較長的英語笑話故事閱讀 英語文摘
笑話一般比較短小,喜劇性很強,普遍存在於人們的日常生活中。笑話的娛樂作用可以減輕人的心理壓力,促進身體健康。本站小編分享較長的英語笑話故事，希望可以幫助大家!
A husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big kiss, says she'll see him later and wAlks away.
His wife glares at him and says, "Who the hell was that?"
"Oh," replies the husband, "she's my mistress."
"Well, that's the last straw," says the wife. "I've had enough, I want a divorce."
"I can understand that," replies her husband, "but remember, if we get a divorce it means that you don't get any more shopping trips to Paris, no more wintering in Barbados, no more summers in Tuscany, no more Ferraris and Lexus's in the garage and no more yacht club. But the decision is yours."
Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant with a gorgeous babe on his arm.
"Who's that woman with Jim?" asks the wife.
"That's his mistress," says her husband.
"Ours is prettier," she replies.
較長的英語笑話故事：Still a virginA lawyer married a woman who had previously1 divorced ten husbands.
On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin2."
"What?" said the puzzled groom3.
"How can that be if you've been married ten times?"
"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.
Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.
Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.
Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.
Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement5, and design a new state-of-the-art method.
Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.
Husband #7 was in marketing4: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.
Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.
Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.
Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"
"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"
"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"
較長的英語笑話故事：蛋糕Dick was seven years old,and his sister,Catherine,was day their mother took them to their aunt's house to play while she went to the big city to buy some new clothes.
The children played for an hour,and then at half past four their aunt took Dick into the gave him a nice cake and a knife and said to him,"Now here's a knife, this cake in half and give one of the pieces to your sister,but remember to do it like a gentleman."
"Like a gentleman?" Dick asked."How do gentlemen do it?"
"They always give the bigger piece to the other person." answered his aunt at once.
"Oh" said thought about this for a few he took the cake to his sister and said to her,"Cut this cake in half,Catherine.".
迪克年齡七歲,他的妹妹凱瑟琳五歲.一天,媽媽把他們帶到姨媽家去玩,自己就到大城市去買些新的衣服.
孩子們玩了個把小時,在四點半的時候,姨媽領着迪克走進了廚房.她交給迪克一塊精美的蛋糕和一把刀子,並對他說：“喏,迪克,給你刀子,把這塊蛋糕一切爲二,給你妹妹一塊.不過,你得記住要做得像一個紳士那樣.”
迪克問：“像一個紳士?紳士怎樣做呢?”
他姨媽馬上回答說：“紳士總是把大的一塊讓給別人的.”
迪克說了一聲“噢”.他對此想了一會,然後,他把蛋糕拿給妹妹,並對她說：“凱瑟琳,你來把這塊蛋糕一切爲二吧.”
較長的英語笑話故事：I work for 7up"!我可是在七喜公司工作呀Four best friends met at the hospital since their wives were giving births to their nurse comes up to the first man and says,"Congratulations,you got twins." The man said "How strange,I'm the manager of Minnesota Twins." After awhile the nurse comes up to the second man and says,"Congratulations,you got triplets." Man was like "Hmmm,strange I worked as a director for the "3 musketeers." Finally,the nurse comes up to the third man and says
"Congratulations,you got twins x2." Man is happy and says,"Ironic,I work for the hotel "4 Seasons." All three of them are happy until they see their last buddy jumping all over the place,cursing God and banging his head on the asked him what's wrong and he answered,"What's wrong?I work for 7up"!
四個好朋友在醫院裏碰面了,他們的妻子正在生產.護士過來對第一個男人說:"恭喜,你得了雙胞胎."男人說:"多奇怪呀,我是明尼蘇達雙子隊的經理."過了一會兒,護士過來對第二個男人說:"恭喜,你得了三胞胎."男人很喜歡:"嗯,又巧了.我是3M公司的董事."最後,護士跑來對第三個男人說:"恭喜,你得了2對雙胞胎."男人很開心地說:"真令人啼笑皆非,我爲四季賓館工作."他們三個都很高興,但第四個夥伴急得像熱鍋上的螞蟻,咒罵上帝並用頭撞牆.他們問他有什麼不對勁,他回答道:"什麼不對勁?我可是在七喜公司工作呀!"
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