這些戀情建議真的很糟糕
1. LIVING TOGETHER IS A GREAT WAY TO TEST THE WATERS FOR THE FUTURE
1. 同居是測試未來合不合的好方法The problem with this advice is that very few couples have a seamless Move-in experience, which means it's easy to assume that a few hiccups along the way mean your relationship is doomed. "Healthy, happy couples don't start out compatible," explains Patty Newbold, a marriage educator. "They build their relationship skills dealing with the small differences so that they're ready for the big ones that come along later. Create a lifestyle and a home you're both compatible with, and do it together, so you're ready for whatever illnesses, losses, disabilities, career changes, lapses in character, and childrearing challenges might come up later."
這個建議存在的問題是，只有少數情侶有無縫同居的經歷，這就意味着假如你們的戀情出現阻礙，你們會很容易覺得這段戀情註定失敗。"健康、快樂的情侶一開始的時候也會有矛盾，"婚姻教育家帕蒂·紐博德解釋道。"他們會通過一些小事積累戀愛技巧，以後遇到大問題的時候就能從容應對。創造一種你們都覺得不錯的生活方式和家庭，共同努力，這樣你就會做好準備，應對未來可能出現的任何疾病、損失、殘疾、職業變化、性格缺失和撫養孩子的挑戰。"
2. PLAY HARD TO GET
2. 欲擒故縱
"The vast majority of the time playing hard to get guarantees that both of you are going to end up alone," says James Anderson, dating expert at Beyond Ages. "The dating world is competitive and few people have the time to constantly pursue someone who is not demonstrating any interest. Stop playing these silly games and show a little interest back. You will be giving yourself many more opportunities with people you otherwise might have missed out on."
"對於大多數玩欲擒故縱這一招的人來說，最後的結果是：倆人都獨自一身，"Beyond Ages的約會專家詹姆斯·安德森說道。"約會的世界競爭力強，只有少數人有時間不斷追求對其沒有興趣的人。不要再玩這些愚蠢的遊戲了，也對他/她表現出興趣吧。這樣你就會給那些你可能錯過的人更多的機會。"3. FORGIVE AND FORGET
3. 既往不咎"Forgiveness is absolutely crucial to having a healthy relationship, but forgetting is not necessary," says Monte Drenner, a licensed mental health counselor in Orlando, FL. "'Forgive and let go' is better advice."
"原諒對於建立健康的戀情關係至關重要，但卻沒有必要忘記，"弗羅裏達州奧蘭多的持證心理健康顧問Monte Drenner說道。"'原諒且不追究'是更好的建議。"4. AGE IS JUST A NUMBER
4. 年齡只是數字There are certainly relationships with age gaps that work out beautifully, but experts say couples closer in age tend to be happier. "Age matters less as you get older-that's true. But dating someone close to your age has huge benefits," says Anna Wood, dating and lifestyle expert. "You'll have the same cultural references, interests, and grow into new life stages at the same time."
當然，有些戀人雖然相差好幾歲但卻能相處和睦，但專家表示：年齡相近的情侶往往更幸福。"隨着年齡的增長，年齡變得不那麼重要--這是事實。但與年齡相近的人約會卻能帶來巨大好處，"約會和生活方式專家安娜·伍德說道。"你們將擁有相同的文化、興趣，並同時成長進入生活中的新階段。"5. IF YOU FALL OUT OF LOVE, YOU SHOULD GET DIVORCED
5. 如果你們倆不愛了，那就應該離婚"This is one of the worst things I hear from people over and over again," says Irina Baechle, a relationship therapist and coach. "The truth is, falling in love is merely a nature trick pulling humans into marriage to reproduce."
"這是我從別人口中反覆聽到的最糟糕的建議，"戀情治療師和教練Irina Baechle說道。"事實上，墜入愛河只不過是把人類帶入婚姻進行繁殖的大自然的把戲。"
