雙語故事:身上鑽入邪惡螞蟥,雲南艱辛看病記

CHINA'S HEALTH-CARE system is a great subject for reporting. But I would have preferred to do it as a journalist, not as a patient at Tongcheng People's Hospital.

中國的醫療體系是一個很好的報道主題。只是我更情願是從記者的角度──而不是從騰衝縣人民醫院一名患者的角度──來說說中國的醫療體系。

My wife, Debra, and I are just back from our third trip to Yunnan, a picturesque, verdant province in China's southwest. We have an amazing guide, Frank Hitman─'Flanke' to the Chinese─who is endlessly enthusiastic and as tourist-junk and crap-food avoidant as we are.

我和我太太德布拉(Debra)剛從我們的第三次雲南之行歸來。雲南是位於中國西南部的一個風景如畫、滿目蒼翠的省份。我們請到了最棒的嚮導──弗蘭克•西特曼(Frank Hitman)，他每時每刻都精力充沛，和我們一樣，他也討厭廉價旅遊紀念品和垃圾食品。

The highlight of the trip was a hike over what Frank called the 'mighty' Gaoligong mountains. They are green and jagged and go on and on and eventually end in Burma. We were crossing a trail that was part of the Burma Road of World War II fame, starting at 5,000 feet and climbing to 10,000 feet. Frank's lovely girlfriend, Anne-Sophie Markus, a photographer, came along, as did Mr. Ji, Frank's driver, who thought most everything we did was hilarious.

旅途中最精彩的當屬徒步穿越弗蘭克形容爲“浩瀚無際”的高黎貢山。這座山脈一碧無際、連綿起伏，最終延伸到緬甸境內。我們的穿越路線始自海拔5,000英尺（約合1,524米）的地方，在中途要攀升至海拔10,000英尺（約合3,048米），這條路徑是第二次世界大戰中著名的滇緬公路的一部分。與我們同行的還有弗蘭克可愛的女友、攝影師安妮-索菲•馬庫斯(Anne-Sophie Markus)，以及弗蘭克的司機老紀。老紀覺得我們做的大部分事情都很好笑。

Deb and I like hiking─or, more precisely, we like the idea of hiking. We usually forget that hiking involves walking up and down steep mountains and encountering all manner of things we'd rather just read about. On the seven-mile hike up the mountain, Anne-Sophie saw a wild wolf, who thankfully was more frightened of us than vice versa; I brushed my hand against a poisonous bush that left the back of my hand stinging for three days; and all but Frank were beset by nasty leeches that left our clothes bloody.

德布拉和我喜歡遠足──或者更準確地說，我們喜歡遠足這個愛好。我們通常都會忘記，遠足需要在陡峭的山間爬上爬下，並且在這一過程中我們會遇到形形色色的、我們只想讀到但不想親身經歷的事情。在徒步行走了大概七英里的時候，安妮-索菲看到了一隻野狼，謝天謝地，它更害怕我們，而不是我們更怕它；我的手還蹭到了一種有毒灌木，這讓我手背上的刺痛感直到三天之後才消失；此外，除了弗蘭克，每個人都受到了令人討厭的螞蟥的困擾，這讓我們的衣服變得血跡斑斑。

At some point, what must have been thousands of laborers placed tens of thousands of stones along the trail to make it more passable. Great for hikers when dry; treacherous when wet. It's almost always wet.

在某些路段，你可以想象，一定是曾有數千名勞工把成千上萬噸的石料鋪在了地上，這讓通行變得容易多了。天晴對遠足者是好消息；下雨則是噩夢。而我們面對的幾乎都是雨天。

Deb and I made it to the summit, huffing and puffing and taking many breaks. The journey down was far harder. The route was much steeper, the rain was pounding and the rocks led through one stream after another. It was like hiking down a mountain coated with ice.

儘管德布拉和我一路上氣喘吁吁、頻頻休息，但是我們最終還是成功地抵達了此次遠足路線的頂峯。不過，下山的旅程卻更加艱苦。山路變得更陡峭了，大雨傾盆而下，岩石間的小溪一條接着一條，下山的路簡直可以用如履薄冰來形容。

I took a powerful pratfall just below the summit, smashing my back against the stone steps. Deb screamed. I could barely breathe and my right side was on fire. I hoped I'd just had the wind knocked out of me, but I knew that was optimistic.

在離開頂峯後不久，我就狠狠地摔了一跤，我的背撞在了石頭臺階上。德布拉嚇得大叫起來。我感到呼吸困難，身體的右側像是着了火一樣。我希望我只是因爲重擊而喘不上氣來，但是我知道這太樂觀了。

We were at 10,000 feet on a mountain. My ribs were bruised or broken. And it was 10 miles to the nearest dirt road. For the rest of the hike, I went at the pace of a 90-year-old using a walker, grunting in pain all the way. Frank held my hand on particularly treacherous paths. It rained and rained and rained. Shortly before sunset we made it to the bottom, soaked and shivering.

那時，我們在海拔10,000英尺的大山裏。我的肋骨不是挫傷就是斷了。我們距最近的土路有10英里（約合16公里）。在剩下的路途中，我走路的速度就像一位扶着助行架走路的90歲長者，並且一路上都由於疼痛而呻吟不止。弗蘭克攙着我走過了那些極其難走的路段。雨下得沒完沒了。就在太陽落山之前，我們抵達了山腳，渾身溼透、凍得發抖。

After a night's sleep, we all headed to Tengchong People's Hospital to see what I had done.

睡了一覺之後，大家一起陪我來到了騰衝縣人民醫院檢查身體。

Tengchong is a lovely, green city where people smile a lot and─unlike in other Chinese cities─drivers don't try to mow you down. Tengchong People's Hospital is crowded and decaying and full of patients who look in terrible shape and are seeking any edge to move ahead of their fellow sufferers and see a doctor.

騰衝是一個可愛的、鬱鬱蔥蔥的城市，那裏的人們都很愛笑──不像在中國的其他城市──騰衝的司機也不會開着車橫衝直撞。騰衝縣人民醫院門庭若市，顯得老舊不堪，醫院裏到處都是看起來狀態很糟糕的患者，每位患者都爭先恐後地試圖趕到其他患者前面，早一點看到醫生。

I had several advantages over other patients. First, I was a Westerner, which made me an instant celebrity. Second, I had Mr. Ji, who knows his way around Chinese bureaucracy. No complaints from me about long waits─or charges. Tengchong People's charges 1 yuan (16 cents) to be admitted and 4.4 yuan (67 cents) to see a doctor. An X-ray is 114 yuan ($18.39).

相對於其他患者，我有幾點優勢。首先，我是個西方人，這讓我瞬間成了知名人士。第二，我有老紀幫忙，他知道怎樣和中國的官僚機構打交道。我對於長久的等待和收費都沒有任何怨言。騰衝縣人民醫院收取的掛號費只有人民幣一元，診斷費爲人民幣4.4元。X光檢查的費用爲人民幣114元。

But 'seeing a doctor' didn't have quite the meaning it does in the U.S. There were two guys in lab coats sitting at wooden tables, besieged by patients. Frank explained in Chinese what had happened. I pointed to my rib cage.

但是在那裏“看醫生”和在美國“看醫生”的含義卻不盡相同。在醫院的診室裏，兩位穿着白大褂的男醫生坐在木頭桌子前，被衆多患者簇擁着。弗蘭克用中文解釋了我摔倒的經歷。我用手指了指自己的胸腔。

'Does your stomach hurt?' one of them asked. What about lower back? No, to both questions. They dispatched me to the X-ray area, where a dozen people were watching the technician's screen over his shoulder.

其中一個醫生問我：“肚子疼不疼？”腰呢？我回答，都不疼。接着，他們安排我去X光室做檢查，在那裏有十來個人正在從X光技師的肩膀上方盯着他的屏幕。

'Waiguoren?' he asked, stunned at the possibility. 'Foreigner?' I was whisked ahead of the other patients into the X-ray room, where I was zapped without lead draping. I hope their aim was good.

“外國人？”這位技師問道，看起來很驚訝。他們把我先於其他患者送進了X光室，卻並沒有給我穿防護鉛服。我希望他們拍片子是有準頭的。

Finally, I got to see a specialist, who sat at another wooden desk. He looked at my X-rays, holding them up to the light from the window. He conferred with Frank and Mr. Ji.

最終，我見到了一位專家，他也坐在一張木頭桌子面前。他對着從窗戶射進來的光線審視着我的X光片。他邊看邊與弗蘭克和老紀交談。

The diagnosis: two broken ribs. 'See?' he said, holding up the film. I saw two gaps, which I guess were the breaks. I fell on a good part of my back, he said. (Easy for him to say.)

診斷結果：斷了兩根肋骨。他舉着我的X光片問道：“看到沒有？”我看到了兩條裂紋，我猜想那就是摔斷的肋骨。他說，我摔的位置還不錯。（我心裏想，你倒是說得輕巧。）

Take it easy, he said. Take Chinese medicine. (He didn't say what kind.) And try some Yunnan-made spray that's good for healing. Pain should subside in two weeks or so.

他說，別擔心。用點兒中藥。（他沒說哪種中藥。）再噴點有助於康復的一種雲南產的氣霧劑。兩週左右痛感應該就會減弱。

And that was it. Today, the pain is excruciating when I turn suddenly, but it doesn't hurt much to sit in a chair or lie in a bed. Deb hits me with the Yunnan spray─27 special ingredients, none listed on the can. I screech from the cold, which she finds amusing.

就是這樣了。現在，在我突然轉身的時候，疼痛感會非常強烈，但是，當我坐在椅子上或躺在牀上時已經不怎麼疼了。德布拉每天都幫我噴那種雲南氣霧劑，這種氣霧劑由27種成分製成，不過藥瓶上沒有列明任何一種成分。冰涼的噴霧讓我大叫起來，德布拉覺得這很好玩兒。

Things could be worse. I've been leech-free for two days now.

事情本來沒準還會更糟糕呢。兩天之前我身體裏才終於沒有螞蟥了。