Materialism hadjust the opposite effect as gratitude -- almost like a mirror, ' says study co-author JeffreyFroh, associate professor of psychology at Hofstra University.
此外，將購買和擁有事物與成功和幸福聯繫起來的青少年成績較差、情緒更低落、也更爲悲觀。上述研究的聯合作者、霍夫斯特拉大學(Hofstra University)心理學助理教授弗羅(Jeffrey Froh)說，物質主義產生的效果與感恩剛好相反。
Internet shopping has made acquisition so easy, the value of goods can be harder torecognize. 'Today, if one of our boys needs a new pair of shoes, my wife goes on Zappos,picks out the color and size, and they show up the next day in a FedEx box. No wishing. Noprioritizing. No desiring for something that is out of touch. Just click the button, and presto,the shoes arrive on our doorstep, ' says Willy Walker, who heads commercial real estatefinance firm Walker and Dunlop in Bethesda, Md. 'It drives me crazy.'
網絡購物讓買東西更方便，但是人們更難以意識到商品的價值。在馬里蘭州貝塞斯達經營商業房地產金融公司Walker and Dunlop的沃克爾(Willy Walker)說，現在，如果哪個孩子需要一雙新鞋，我妻子就會上Zappos網站，挑好顏色和尺寸，第二天鞋子就裝在聯邦快遞(FedEx)的盒子裏送來了。沒有許願的過程，不用決定優先順序，沒有對可望而不可及的東西的期許。只要點擊鼠標，然後鞋子轉眼就送到門口了。這簡直讓我發瘋。
He has reacted to this reality -- so different from how he'd eye a pair of Pumas at the store formonths before ever getting them as a kid -- with determination to keep consumption modestwhere possible. So, he hasn't set up the Wii his kids received as a present. 'They get plenty ofvideo entertainment all over, so why not scale back at home?' he says.
現在的情況完全不同於他自己小時候在店裏眼巴巴地看着一雙彪馬(Puma)運動鞋、要好幾個月才能得到的情形，面對這一事實，他決心儘可能地將孩子們的消費保持在適度的水平。因此他一直沒有設置孩子們作爲禮物收到的Wii遊戲機。他說，他們到處都有一大堆的視頻遊戲，因此爲什麼不在家裏減少一點兒呢?
When his son wanted a cellphone for his 11th birthday, Mr. Walker set out to 'get the Pintorather than the Cadillac.' In this case, his resolve fell away when challenged by factors like easeand quality. 'The Pintos didn't really limit access to texting or Web-browsing. They just dideverything worse than the more expensive phones. So we got him an iPhone 4S. Ugh.'
當他兒子想要一部手機作爲11歲生日禮物時，沃克爾打算買個便宜的，不要高檔的。這一次，由於考慮到手機的使用便利程度和質量等因素，他的決心有所動搖。他說：“廉價手機其實也並不限制收發短信或上網。它們只不過是所有的功能都比更昂貴的手機差。於是我們給他買了部iPhone 4S。唉。”
A 2013 study in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin that tracked materialism in 355, 000high school seniors from 1976 to 2007 found that desire for lots of money has increasedmarkedly since the mid-1970s, while willingness to work hard to earn it has decreased. Amongkids surveyed, 62% thought it was important to have lots of money and nice things between2005 and 2007, while 48% had this view from 1976 to 1978.
2013年發表於《人格與社會心理學公報》(Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin)的一項研究在1976年至2007年期間跟蹤調查了35.5萬名高中高年級學生的物質主義傾向，結果發現，自上世紀70年代中期以來，學生們想要很多錢的願望大大增加，而通過努力賺錢的意願則下降了。在接受調查的孩子中，2005至2007年之間有62%的人認爲有很多錢和好東西很重要，1976至1978年有此看法的孩子比例爲48%。
'This subject is huge for us, ' says Gabrielle Toledano, an executive vice president atvideogame company Electronic Arts. She and her husband live in San Francisco with their 9-year-old, Amelie, and 12-year-old, Ben. Ms. Toledano, and her husband Kurt Gantert, a campdirector and stay-home dad, are deliberate about finding everyday ways to remind their kidshow good they've got it.
視頻遊戲公司藝電(Electronic Arts)的執行副總裁托勒達諾(Gabrielle Toledano)說，這個主題對我們來說意義極爲重大。她和丈夫與九歲的女兒阿梅莉(Amelie)和12歲的兒子本(Ben)住在舊金山。托勒達諾和丈夫甘特爾特(Kurt Gantert)深思熟慮，在日常生活中想辦法提醒孩子們，他們享受着多好的生活。甘特爾特是一位夏令營負責人，並負責在家帶孩子。
'We eat family dinner every night and thank Dad for making it, ' Ms. Toledano says. 'We talkabout how I work hard so we can have nice food. If the kids don't come to the table when wecall them, I tell them it's rude, because someone has made an effort, ' she says.
托勒達諾說，我們一家人每天晚上吃飯時都會感謝爸爸做飯。我們會談論我工作有多辛苦，所以我們纔有可口的美食。如果我們叫孩子們吃飯時他們沒來到餐桌邊，我會告訴他們這樣沒禮貌，因爲有人爲此付出了辛勞。
The couple is committed to their kids' having part-time jobs when they are old enough. 'Theyshould work in the back office or the kitchen, ' Ms. Toledano says. 'There are interesting,hardworking people there. You learn more about gratitude when you have friends who aren'tas privileged as you are, ' she says.
這對夫婦決心在孩子們足夠大時讓他們從事兼職工作。托勒達諾說，他們應當在後勤部門或廚房裏幹活。那裏有一些很有意思、努力工作的人。如果你有一些境遇不如自己的朋友，你會更多地學會感恩。
Despite good intentions, some parents are struggling with how to stoke the giving fires in theirchildren. 'It's an uphill battle, ' says Andrea Rice, president of professional developmentcoaching business CareerCore. Her kids are 12 and 9. 'We both work, so the kids have an aupair. They are shuttled from A to B. They don't really struggle much. Because that's theirreality, it doesn't matter how much you say, 'Appreciate this, appreciate that, ' ' Ms. Rice says.
雖然懷揣着良好意願，但一些父母覺得很難讓孩子更多地付出。“這是非常艱難的。”職業發展培訓機構CareerCore的總裁萊斯(Andrea Rice)說。她的孩子分別爲12歲和九歲。萊斯說，我們夫妻兩人都要上班，因此孩子們有一個住家保姆。他們總在不斷穿梭。他們其實沒遇到過什麼困難。因爲現實就是這樣的，不管你怎樣苦口婆心地說對這個要感恩，對那個要感恩。
Everyday actions may be even more important than big efforts, researchers say. 'Expressgratitude to your spouse. Thank your kids, ' Hofstra's Dr. Froh says. 'Parents say, 'Whyshould I thank them for doing something they should do, like clean their room?' By reinforcingthis, kids will internalize the idea, and do it on their own.'
研究人員說，父母的日常行爲可能比花大力氣去說教孩子更爲重要。霍夫特斯拉大學的弗羅說，向你的另一半表示感謝。同時也要謝謝你的孩子們。弗羅表示，父母會說，我爲什麼要爲孩子應該自己動手做的事情去謝謝他們，比如打掃自己的房間?但實際上，通過這種強調方式，孩子會將這一想法內在化，然後自己來做。
Still, Eastern Washington's Dr. Watkins cautions, 'Don't shove it down their throats.' His familygives thanks at Thanksgiving, but it's not a formal process. 'Don't make this, 'It's your turn, sosay something whether you feel it or not, ' ' he says.
但東華盛頓大學的沃特金斯提醒說，這件事還是不要硬來。他的家庭會在感恩節彼此道謝，但不會搞得非常正式。他說，不要弄成好像是“該你了，無論有沒有感受，都說點什麼吧”。
UC Davis's Dr. Emmons believes gratitude is actually easier for kids. 'As we get older, the giveand take of life is driven by expectations around tit-for-tat reciprocity. Kids have a naturalaffinity to gratitude. They often teach parents as much or more about gratitude than theother way around.'
加州大學戴維斯分校的埃蒙斯認爲，其實孩子更容易懷有感恩的心態。他說，隨着年齡的增長，我們生活中的給予和回報往往會變成你來我往這種互惠型期待，而孩子則有一種很自然的感恩心理，他們在這方面教給父母的常常與父母教給孩子的一樣多，甚至更多。
艱難歲月也要滿懷感恩之心
Being thankful is especially valuable in challenging times. Gratitude is actually medically proven to lift our spirits and improve our health. Discover how a little gratitude can create a lot of happiness in our lives.
在艱難的歲月裏還能懷有一顆感恩之心就顯得越發彌足珍貴。感激之情其實也是一劑良藥，能幫我們提高情緒增強健康。你會發現生命中的小小感激也能創造大大的幸福：
1. Find What You're Grateful For
想想讓你感激的人或事
The real uncertainty we face about our economic future can make us quite fearful and sad. Locating those things for which we can still be grateful, brings joy even in the face of those challenges without pretending they are not real.
我們所面臨的經濟生活不穩定會讓我們很擔心很難過，想想那些讓我們心存感激之情的人或事，會給我們帶來歡樂，就算有困難挑戰也無所謂，我們有足夠勇氣面對，不用假裝它們不存在。
2. Articulate It
說出你的感謝
Tell a friend or loved one a story about something for which you are grateful. Don’t be surprised to find yourself smiling by the end of that story.
跟朋友或者愛人說說你感激的故事，說完你會發現自己在微笑，別驚訝，這就是感激的魔力。
e's Always More to Be Grateful For
總是有很多值得感謝的人或事
Consider the difference between wealth and value. While material wealth is important, it is not the only source of real value in our lives. We can all celebrate value, even when the material wealth in our lives is taking a beating.
想想財富和價值之間的差異。物質財富很重要，不過它並不是我們生活中真正價值的唯一來源。就算生活中的物質財富遭受了打擊，我們也還能慶祝生命的價值。
4. Wealth Begins Within
我們其實很富有
An ancient rabbinic teaching reminds us that we are wealthy when we are happy with what we possess.
古老的諺語提醒着我們，因爲所擁有的東西感到快樂，我們也可以很富有。
iness and Satisfaction Are Different
快樂和滿意不一樣
We can want more than we currently have and still be happy with what we've got. Wanting more does not have to get in the way of enjoying what we already have. If it does, we will never have enough.
我們現在擁有，我們想要的更多，我們也會因爲現在的擁有而感到快樂。想要更多，並不會阻礙我們享受現在已有的東西。如果你無法享受現在的擁有，那你永遠也不會滿足。
6. It's All Relative
一切都是相對的
A person who lives in a $100,000 house in a neighborhood of $75,000 homes experiences living in a mansion. The same house in a neighborhood of $500,000 homes may feel like a hovel.
在7.5萬美元的小區裏，住着10萬美元房子的人會覺得自己住的是別墅;同樣的房子換到50萬美元的小區裏，他會覺得自己住的是茅舍。
7. Help yourself by Helping Others
幫助別人其實也是幫助自己
The holidays are a great time to reach out to other people in need. And helping others address their needs is one of the best ways to relieve the anxiety we may feel about our own.
節假日是向其他需要幫助的人伸出援手的好機會。幫助他們，滿足他們的需要，也是緩解我們自身焦慮最好的方法之一。
8. We All Have Something to Give
我們總是有東西可以給予
No matter how difficult our circumstances may be, we can all offer support to those around us. Whether it’s a penny, a dollar, or much more, the act of giving always makes us feel as if we have more than we thought we had.
也許我們的境況很艱難，可是不管怎麼樣，我們都還是能支持身邊的人，也許只是一點點錢，可是這樣給予的過程會讓我們感到，我們其實擁有很多。
