美國的生理衛生課什麼樣

Reasons Why I Shouldn’t Have to Go Tonight: If I wanted to talk about it, I would. / It’s my body. / It’s a waste of time. / It’s a waste of money. / I know what I need to know. / It sounds pretty stupid to me. / It’s so stereotypical because obviously I know this happens to everyone. / Considering I took the time out of my morning to write you these extremely reasonable and great reasons not to make me go (and it took forever because I can’t type very well), and the fact that I really, really, really, really . . . really, really, really strongly don’t want to go, please don’t send us to this horrible torture.

我今晚沒道理非去不可的理由如下：如果我想聊這些，我早就聊了；這是我的身體；這純屬浪費時間；這純屬浪費錢；我知道我需要知道什麼；我覺得這聽起來好蠢；這太陳詞濫調了，我當然知道每個人都會遇到這個問題；鑑於我抽出了自己寶貴的晨間時光，給你寫下這些極其正當和漂亮的理由，來說服您別讓我去（而且我不怎麼擅長打字，這實在花了我太長太長的時間），加上我真的真的真的真的……真的真的真的完全不想去，求您就別讓咱倆去受這個罪了吧。

PLEASE DON’T MAKE ME GO. I DON’T WANT TO GO.

求、您、別、讓、我、去。我、真、的、不、想、去。

The plea came from Leah Likin, a fifth grader. It was addressed to her mother, who had registered both of them for a two-part course on puberty called “For Girls Only.” The missive, which included additional objections, failed: Mother took daughter anyway. But Leah had plenty of company, peers who shared her resistance, their arms crossed, their eyes downcast. Last year, the course, which is split into sessions for preteen boys and girls and held mostly in and around Seattle, and also in the Bay Area, pulled in 14,000 attendees. They heard about it from their pediatricians, or through word of mouth.

這是五年級學生利婭·利金(Leah Likin)所發出的懇求。懇求的對象是她的母親——她剛剛爲自己和女兒申請了一門介紹青春期的課程，共分上下兩堂，名爲“女孩專修”。這篇抗議信中還含有更多的反對言辭，可惜卻未能如願——母親最後還是把女兒帶去了。但是利婭有許多同伴，那些和她一樣抗拒的同齡人，雙臂抱胸，低垂着眼簾。這門課程又分爲兩個專題，分別針對青春期前的男孩和女孩，主要在美國西雅圖及其周邊地區以及舊金山灣區進行，在去年先後吸引了1.4萬名參與者。他們有的是從兒科醫生那裏得到的消息，有的則是從其他參與者那裏聽說的。

The creator of the course, Julie Metzger, has been trying for nearly three decades to turn what’s so often at best a blush-inducing experience — the “facts of life” talk — into a candid dialogue between parents and children. In the mid-1980s, she was a graduate student at the University of Washington School of Nursing when she reviewed survey data on how women had learned about menarche, or the onset of menstruation, for her master’s thesis. Most reported getting information from gym class or their mothers. “You can picture those conversations lasting from 10 seconds to 10 hours,” Metzger says. “And I thought, Wouldn’t it be interesting if you actually had a class where you sit with your parents and hear these things from someone? What if that class were fun and funny and interactive?”

這門課程的創始人朱莉·梅澤爾(Julie Metzger)，近三十年來一直在努力將這種在最好的情況下也容易令人臉紅的活動——有關“人生真相”的談話——轉化爲父母與子女之間的坦誠對話。20世紀80年代中期時，她還是一名華盛頓大學護理學院(University of Washington School of Nursing)的研究生，正在瀏覽有關女性瞭解初潮（即首次月經）途徑的調查數據，用來爲自己的碩士論文做準備。大部分女性都表示，她們是從體育課或自己的母親那裏瞭解到有關知識的。“你可以想象這些短至10秒鐘、長則10小時的談話都是什麼樣子，”梅澤爾說。“於是我想，要是有一種課程，能讓你和父母坐在一起，聽別人介紹這方面的事情，不是很有趣嗎？要是這堂課程還好玩、搞笑又充滿互動呢？”

Metzger, who is 56 and vigorous, with flushed cheeks and blue eyes, says she has always been comfortable talking about sexuality; her father was a urologist, her mother a nurse. “Hand me a microphone,” she says. “I get so into this topic that I can make myself cry in front of the class, and it’s real.”

梅澤爾今年56歲，精力充沛，臉色紅潤，有一雙藍眼睛。她說她一直都能很自在地討論性方面的話題；她的父親是泌尿科醫師，母親是護士。“給我一支話筒，”她說，“我會全身心地投入這個話題，甚至能在全班面前哭出來，而且是真哭。”

Her class on puberty debuted in 1988 at Allegheny General Hospital in Pittsburgh, where she was the nurse manager of the pediatrics unit. The class was so crowded, she says, that “we had to run it twice.” That reception convinced her that there was an appetite for a forthright talk about growing up. Soon after she moved back West in 1990 — she was raised in Portland, Ore. — Metzger began offering the course at Seattle Children’s Hospital.

她開設的青春期課程，於1988年在匹茲堡的阿勒格尼醫院(Allegheny General Hospital)首度問世，那時她正是這間醫院的兒科護士長。她說，當時來參加的人多到不行，以致於“我們只好辦了兩次”。課程如此大受歡迎，讓她確信，大衆之間確實存在着強烈的需求，想要直率地聊聊成長的話題。她在1990年搬回美國西部（她是在奧勒岡州的波特蘭市長大的）後不久，便開始在西雅圖兒童醫院(Seattle Children’s Hospital)開設同類課程。

“Parents walk in feeling almost victimized by preteens and puberty, and my job is to utterly transform their ability to connect,” she says. “That sounds so arrogant, but I know when I walk in that room, that is my work.”

“父母們帶着深受青春期前和青春期子女之苦的心情走進來，而我的工作就是徹底轉變他們的能力，讓他們能夠與子女建立親密關係，”她說。“這聽起來很是妄自尊大，但是我只要走進那個房間，就知道該怎麼做，這就是我的工作。”

On a recent winter evening, Metzger stood at the door to the hospital auditorium and greeted every mother-daughter pair with animation, as if she’d known them for years, and told each girl to take an index card and a ballpoint pen with the name of her company, Great Conversations, on it. The first hour of each class amounts to an informative stand-up routine — Metzger sticks a sanitary pad on her shoulder to show that it won’t slip around — but the second hour is devoted to answering the girls’ questions. Metzger believes that having kids pose questions fosters intimacy and allows parents to hear for themselves what their children’s concerns are. In the first class, when the focus is on the physical changes caused by puberty, Metzger tends to be asked: Why do we have pubic hair? What does it feel like to have a growth spurt? How do I know when I’m getting my period?

不久前的一個冬日晚上，梅澤爾站在醫院的大禮堂門口，熱情地迎接着一對又一對母女，彷彿早已與她們熟識。她讓每個姑娘都去拿一張索引卡和一支印着她公司名字“偉大談話”(Great Conversations)的圓珠筆。每堂課的頭一個小時，是一場例行的教育性獨角戲：梅澤爾會把一片衛生巾貼在肩膀上，讓大家看到它並不會左右滑動。但是第二個小時則全部留給姑娘們來問問題。梅澤爾認爲，讓孩子們來提問可以培養親暱感，也能讓這些家長們親耳聽聽自己的孩子都關心些什麼。在第一堂課中，當大家的關注點都放在青春期所帶來的生理變化時，梅澤爾常常會被問到：爲什麼我們要長陰毛？經歷身體的迅速發育是什麼感覺？我要怎麼知道自己何時會來月經？

As the girls scribbled on their index cards, some used their elbows to block an inquisitive mother’s gaze. (Bolder girls will sometimes go so far as to write things like “This is from Susan in the third row, in the red shirt.”) After intermission, during which Metzger collected the cards into a disorderly pile, she put on a pair of thick red reading glasses and began.

姑娘們在索引卡上寫字時，有的會用自己的手肘擋住母親好奇的視線。（大膽一些的姑娘有時則敢於寫下這樣的文字：“我是第三排的蘇珊，穿着紅色的襯衫。”）梅澤爾在課間休息時收回了所有的卡片，隨意地疊成一摞，然後戴上一副紅色厚底的閱讀鏡，就此開始。

“Can boys stick a tampon in their penis?” she read. “Absolutely not. They can try, but I wouldn’t recommend it.” She flung the card to the floor.

“男生能用衛生棉條插在陰莖裏嗎？”她念道，“絕對不行。他們是可以試試看，但我不建議他們這麼做。”她將這張卡片丟到了地上。

“Do you always get a baby from having sex?” she read. “My husband and I have been married 28 years. We may have had sex over 1,000 times. I am happy to report we do not have 1,000 children. There are ways to show and share your love without having a baby.” Another card flew out of her hand.

“只要發生性行爲就一定會有小孩嗎？”她念道，“我和我丈夫結婚28年了。我們大概已經發生了1,000多次性行爲。我很樂意告訴大家，我們並沒有因此就生出了1,000個小孩。有辦法讓你不用懷上寶寶，也能表達和分享你的愛意。”又一張卡片從她的手中丟了出去。

“Does having sex hurt?” she read. “When people bring their bodies together, their ear might go into your elbow, but because you have chosen someone you love and trust, you say, ‘Please get your elbow out of my ear.’ And they would say, ‘Of course.’ Do I look like someone who would choose something 1,000 times if it was painful? No, I do not.”

“發生性關係的時候會疼嗎？”她念道，“當兩個人的身體重合在一起時，一方的耳朵可能會撞到另一方的手肘，但因爲你選的是一個你愛和信任的人，你會說：‘請把你的手肘從我的耳朵上拿開。’然後他們就會說：‘沒問題。’我看起來像是那種明明覺得很疼，卻還會選擇去做1000次的人嗎？不，我纔不會。”

The second class of every course delves into the opposite sex’s puberty, along with reproduction and decision making. Metzger can count on at least one girl asking how you know if you want to have sex with someone. At the class I attended, she got the expected question, then walked briskly to one side of the auditorium and said: “Let’s say it’s 8:12 on a Tuesday night, and you walk by a complete stranger. What would you do?”

第二堂課則深入探討另一性別的青春期，同時講解生殖和如何做決定。梅澤爾很有把握，至少會有一個姑娘問到，你怎麼知道你想不想跟一個人發生性關係。在我參加的那堂課上，果然有人問了這個問題，於是她敏捷地走到了禮堂的一頭，說：“假設現在是週二晚上8點12分，你經過一個完全陌生的人。你會怎麼做？”

“Nothing,” the girls chirped.

“什麼也不做。”姑娘們高聲答道。

“What if it’s 8:12, and you run into Ralph from Jamba Juice, and your family gets a Jamba Juice every Saturday. What would you do?”

“那如果還是晚上8點12分，你偶然遇到了堅寶果汁(Jamba Juice)店裏的拉爾夫(Ralph)，而你們全家每週六都會去買一杯堅寶果汁。你又會怎麼做？”

“Say hi,” someone yelled. With each question, Metzger moved a few steps toward the other side of the room. “What if it’s your friend whom you haven’t seen since 2:30? What’s your feeling?”

“向他問好，”有人大聲答道。每問一個問題，梅澤爾就會朝着房間的另一頭走上幾步。“如果那是你在下午2點半之後就再也沒見着的朋友呢？你會有什麼感覺？”

“Happy!”

“開心！”

“What are the consequences? Sleepover! Now what if you spot your grandmother? You give her a big hug, and what’s the consequence? She takes you shopping. But what if I go over to a stranger and shake her hand? What if I give Ralph a huge hug like you did your grandmother?”

“結果會怎麼樣呢？到朋友家過夜！那如果你看到的是你的祖母呢？你深深地擁抱了她，結果又會怎麼樣呢？她會帶你去購物。但如果我走向一個陌生人，和她握了握手，又會如何？如果我像你擁抱祖母那樣抱了抱拉爾夫呢？”

The girls snickered. By now, Metzger had reached the other side of the room, her movement reinforcing the notion that different relationships call for different behaviors. “Ohh,” Metzger said with exaggeration. “You’re saying my actions don’t reflect my feelings for these people? If you’re telling me that, then if two people brought their bodies so close that a penis actually went inside a vagina, that’s enormous. If it’s true what you’re telling me, that this seems to be one of the biggest human-being actions, I have to put it together with some of the biggest human-being qualities — trust, respect, love, commitment. That’s why some people say this action belongs only to grown-ups, and that’s why some people say this action belongs only in marriage.”

姑娘們咯咯地竊笑了起來。此時，梅澤爾已經走到了房間的另一頭，她用動作來加強說明，不同的關係會引發不同的行爲。“噢！”梅澤爾誇張地說道，“你說我的行爲沒有表現出我對這些人的感覺？如果你這麼跟我說，那麼要是有兩個人的身體能夠靠近到足以讓男生的陰莖插入女生的陰道的話，這可是件了不得的大事。如果真的如你所說，這看上去的確是人類最了不得的行爲之一，那我也得把它與人類最偉大的品質結合起來——信任、尊重、愛、承諾。所以纔有人說這件事只有成年人才能做，還有人說這件事只有在結婚後才能做。”

Boys and girls experience puberty differently. For girls, puberty typically begins at 10 or 11 and lasts five to six years, punctuated by distinct events — breast development and the onset of menstruation. Puberty for boys starts later, around 11 or 12, and lasts longer. Many girls are done with puberty — over, by definition, when growth stops — in their sophomore year of high school. Boys, on the other hand, may still be growing in college, and some secondary sex characteristics, like beard growth, may not show up until they are in their 20s.

男孩與女孩所經歷的青春期是不一樣的。就女孩而言，青春期通常是在10歲或11歲時開始，然後持續五到六年的時間，中間夾雜着幾項特別的表現——胸部發育和月經初潮。男孩的青春期則開始得晚一些，大約會是在11歲或12歲的時候，持續的時間也會更久。許多女孩在高一時就已結束了青春期——根據定義，也就是身體發育停止的時候。而男孩則可能直到進了大學後都還在發育，而部分第二性徵，例如鬍鬚生長，可能要到他們20多歲的時候纔會出現。

The first night of the boys’ course includes a musical interlude, “The Penis Opera,” in which the falsetto of the boys is set off by the bass of their fathers. Preteen boys think saying “penis” is funny, and my son, then 11, guffawed even as he looked around to gauge others’ reactions — perhaps because no one anywhere else ever shouts “penis” at the top of his lungs.

在男孩專修課的第一晚，還包含一段音樂間奏——《陰莖歌劇》(The Penis Opera)，內有數名男孩的假聲合唱，並由他們父親的低音來爲他們和聲。青春期前的男孩總覺得講出“陰莖”這個詞是件很滑稽的事，我兒子（當時11歲）在四下環顧觀察他人的反應時，便鬨笑了起來——這或許是因爲在其他任何地方都不會有誰會用最高的音量高唱“陰莖”吧。

“Maybe you’ve been using the word ‘willy’ or ‘stick’ or ‘twig,’ ” the instructor, Greg Smallidge, a sexuality educator who teaches many of the boys’ classes, told the audience. “We were brought up for generations with people thinking it wasn’t O.K. to name these body parts. That’s why we need ‘The Penis Opera.’ We need to talk about sexuality.”

“也許你一直以來用的都是‘小雞雞’、‘老二’、‘小弟弟’這樣的說法，”講師格雷格·斯茅利智(Greg Smallidge)對觀衆說，他是一名性教育工作者，負責教授男孩專修課中的很多內容，“撫養我們長大的那代人，都認爲直接叫出這些身體部位的名稱是不合適的。所以我們才需要這首《陰莖歌劇》。我們需要討論性器官。”

Yet what that conversation should include is far from settled. In 1913, Chicago’s became the first major school system in the United States to include sexuality as a subject. More than 100 years later, there is still no standardized curriculum. Detailed guidelines, released in 2012 as a resource for school districts, recommend minimum standards for comprehensive K-12 sex ed, but compliance is voluntary. “No state or school district I’m aware of has adopted them in full,” says Danene Sorace, who coordinated the development of the guidelines for Future of Sex Education, a partnership of three nonprofits. As a result, sex ed varies widely in schools. Some places, like New Jersey and Chicago, deliver age-specific lessons starting in kindergarten and continuing all the way through Grade 12. Other places, like Clark County, Nev., home to Las Vegas and the nation’s fifth-largest school district, teach abstinence-based curriculums. Many states have no policies; more than half receive a share of the $50 million that the federal government hands out each year to promote abstinence through community programs.

但是這番對話所應包含的內容還遠遠沒有固定下來。1913年，芝加哥成爲美國第一處將性教育納入科目的主流學校體系。100多年過去了，這門課程依然沒有一套標準化的教學大綱。詳細的教參，還是在2012年作爲學區資料發放的，這套教參爲K-12的全方位性教育給出了最低程度的建議，但是是否遵從全憑學校自願。“就我所知，目前尚無哪個州或學區全面採用了這套教參，”負責爲一個由三家非營利機構合作的項目“性教育之未來”(Future of Sex Education)協調方針制訂的達南·索拉切(Danene Sorace)說。結果便導致不同學校的性教育普遍存在着巨大差異。有些地方，例如新澤西和芝加哥，就開設了針對不同年齡的性教育課程，從幼兒園開始，一直持續到12年級。其他地方，例如內華達州的克拉克郡，也就是拉斯維加斯的所在地和全美第五大學區，採用的則是基於禁慾主義的性教育大綱。許多州都沒有相應的政策；有半數以上的州共同分享聯邦政府每年下發的5千萬美元的資金，通過社區計劃宣揚禁慾。

Great Conversations represents a distinct shift from the usual approach to sex education. Metzger believes that adolescence and puberty should be the purview of children and their parents, not solely that of children and their teachers. “The idea that we are talking to two generations at the same time is at the core of this,” she says.

“偉大談話”代表着一次偏離傳統性教育路線的獨特轉變。梅澤爾認爲，青春期和發育期應該納入親子交流的範疇，而非僅僅侷限於師生交流。“我們同時與親子兩代對話的想法，就是這一觀念的核心所在，”她說道。

In a 2012 survey by the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy, 87 percent of teenagers said “open, honest” conversations with their parents could help them put off sex and avoid pregnancy. Students who take part in comprehensive sex-ed programs delay having sex for the first time, have less sex and fewer partners and rely more on contraception than their peers. (Conversely, abstinence-only instruction has not succeeded in extending virginity.) “As parents of young children, we are really engaged,” Sorace says. “But sexuality is such a taboo topic in our culture that when it comes to adolescence, we freeze.”

全國防止少女意外懷孕運動(National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy) 於2012年進行的一項調研顯示，87%的青少年都表示，與父母“坦率、誠懇”的對話能幫助他們推遲性行爲，避免懷孕。參與了綜合性教育計劃的學生髮生首次性行爲的時間均有所推後，發生性行爲的次數和伴侶的人數也會更少，並且比他們的同齡人更加註重避孕措施。（相反，單純的禁慾要求從未成功延長過青少年保持童貞的時間。）“作爲年輕子女的父母，我們的事情真的很多，”索拉切說，“但是性在我們的文化中是一個如此忌諱的話題，乃至於只要一談到青春期的話題，我們就失語了。”

That’s probably why information about sex, whether from parents or schools, is so often delivered in serious, white-coat fashion, its clinical messages heavy with the fear of consequences. To those who advocate abstinence until marriage, attitudes like Metzger’s foster permissiveness. But limiting the conversation to abstinence, Metzger says, “isn’t a full-enough understanding of sexuality.” Because they are voluntary, Great Conversations courses are free to be more frank than school-based sex ed; they can sidestep detractors who think kids shouldn’t be taught about masturbation, for example. “We are not saying you have to learn this,” Metzger says. “People get to choose to come to us.”

這或許就是爲何無論父母還是學校，通常都會從一種嚴肅的醫學角度來傳達性的相關信息，這些臨牀信息中充斥着對性行爲後果的畏懼。在那些提倡婚前禁慾的人看來，梅澤爾這樣的態度根本是在鼓勵性開放。但是將這方面的談話內容僅僅侷限在禁慾的話題內，“對性的理解並不全面”，梅澤爾如是說。“偉大談話”的課程由於俱爲自願參與，因而可以比學校主導的性教育更放得開；他們能夠避開那些抱持着種種反對意見的批評者，比如認爲不應教導孩子有關自慰的知識。“我們並沒有強迫大家必須瞭解這些，”梅澤爾說，“大家都是自己選擇加入我們的。”

Metzger’s greatest challenge might be figuring out how to speak in one voice to families from radically different backgrounds and viewpoints. For the most part, the course, which costs $70, attracts a well-educated, mostly homogeneous demographic. But over the years, Metzger and her business partner, Robert Lehman, who also runs the boys’ curriculum, have tried to appeal to lower-income parents. They found success in Palo Alto, where the class is regularly taught in Spanish. But in Seattle, Metzger says, she has struggled to find a community partner. A deal with the Y.M.C.A. fell through because of the need to simultaneously translate instructors’ rapid-fire delivery into several languages.

梅澤爾的最大挑戰，或許仍在於要如何找出一種特定的方式，與背景及觀念存在着巨大差異的衆多家庭同時交流。這門收費70美元的課程，吸引到的多是一批受過良好教育、質素基本相當的人羣。不過這幾年來，梅澤爾和她的事業夥伴，同樣負責管理男孩專修課的羅伯特·雷曼(Robert Lehman)，也在嘗試引發低收入父母的興趣。他們在帕洛阿爾託市獲得了成功，那裏的課程會定期以西班牙語講授。但是在西雅圖，據梅澤爾說，她卻一直在苦苦尋找合適的社區合作方。他們原本曾與基督教青年會(Y.M.C.A.)定下合作，可惜最後卻化爲了泡影，因爲他們需要將講師語速極快的講授內容同步翻譯成數種語言。

Earlier this month, Metzger got an email from a middle-school teacher she knows: Would Great Conversations want to teach a group of disadvantaged students — some homeless, others victims of abuse? Two of her instructors are interested, and Metzger is imagining what shape such a class would take. “It wouldn’t be the same song and dance,” she says.

本月早些時候，梅澤爾收到她認識的一位中學老師發來的電子郵件：有批弱勢學生，有的是無家可歸的孤兒，有的是虐待行爲的受害者，偉大談話願意爲他們講課嗎？她的公司有兩名講師對此很感興趣，梅澤爾正在構想這樣的一堂課應該採取何種形式。“不能是同樣的一套東西。”

Metzger’s course might need to evolve in other ways. Lindsey Doe, a clinical sexologist whose YouTube channel, Sexplanations, tackles subjects ranging from kissing to anal sex, attended Great Conversations with her daughter. She was disappointed that the focus was limited to either boys or girls. Where would a transgender or an intersex child fit in? “I loved the curriculum so much that I wanted it to be perfect, and that was the piece that would have completed my experience,” Doe says.

梅澤爾的課程或許還需發展出其他形式。臨牀性學家林德賽·朵爾(Lindsey Doe)在YouTube上開設了一個個人頻道“性釋”(Sexplanations)，涉及的話題從接吻到肛交，無所不包。她也和女兒一起參加了偉大談話的課程。讓她失望的是，課程的焦點僅囿於男孩或女孩的話題。那些跨性別或雙性的孩子又該何去何從？“我非常熱愛這門課程，所以我真心想讓它變得盡善盡美，而這就是本可以讓我的課程體驗盡善盡美的那部分，”朵爾說。

Metzger is open to the idea. Finding the right words to include adoptive families was tricky when she started teaching the course; now, it’s how to deal with sexual identity. “There was a titanic shift five years ago when the audience began demanding a more open conversation around homosexuality and transgender experiences,” she says. “We’re always trying to balance the readiness of the room, and we may be running a bit behind.”

梅澤爾對於這個主意抱持着開放的態度。在她剛開始教授這門課程時，要找到得當的表述將領養家庭也囊括在內，是一件很需要技巧的事；而今，需要她費心思的，則是如何解決性別認同的問題。“我們的課程在五年前曾經有過一次大範圍的調整，當時我們的聽衆紛紛開始要求圍繞着同性戀和跨性別者，談論一些更爲開放的話題，”她說，“我們一直都在努力平衡我們課程的適用面，可能我們在進度上有點落後了。”

In November, my 10-year-old, Shira, and I attended For Girls Only. There was an undercurrent of nervous tension as we waited for the class to start. Mothers looked stressed, daughters embarrassed. Shira hadn’t wanted to come. “I don’t want to learn about puberty,” she pouted. “I don’t even like the word.” But as the girls looked around, some of them spying friends, they seemed emboldened: Maybe theirs weren’t the only parents to drag them to a talk about penises and vaginas.

11月份時，我又和我10歲的女兒席拉(Shira)一同參加了“女孩專修”課程。在我們等候課程開始的時候，現場充滿張力的緊張空氣中，似有一股暗流涌動。在場的母親們看起來都很有壓力，女兒們則一臉窘迫。席拉本來也不想來。“我不想學什麼青春期的東西，”她撅了撅嘴，“這個詞就讓我不喜歡。”但是當姑娘們四下張望的時候，有的卻暗暗找起了朋友，也有的似乎壯起了膽子：也許並不是只有自己的父母會硬拖着自己的孩子來聽什麼陰莖和陰道的事情。

And then Metzger won them over. At one point, she handed out a diagram of a woman’s reproductive organs and challenged the girls to go home, stand naked in front of a mirror and superimpose the image over their abdomens to get a sense of where things were in their bodies. When Shira’s drawing fell to the floor, she gave me an impish grin and asked, “Mom, could you pick up my uterus?”

然後梅澤爾就征服了她們的心。中間有一個時候，她給大家發了一份女性生殖器官的圖示，要姑娘們在回家後，赤裸着身體站在鏡子前，將這張圖擺在自己的肚子上，感受一下這些器官都在自己體內的什麼位置。當席拉的圖畫掉到了地上時，她衝着我頑皮地咧嘴笑了幾聲，問道：“媽媽，你能把我的子宮撿起來嗎？”

Later still, she leaned forward, intrigued, when the talk turned to how to insert a tampon; I’d never explained that to her. “Some people worry they’ll put it in too far,” Metzger was saying. “What if you’re in social studies and it comes out your ear?” She pantomimed stumbling across the room and pulling a tampon out of her ear; lots of laughter followed her. “That — ” Metzger paused dramatically — “cannot happen.”

少頃，當話題進行到要如何放入一根衛生棉條的時候，她向前靠了靠，露出了一臉的好奇——我從沒跟她解釋過這個問題。“有些姑娘擔心自己會放得太深，”梅澤爾說道，“萬一自己正在參與義工活動，而棉條突然從耳朵裏跑了出來，那可怎麼辦？”她假裝磕磕絆絆地走過房間，然後從耳朵中掏出了一根棉條；這段表演引發了一陣鬨堂大笑。“這種事……”梅澤爾戲劇性地停頓了一下，“是不會發生的。”

A month later, on a drizzly December Monday, I met with Leah Likin, now 14. She has long, curly hair that fades from brown to blond, and she twirled one lock around and around as she talked. I asked her why she was dead-set against going to Metzger’s class three years earlier. She struggled to explain herself. At last she said, with a blush that highlighted her freckles: “I guess I didn’t want to grow up. I was happy with the way things were. I am realizing now that the class was superhelpful. Julie sends you away with this greater message that we are all in this together, that you’re fine,” she said, referring to Metzger. “That’s what my mom always says: You are just right the way you are.”

一個月後，就在12月份一個細雨迷濛的星期一，我遇到了現年14歲的利婭·利金。她留着一頭長長的捲髮，從頭頂的褐色漸變至髮尾的淡金色，一邊說着話，一邊一圈又一圈地轉動着手中的一把鎖頭。我問她三年前爲何打定了主意拒不參加梅澤爾的課程。她費力地解釋了一番。在最後，她帶着泛紅的臉蛋說（這讓她臉上的雀斑更加惹眼了幾分）：“我想那時的我大概是不想長大吧。我滿足於當時的一切。我現在就開始意識到，那次的課程對我的幫助太大了。朱莉向我們傳達了一個更重要的信息，那就是我們全在一起經歷這個階段，而你沒有什麼問題，”她說，在話中提到了梅澤爾，“這也是我媽媽一直在說的話：你現在這樣就挺好的。”